


Direction

by valkyrish



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alcohol references, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Building A Team, But it has a plot, Changing Tires, F/M, Friendship, Hook-Up, Hotwiring, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sex, Jedi Training, Lots of Innuendo, Making Out, Morning After, On the Run, Romance, Some Cursing, Suggestive Dialogue, This doesn't even pretend to resemble canon anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 00:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 46,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3875311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkyrish/pseuds/valkyrish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hera has direction and Kanan's a distraction. When their paths cross at a party, they take a break from reality. Too bad reality can only wait for so long. </p><p>Modern/college AU Kanera that starts with a simple hook up and gets much more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wingmen

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt: We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU (http://jonahryan.tumblr.com/post/117050708072/aus-for-when-your-otp-are-both-assholes)
> 
> Happy Star Wars Day!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kanan agreed to be his roommate's wingman, he didn't imagine that it would involve a heated argument with a stubborn Twi'lek.

“This whole house stinks. How many people live here?”

“Wow, already? Live a little, Jarrus, it’s Friday!”

Skelly’s palm hit Kanan’s back with a resounding thud, sending Kanan forward into an end table that must have spent the better part of its life in a dumpster. He caught himself before either he or the table fell, pushing himself off the rotting wood and rounding on his friend.

“What the hell, man?” he demanded, brushing his hands off. “How many have you had?”

Kanan had a good foot on Skelly, and the shorter man shrunk back in his shadow, scratching his neck.

“Not that many,” Skelly mumbled, hiding the six pack he brought behind his back. Kanan didn’t need to see it to know there were only five beers left. "Geez, where’s fun Kanan tonight?”

“Fun Kanan died last night, leaving only the world’s worst hangover in his wake. Fun Kanan is not going to keep you out of trouble or drive you home.” Aspirin and lots of water had alleviated most of the hangover, but Kanan still didn’t feel right. Unlike Skelly, he couldn’t go three nights in a row.

Moreover, “fun Kanan” was always less appealing after waking up on the kitchen floor with a mouth drier than a sand pit and no idea how he got home.

“Sure, fine, but is grumpy Kanan going to get me _laid_?”

Kanan shook his head in disgust, following Skelly through the ramshackle house. At least he wasn’t spouting another conspiracy theory. They passed at least three people from their Modern Philosophy class on the way and Kanan tried to avoid eye contact. Skelly’s chances of hooking up with any of them were slim to none after his rant about Nietzsche in lecture that morning. Maybe it just seemed louder after a night of overindulgence, but it wouldn’t have surprised Kanan if the whole campus had heard his tirade.

He made it all the way to the kitchen before he realized he had lost Skelly. Then, like a beacon, shouts rose from the hallway.

“Hey, sweetheart! Where have you been hiding all semester? I mean, where have you been all my life?”

No, it wasn’t the hangover. Skelly really was _that loud_. Kanan slapped a hand to his forehead and headed back, arriving in time to see his roommate getting politely rejected by a female Togruta.

Skelly shook his head at the woman’s retreating form. “I'm hopeless. How do you do it, man?”

“Well, for starters, I don’t shout,” Kanan replied, noting that the six pack was down to four beers already. “You’re coming on a little strong.”

Skelly frowned, cracking open beer number three. “How else will they know I’m interested?”

“Skel.” Kanan placed a hand on his roommate's shoulder. “You do realize asking someone where they’ve been hiding sounds a little threatening, right?”

Stopping mid sip, Skelly’s mouth hung open as if this was a revelation. “Yeah, I guess I can see that. So what do I say?”

Kanan took a step back--Skelly was getting too loud again, even with the thumping music--and shrugged. “I don’t know. Ask about their major? Classes? Holonet vids? I can’t just explain how to be charming.”

Skelly looked around at random, eyes landing on a male Lasat. He tugged on the man’s shirt. “Hey, what’s your major?”

The Lasat eyed Skelly in confusion for a moment before turning back to his friends, shaking his head and muttering about undergrads.

Kanan cringed. Skelly’s shoulders drooped, then he downed his beer, laying the bottle on a table that was already cluttered with garbage.

“Show me, man. I’m a visual learner, you know that.”

Skelly scanned the room again, then pointed towards the kitchen, his eyes lighting up. Kanan followed his finger to a green-skinned female Twi’lek, and he nearly did a double take.

She was gorgeous, green eyes sparkling as she laughed at something. A smile formed on his lips. This was Skelly’s first good idea all night.

Then, he saw what had her in stitches. A red-haired guy next to her was waving his arms frantically above his head, beer in hand, probably doing some sort of impersonation. The Twi’lek doubled over and Kanan turned back to Skelly.

“Nice thought, but she’s with someone,” he reported.

Skelly shook his head. “I don’t know, man.” 

And he was off, leaving Kanan scrambling to catch up before his roommate made a fool of himself.

“What’s yo--”

Kanan grabbed Skelly’s elbow before he could finish his question, and the Twi’lek and her (short) human friend looked on in disbelief.

“Let’s go, dumbass," said Kanan, voice firm.

“What’s your problem?” It was the Twi'lek, and her voice was just as lovely as her face, only now she was sneering.

It took Kanan a moment to realize that she was sneering at _him_ , not Skelly. “Excuse me?”

The Twi’lek straightened up, and she was almost as tall as Kanan. All traces of laughter left her voice as she looked him right in the eye. “Leave that guy alone.”

Kanan released Skelly’s arm. “Who, my roommate? I was trying to stop him from making an ass of himself in front of you and your boyfriend.”

She clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes. “Oh, thought you’d sweep in and just save the day, tough guy?”

Kanan shook his head with a short laugh. “Look, you really don’t get it. My friend here is a mess, and I’m keeping an eye on him. It has nothing to do with you.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “That’s not a very nice thing to say about your _friend_ , so forgive me if I don’t believe you." Air quotes framed the word _friend_.

Kanan smacked his forehead with his palm. “Wow, you are so perceptive! Please, tell me more about things that you couldn’t possibly understand.”

“Sure, let’s recap.” She began ticking things off on her fingers. “So far, you’ve yanked your friend around, insulted him, bothered me and MY friend, oh, and you called me stupid. Did I miss something?”

“You got all that out of what I said?" He let out a low whistle. This one had an active imagination. "If I wasn't making assumptions before, I sure am now! And yes, I caught your not-so-subtle hint that you're single."

The woman's eyes widened and her hands flew to her hips. "That is not what I said!"

"Not fun to have people jump to conclusions, is it?" He stared her down, smirking at his own victory, but her eyes narrowed in response. She pushed herself up on her toes to better match his height. There would be no concession on her part, and Kanan wasn't going to give her one either.

"I stated _facts_ , you're the one jumping to ridiculous conclusions." She rolled those green eyes and her upper lip curled. "I knew you just wanted to talk to me," she muttered.

This was the woman who had caught his attention from across the room? She couldn't even admit to being wrong about something petty.

"Oh, really?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Were you watching me or something? Not that I'd blame you."

Her nostrils flared and her mouth fell open. "In your dreams. You were the one who insisted on coming over here, remember? Or are you too drunk?"

"Ha! There you go again!" He pointed a finger at her nose, leaning closer. "I haven't had anything to drink today."

"I wouldn't be so quick to admit that this is just how you normally are." Boring into his eyes with her own, she pushed his finger aside. The movement brought them so close that their chests were almost touching and, to his chagrin, her palm was soft and warm.

"And I'm assuming you owe your charm to some fruity concoction?" he countered, pushing her hands from his mind. She didn't have alcohol on her breath; in fact it was minty.

"Please." She rolled her eyes again, somehow gaining another inch so they were nose to nose. "I don't drink, I'm just doing my friend a favor so HE can drink and meet people. That's what friends do."

"Thanks for the lesson, but it's like I told you." He lifted his hand to tap his chest, brushing her arm on the way. "I'm only here to keep an eye on my roommate."

For effect, he reached over to where Skelly was, groping for his jacket. When his roommate said nothing, Kanan tore his eyes away from the woman's glare and was shocked to find that Skelly was not alone. She turned to look as well.

The woman's friend and Skelly were making out against the wall.

The betrayal rendered Kanan and the woman speechless for several seconds until they shouted at the same time.

"Chopper!"

"Skelly!"

Their respective friends sprang apart.

"What the hell, Chop?" the woman demanded.

The redhead wore a smug grin. "Well, you and your new friend were so busy making eyes at each other that I got bored and found someone to make eyes with. Hera, this is Skelly."

"Yeah, thanks for the lesson, Kanan," Skelly added. "I think this makes us even. Anyway, we're heading out."

"Wait, where are you going?" Kanan and Hera asked in unison.

"Back to my dorm. It's right across the street." Chopper tossed a thumb over his shoulder, then turned to Hera. "Don't wait up."

Skelly grinned and waved at Kanan. "I won't be home until tomorrow morning," he said, throwing in a salute and a significant wiggle of his eyebrows.

And the two walked out together, leaving Hera and Kanan flabbergasted and still standing chest to chest.

When they turned back to each other, their noses brushed. Hera's eyes narrowed, but there was that persistent sparkle that had caught him from afar. She made no attempt to back away, and Kanan didn't feel like moving, either.

Maybe Skelly and Chopper were onto something. It had been a while since he had been with anyone, and this Hera certainly was spirited. There were worse ways to channel tension.

Then again, maybe she wasn't interested. She really didn't seem to like him, and he wasn't too fond of her, either.

 _She's more likely to punch me than_ \--

But before he could second guess her intentions, one of her hands curled around his neck and the other smacked the wall next to his head. Her glare softened just before he closed his eyes, and everything went fuzzy when her lips crashed into his. Thoughts quieted, he grabbed her waist, returning the kiss on instinct.

At first, it was all he could do to keep up. She was rough, tugging at his lower lip with her teeth and stoking the fire that was already burning within him. He formed his palms to the curves of her back as her hand dropped from the wall to rest on his chest.

Nudging her head up with his, he broke contact for a moment to reposition himself. He hovered over her, taking a breath of the air they shared. A soft gasp escaped her lips as she tried to resume the kiss and he smiled, pulling back just a fraction more.

"I thought you didn't approve of such rough tactics," he said, mouth so close to hers he could feel the heat radiating from her lips.

"This is different." Her nails grazed his skin through the fabric as she grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and he couldn't tease her anymore. Hera welcomed his kiss with an open mouth, their frenzied pace slowing to a luxurious crawl.

Kanan leaned back against the wall, hands falling to her hips as she molded herself to him. She wedged one of her legs between his. There was no hiding it now; he was ready to leave if she was. His lips met with the front of her teeth as she broke into a grin.

A tantalizing trail of kisses up his jaw left her at his ear, her quick breaths driving him mad. Her voice was soft, lips grazing the sensitive skin. "So, I hear your place is free."

He took in a deep breath through his nose, face brushing against hers as he nodded.

"I'm all yours if you'll have me."

She pulled back, eyes sparkling and lips curled in a devastating smile. "Then let's go somewhere."

They only made it as far as his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about human!Chopper, Skelly character assassination, and for the fade to black. Know that protection was used in all cases.


	2. Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Hera get to know each other in a few different capacities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of warning: this story isn't explicit, but things do get steamy in this chapter. I hemmed and hawed on the rating, but I think it's still Teen because it's nothing you wouldn't see/hear on a sitcom. Still, steer clear or skim if you aren't fond of sexual situations/dialogue.

The car turned out to be as good a place as any.

Hera gripped the back door armrest as she tried to catch her breath. She let her head fall to Kanan's neck, and his racing pulse drummed against the base of her lekku.

Kanan found his voice first. "All right, you won just now, but I'm still ahead."

As if she was going to forget. In her mind, that _did_ make him the winner, but she wasn't about to give him that satisfaction. Still, she wouldn't have been able to will the smile off her face if she tried.

“Well,” she said, releasing the door and propping herself up on his chest, "the night is young."

His eyes, aqua blue unlike anything she had seen before, fluttered shut and he shuddered.

"Oh, _Hera_."

The low rumble of his voice rolled through her, silencing any further boasts.

One of his hands came to rest at the small of her back. She gazed down at his blissful face, toying with a loose lock of his thick hair.

"Syndulla. That’s my last name."

His eyes snapped wide open, but he returned her smile. "Kanan Jarrus."

The rise and fall of his chest slowed in time with her heart, and Hera was the first to break eye contact.

"It'd be weird to shake hands now, right?" she asked.

Twitching lips betrayed his solemn nod. "Oh yeah, way too forward."

She dropped her head to his shoulder and joined him in laughter until reality started to displace the high. Once the laughs died down, she could no longer ignore the pins and needles in her legs.

"You must be uncomfortable," Hera said, grabbing the back ledge to pull herself up. "How do you even fit back here?"

"Awkwardly."

It was an understatement; one of his feet was propped up on the window while his other leg hung over the edge of the seat.

Getting into the car had been easy, but detangling the jumble of limbs was a different matter. Hera twisted to brace the driver seat as he struggled to pull his legs out from underneath her and sit upright.

When they were in separate seats again, they turned away from each other to straighten up. _I picked a good night to wear a dress_ , Hera thought, pulling her skirt back down. She admired the large, dirty boot print on the window while she waited for him.

The rustling stopped, and Kanan cleared his throat. "All clear?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You?"

"Very good.” He was grinning ear to ear, clothes straightened and ponytail back in place, holding the used condom and wrapper in what looked like an old napkin.

“That was quick,” she observed, though there hadn’t been much for him to do, either.

“I’m efficient.” Kanan shrugged, then furrowed his brow. "Wait, you were talking about getting dressed, right?"

Hera laughed again. Maybe it was a poor choice of words, but he was such a good sport. “I’ll just let you stew on that.”

Kanan sent her a knowing smile before getting out of the car. He pitched the trash in a nearby bin, and Hera was waiting outside when he returned.

"So, do you live far from here?" she asked.

His eyes lit up. "No, just on the other side of the highway. About 5 minutes.” Dropping his voice, he added, “Why do you ask?”

She put a finger to her lips and pretended to give it some thought. "As appealing as yet another night of studying by myself sounds, I can think of better ways to pass the time."

Kanan pumped his fist in front of his chest. “In your face, textbooks.”

She laughed and slid into the passenger seat, kicking her handbag by accident. It must have landed on the floor when she hurled it over the seat earlier.

He climbed into the driver’s seat and turned to her while he buckled up. Under the overhead lighting, his cheeks sported a slight flush. "So, you live on campus?"

"Yes," she replied, fastening her own belt. “Don't worry, I'll show you tomorrow."

The ignition didn't drown out his breathy laugh, and another little thrill rushed through her chest. Only a select few had ever seen this side of her, and only after several weeks of dating. It had been months since she had even gone on a proper date (not that this qualified).

"So, are you a freshman? Sophomore?" he asked, eyes on the road.

"Freshman. You?"

"Junior." He made a turn and looked her way. "How are you liking it so far?"

She answered him with a disgusted noise.

"Sorry to hear that." And he did sound sorry. Looking back to the road, he added, "I won't bring it up again, unless you want to talk about it."

Hera pursed her lips. She didn’t want to talk about it, but now that the knot in her gut had started to unwind, school didn't seem so bad. Kanan had come along at just the right time to scratch several of her itches, and she didn’t want to ruin the balance they had struck.

"No, it's fine. Just stressful.” The thought that she might be using him flashed through her mind, and she reminded herself that Kanan knew what this was. Plus, he didn’t seem to mind. "Believe me, you're helping."

This brought a smile back to his face. "Well then, anything else I can do, you just let me know." Yes, the arrangement suited them both just fine.

It was a welcome break from the hellish semester she was having. Any moment she wasn’t studying, doing homework, or tackling another class project, she was working in the library to keep the scholarships that paid for the endless schoolwork.

Sometimes she longed for the simplicity of last semester; she’d been busy, but there had been time to make friends and see them outside of class (group projects didn’t count).

Hera suppressed a sigh. It was her own fault for cramming too much into her schedule.

It was fine. Or it would be. She _liked_ school. But she hadn’t flown in weeks, let alone had time for a good night’s sleep or a proper meal. This week had treated her to two paper deadlines and three midterms, so when Chopper said _party_ , she couldn't drop her datapad fast enough.

Kanan’s eyes kept flicking in her direction, and she tried to put thoughts of school out of her mind.

"So, are you from around here?" she asked. The question wouldn't win her any points for creativity, but at least it was better than discussing the weather.

"Nope. Coruscant, actually.”

"Coruscant?" Her home province was a few hours south, but Coruscant was clear across the country. "How did you end up here?"

"I grew up all over," he replied with a shrug. "Been on my own for a while."

"Yeah, I know how that goes." The words slipped out before she could stop them, and she figured she might as well anticipate his next question. “I’m from Ryloth, but I haven’t lived there since I was little."

Part of her wondered just what else they had in common, but it wasn't fair to ask him questions she might not answer herself. Then again, maybe it wasn't the questions she feared but how easily the answers came.

They pulled into a parking lot and Kanan parked the car. Hera recognized the tan bricks and tall, narrow shrubs; she had come to this complex for a party last semester (the last party she had managed to attend). It was right after her 18th birthday, and she wondered if she and Kanan had crossed paths then.

No, she would have remembered him. The truth was she _had_ noticed him earlier tonight, but hadn’t decided what to do about it. She'd never admit it, but the realization that he had only approached her out of concern for his roommate was both impressive and a little disappointing.

He had gotten caught in the crossfire of all of her frustration, none of which had anything to do with him. She would have felt bad about being so hard on him had he not sent it right back. If the backseat was any indication, there were no hard feelings.

It didn't have to be serious; she had time for a little distraction.

 _And what a distraction he is_ , she thought, admiring his form as she followed him to his apartment.

The units were by no means luxurious, but they were much cleaner than the party houses by the dorms. There were students chatting, sipping beers, and smoking on their balconies, but it was calm.

Kanan led the way into his building and up to the second floor. He unlocked his door, holding it open for her with one hand and flicking on a light with the other.

The front room was cluttered with disassembled electronics, spare parts, and technical diagrams. It reminded her a bit of Chopper's room; he was always working on some robotics project or another.

"Are you Double E?" she asked as Kanan closed the door.

"Huh?”

“Electrical Engineering. Is that your major?” But from his reaction, she guessed it wasn't.

Kanan laughed, as if the thought was ridiculous. "Nope, that's Skelly's stuff. Sorry about the mess." As an afterthought, he added, "I don't think any of it is dangerous, at least not today."

"It's fine, I'm used to it." Nothing looked live, and Hera figured he must have been joking. "So what is your major?"

"Philosophy," he said, taking his boots off. Hera copied him, placing her flats by the doormat.

"Really?” She didn’t know what she expected, but she wouldn’t have guessed that. “That sounds interesting."

He shrugged. "Had to pick something."

Hera frowned but tried to withhold judgement. In a way, she envied his nonchalance, though there was a chance he was just being cagey.

She side-stepped an open computer case. "You don't like it?"

"No, I do. I just feel like I'll be living in a box after I graduate. After a while you start to think, _what's the point_?" He headed into the kitchen and she followed.

"Wow, that's pretty disillusioned for a junior," she said, taking a seat at the table. There was a collection of alcohol atop the fridge and she wondered if that, too, belonged to Skelly. It didn't bother her; she had spent enough time at school to know that many students drank.

"You'll get there someday," Kanan said with a half-hearted smile.

The silence that fell was less comfortable. Hera knew she wouldn't _get there_ , no matter how little sleep she got. Frowning, she wondered if she had sounded too judgmental. "Philosophy degrees can open a lot of doors."

Kanan shrugged. "I'll figure something out. Do you want something to drink? I mean water or tea or something."

"Water would be great, thanks."

He retrieved two bottles of water from the counter. "What's your major, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Mechanical Engineering," she replied. He shot her a lopsided grin.

"No wonder you're so good with your hands." With a wink, he took a seat across for her and rolled her a bottle.

She rolled her eyes and caught the water. "Oh, right, because Engineering is such a sexy discipline."

"Are you kidding me?" His voice went gravelly. "Fluid mechanics. Heat transfer. _Vibration_." Hera's eyes flicked to his lips.

The tone sent her thoughts back to the car. She pretended to consider his words before meeting his eyes once more.

"Well, when you put that way..."

His seductive smile softened.

"Seriously, that's cool." The skin around his eyes crinkled in the corners, and if the table were shorter, she could have reached across to touch his hand, or his cheek, or anything.

"Yeah, I like it." Her voice trailed off and a flutter of nerves rose in her stomach. For the first time that night, she felt self-conscious, and Kanan developed a sudden interest in a chip on the table.

Hera cracked open her water and took a long drink.

“I’m also in the Aviation Science program."

Kanan’s eyes widened as he looked back up at her. “You fly?”

She nodded, pride lifting her filter. “I got my pilot’s license before my driver’s license.”

“That’s, wow, that’s awesome." A grin spread across his face, and he ran his thumb and forefinger over his goatee. "So you don't want to be a pilot? It sounds like you could teach the classes."

She shrugged. "It's more of a hobby."

"Nice hobby!" Kanan pondered it for a moment. "Would you want to work for an aerospace company someday?"

Hera shook her head. "Well, I'm not against it, but I'd rather do some non-profit work first. I only picked up some classes so I'd get a chance to fly while I'm here." Not that she'd had time lately.

"Damn," he said, eyes still wide and jaw slack. "So what else do you do in those classes?"

"Oh, we study structure, maintenance, design." Hera frowned. "Or at least we would, if I could continue on. I'll probably have to drop it after next year."

"Why?"

"Well, I'll have to do my co-ops so I won't have time, unless I want to spend an extra three semesters at this place." Hera couldn't even remember the last time she had volunteered this much personal information.

He nearly spit out his water. "You plan that far ahead?"

"You don't?" But with everything he said, it didn't come as a surprise.

"I always just pick stuff when the catalog goes up. Isn't that what everyone does?"

She shook her head in response, laughing in spite of herself.

"Well, what do you do?" he wondered.

Hera scrunched her lips to one side. "You don't really want to talk about class scheduling, do you?"

"Why not? You're clearly an expert."

"Very smooth." Smirking, she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. There was no way he was serious. This was either an I-want-in-your-pants-again line or a joke.

Kanan put his palms up in defense. "Hey, I got stuck in a mind-numbing finance class last year, and I'd like to avoid that in the future."

So Hera explained the existence of college advisors (she had no idea how he had made it to his junior year without knowing) and curriculum checksheets. Somehow he also had no idea that the course catalog was not only always available, but that the schedule was usually planned out a semester ahead of time.

When the kitchen chairs got too uncomfortable, they ended up hunched over his phone on the couch, checking the philosophy major requirements on the university site. As it turned out, he had a varied background of coursework, but he was on track.

"I knew you were faking!" she cried, nudging his shoulder with her own.

"I swear I'm not. I'm just a lucky guesser!" He set his phone down on a cushion, turning toward her. "How else do you think I got this far?"

"In school or in life? Because I’m beginning to wonder," she said. He faked a pout and she laughed, giving his leg a reassuring pat. "I'm kidding. Obviously, you owe it all to good old fashioned hard work."

"Do I detect sarcasm?" That cocky smile was back, and he dropped his voice to add, "I am a _very_ hard worker."

She couldn't argue with that, and as she recalled, he was also a quick study. That smirk of his faded into something beautiful, and he reached for her face. Hera eliminated the space between the with a soft kiss, one that held none of the frenzy of their first. Warm, plush lips moved against hers, sending dull sparks through her belly.

They were content to take their time until his hands found her hips, guiding her as she moved to straddle his lap. Bringing him closer, she worked her hands around his back, running one up his spine to the base of his neck. With her lekku trapped between them, even little movements tingled, and memories of earlier that night came back to her. Kanan had shown great initiative on that front, but she wasn't about to let him win again.

Drawing back to free her head-tails, she refocused her attentions on his neck. He tilted his head to oblige her, rewarding her with soft moans. Smiling in triumph, she rolled her hips over his, relishing his ragged sigh.

Not to be outdone, he scooped her up from under her thighs. Hera gasped and clutched his shoulders as he stood up, bringing her with him.

"Well played," she said through short breaths.

His response was thick and raspy. "You up for round two?"

“I should be asking you.”

Kanan let out what sounded like a purr and she dove back in for the kill, lavishing his neck and shoulder with open kisses. With her legs secure around his waist, he carried her through the apartment.

When they reached their destination, she pulled back to meet his eyes as he lowered her onto the bed. Idle thoughts flooded her mind: _He makes his bed_. _He's strong as hell. He's good with his hands, good with his mouth..._

A gentle nip at her neck shook her into action. Craning her neck to claim his lips for another hungry kiss, she pulled out his ponytail and roamed his scalp with her fingertips. Dangling ends of his hair brushed against her face while his hands worked to explore the rest of her. As electrifying as their hurried encounter in his car had been, now that they had more privacy, Hera was going to tear his clothes off. She didn't care who "won" anymore; all that mattered was that this ache within her was--

A shrill tone rang out from Kanan's pocket.

He broke the kiss and froze. Hera let her head fall back against his mattress. _Just let it go to voicemail. Just throw your phone across the room. Burn it._

But Kanan inhaled sharply and shifted off of her. "I'm so sorry," he said with a wince. "If it were anyone else..."

He was breathless, his hair was mussed, his lips were red and swollen, and she had to tear her eyes away.

She managed to nod, and he crawled off the bed. With his back to her, he answered his phone.

"Hey, what is it?" Kanan did a decent job of masking his frustration, though he ran a rough, shaking hand through his hair. "No, no, I'm awake, it’s okay."

He glanced over his shoulder at her, still sprawled out on his bed. There was longing all over his face, but his expression fell and he walked out of the room.

Frowning, Hera sat up on his bed and took a deep breath. _Patience_ , she thought, squeezing her eyes shut. She had gone months without sex with zero issues, and now she couldn't last a couple of hours?

Kanan's voice was muffled in the hallway, and she tried not to let curiosity or suspicion overtake her. He had every right to a private conversation, and were it the other way around, she wouldn't want him listening either. The list of people she would have answered the phone for was short, but not blank.

She glanced around the room to occupy the time. _Sparse_ was the best word she could use to describe it. In one corner was a chair and a desk with only a datapad on it, and in the other was a cheap dresser. A few care products sat atop of the dresser, but there was nothing personal about them.

Hera wasn't sure if he was neat of if he just didn't own anything; he had mentioned moving around a lot, so maybe he just got tired of moving things.

The absence of any pictures or posters on the walls did strike her as a bit odd. Most of the people she met at school littered their walls until there was no wall left. Maybe the landlord was too strict?

Then again, she didn’t have much of a decorating scheme herself. Reminders, notes, jotted-down ideas, and pictures, just tacked to a posterboard. Kanan didn’t even seem to own a pen, at least not one she could see. But she wasn’t about to go rifling through drawers.

Hera put her back to the wall and leaned against it, letting out a sigh. For better or worse, her frustration had waned. No matter how it turned out, it had been a good night so far.

When Kanan reappeared at the door, he looked less hot and bothered but still flustered. Reaching up to scratch his neck, he took a long look at Hera.

"So, uh, do you want to go for a ride?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There just aren't enough stories that talk about used condom disposal, am I right? But seriously, safe sex is important.
> 
> I have at least 2 more chapters planned out, and for better or worse, the next one won't be so sex-driven.


	3. Another Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun first date ideas: auto repair, shuttle service, and winging it.

"So, uh, do you want to go for a ride?"

Kanan regretted his words as soon as they came out. Hera gave him a strange look and he slapped on a sheepish grin.

“That was kind of the idea,” she replied, one eyebrow arched high.

“Yeah, about that.” He coughed out a laugh. “I have to go. My friend's car won't start, and he needs my help. I’ll take you home first.”

What kind of idiot answered the phone with a gorgeous woman on his bed? _If it were anyone but Okadiah_... Well, he wouldn't be standing in the doorway right now. _Unless she’s into that pos--no. Stop. Focus._

He never imagined he’d find himself wishing he had time to meditate.

Hera scooted to the edge of the bed. "Is your friend far from here?"

"About 20 minutes. He owns a bar on Shaketown Drive."

“I’m familiar with the area,” said Hera with a nod.

Kanan barely registered her recognition. "He's just, well, he doesn't really have anyone else."

What else could he say to justify it? He wouldn't have blamed her for being mad or skeptical. Still, it shouldn’t have been so disappointing. It had been a couple of weeks since he had hooked up with anyone (at least, up until about two hours ago), but Kanan was never starved for affection.

Moreover, he and Hera had just met, and the night had already gone better than he could have imagined. It should have been easy to let go. Hera was beautiful, but to say he had been with plenty of pretty girls was no exaggeration. It wasn’t just her intelligence that had him, either; one of the few perks of going to university was that smart, attractive women were never in short supply (though he did try to avoid the ones he might see on a regular basis).

Kanan coasted by on whims; his empty childhood promise kept him in class, but it didn't push him to try.

Hera had direction. Even the whim that brought her to him today was probably part of her plan. And it wasn’t every day he met someone willing to stick their neck out for Skelly, let alone a tipsy, desperate Skelly.

_Well, at least it was fun while it lasted. Can’t ask for more than that, and it saves us from an awkward conversation later._

Hera stood up, bringing him out of his thoughts. "Want some company?"

Kanan blinked. He hadn’t even considered it. “You want to come with me?”

She shrugged. “I said I didn't have anything better to do. Maybe I can help.”

It would be a dull drive by himself, and she already knew the area. The fact that she wanted to tag along didn't have to mean anything, but she was much better company than his own frustration. And if there was anything that could be done for Okadiah's car, Kanan had a hunch Hera the engineer pilot could do it twice as fast with her eyes closed.

On top of that, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Okadiah wasn’t telling him everything, and an alert pair of eyes like Hera’s never hurt.

“Sure, come if you want.”

Hera’s lips curved up, and she followed him back to the door.

They made their way down to the parking lot, and Hera’s little laugh upon reaching his car was music to his ears. He followed her eyes to a large, dirty boot print on the inside of his back window, and he grinned. There was no way he was washing that off.

The car still carried a distinct aroma, which both boosted his pride and stirred up his frustrations. He rolled down the windows; if Okadiah needed a ride, it was going to be awkward enough without any lingering scents.

"So, Kanan: 2, textbooks: 0. I do like the sound of that," he said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"I wouldn't go bragging about that record to your friends."

Hearing her say _friends_ was strange. He only used the word for Skelly and Okadiah for lack of a better term, and he didn’t sit around chatting about his exploits with either of them. With Skelly, he would feel too guilty, and dishing with Okadiah would just be weird. Both of them knew more than enough already.

He let his mouth fall open in mock offense. "Why Hera, I would never kiss and tell." Tossing her a wink, he added, "But by all means, feel free to be as indiscreet as you like."

“How could I begin to keep this all to myself?” she wondered aloud, voice thick with sarcasm.

That stung a little, but he kept on smiling. "Hey, if you've got constructive criticism, lay it on me. In fact, you're more than welcome to show me later."

"That wasn't a dig at you. I've got no complaints." She chuckled. "It's just cute that you think my friends and I gab about boys all night.”

"Oh, I don't," he said. "But you know, in case it ever comes up."

He remembered Hera throwing her head back to laugh at whatever her friend Chopper said at the party, and he wondered what her other friends might be like. What did they do for fun? From the what little Hera had said about her own schedule, she didn't get many nights to relax, and yet here she was, spending the night with him.

But he didn't ask. Hera hadn't asked many questions, either. It was standard practice for one-night stands, even though he was curious about all the places she had lived and why she moved from Ryloth. He wondered how she got interested in flying, and how she felt when she flew. What made her want to become an engineer? What had made the week so rough?

But unless she volunteered that information, he'd remain in the dark. Kanan wasn't going to invade her privacy, and he wasn't about to chase her.

" _No complaints_ ," he repeated, shooting her a dubious look. It was an understatement and she knew it, but she just sent him a coy smile. He couldn't look too long at the lips that left his skin burning (and probably marked, he realized with amusement). She looked out the window and he focused on the road.

Once they reached the highway, Kanan rolled up the windows. _Hopefully that’s enough fresh air._

“So, is Skelly in engineering?" Hera asked once he had merged into traffic. "I haven't seen him around campus."

At least talking about Skelly was a good way to cool down. "No."

"Computer science?"

The guessing game could go on for a while, so he intervened. "Geology."

"Really? Interesting."

"He's got a lot of hobbies." Why she would be interested in Skelly, he had no idea, but then she posed another question.

"And what about you?"

Kanan bit the inside of his lip. He had vices, not hobbies, but at least she wanted to know about him.

"I work out," he said. That was safe, and it had to count for something.

"I should have known." One side of her mouth twitched and he couldn't tell if it was a compliment or a dig. She could have been referring to the way he carried her through his apartment, or she could have been calling him a meathead.

Given the choice, Kanan would take the compliment. "True, it does go without saying."

"But you said it anyway." Her light tone voice softened the blow, and she went on before he could reply. "So, any idea what’s going on with your friend’s car?”

It would have been a good idea to get that information before heading out. “Nope. He closed up the bar and his car wouldn’t start.”

“So, what's the plan?”

“Wing it? It’s been working well for me so far tonight.” Kanan smirked and glanced her way.

“Oh, I forgot,” she said, shaking her head. “That’s your approach to everything.”

"I stick with what works.”

Hera only hummed in response.

Okadiah was waiting in his van when they arrived. Once he saw them pull up, he got out and scratched his white beard. If Hera was surprised by the man's age, she didn’t show it.

“Oh my, did I interrupt something? Who’s this lovely lady?” Okadiah looked from Kanan to Hera as they walked up, and she extended a hand for him to shake.

“Hera,” she said with a polite smile.

"Okadiah Garson, at your service." He lifted her hand like he was going to kiss it.

"Pretty sure we're the ones providing the service," Kanan put in, though he was more bemused than annoyed.

"Right as usual." Okadiah gave Hera's hand a squeeze (but no kiss) and released it. "Sorry to disrupt your evening."

Kanan planted a hand on the hood of the van. “What happens when you start it?”

“Nothing happens. I checked a few things and I’m stumped.”

Hera walked around the van, eyebrows knitted. “Did someone tamper with the hood latch?”

“It’s been like that since he got it,” Kanan replied, lifting his hand. Hera pried the hood open and looked inside, lekku hanging behind her back. He moved to stand behind her, but she popped back up right away. He groaned when he saw what she found.

“Battery cables are cut,” she announced. “This car’s not going anywhere tonight.”

“Cut?” Okadiah’s eyes widened.

"I can see how you missed it,” she said. “Battery’s still here.”

Kanan frowned. “Maybe someone was planning on taking it and got spooked.”

“The terminals do look pretty corroded,” Hera added. “And did you know your left front tire’s a little low?”

“No…” Okadiah crouched with her and let out a sigh. "But now that you mention it...”

Kanan didn’t even have to look to know Hera was right. He put a hand to his forehead. “Did something happen tonight?”

The older man gave it some thought, then shook his head. “Nothing unusual. Probably just random. Wouldn't be the first time."

Kanan sighed. "Maybe, but I've got a bad feeling about this."

Hera rubbed her hands together. “Let's get the spare on while we talk."

“Well, you see, I don’t have one,” Okadiah said. Kanan closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Maybe there was something to having a plan.

“I have a patch kit, but I’m not sure how much good it’ll do since we have to tow the car anyway.” He looked to where Hera had been, but she was making her way to his car. She popped the trunk and when Kanan reached her, she was peering under the trunk liner.

Kanan arched a brow. “What’s mine is yours.”

“Wish I had my car. You’ve hardly got anything back here,” she mused, pulling out the small kit of tools he kept.

“But does yours have a roomier backseat?” Hera ignored him and turned around, eyes fixed on the bar. She tucked the kit under her arm and looked to Okadiah.

“Do you have some dish soap?” she asked him, nodding toward the building.

Okadiah’s response was slow. “Yes.”

Kanan was just as confused (at least he hoped that was why Okadiah hesitated; Kanan had just bought dish soap last week).

“May I use some?” Hera maintained her patience, and Okadiah nodded, leading her toward the door. Kanan locked his car and followed them inside.

They rounded the bar and Kanan sent the liquor bottles a longing glance, his hangover all but forgotten. Now that the night had turned, a drink sounded much more appealing. _If only I didn’t have to drive_.

Okadiah produced the bottle of soap from below the sink, and Hera grabbed a bucket and rag from below the bar. She passed the bucket to Kanan.

“Would you mind filling this?” Her request was so sweet that he complied without question. She added some soap from behind him and dunked the rag inside. Once the bubbles started forming, something clicked in Kanan’s head.

“To find holes,” he said to no one in particular. Hera nodded to him.

“Quick again, I see.” There was a glint in her eye, and she was the honey to his fly. The interaction didn’t go unnoticed.

“So, did you two know meet at school?” wheedled Okadiah as they left the bar.

“Something like that.” Hera offered a gracious smile. This was a different side of her, he realized; all business and niceties, though no less appealing.

“Kanan, you’ve been holding out on me! Why wouldn’t you tell me about such a spectacular woman?”

Hera’s eyes met Kanan’s and she winked. He raised his eyebrows, a bit of heat rising within him. _The sooner we finish this the better_. “I just couldn't find the words to describe her.”

Once outside, Kanan set to work on the tires without being told. Sure enough, there was a cut along the treads of the driver’s side front tire, but the others appeared to be okay. It didn’t look like an accident, but at least the stab hadn’t breached the side wall. It looked like another case of interrupted work, but he couldn't shake the feeling that tire slashing suggested a motive. Maybe Okadiah owed someone money, or maybe someone didn’t like the company he kept. The latter option turned Kanan's stomach.

Hera was crouched over the tire, Kanan’s plug kit in hand. “I think I can salvage it.”

He appreciated her quiet understanding that money was tight.

“Don’t you have a pump?” Kanan asked. Okadiah nodded and went to fetch it while Kanan retrieved the jack. He and Hera elevated the van, and Hera set about removing the wheel, leaving him no room to help.

His hunch was right; she worked fast. She sat the tire down on the ground in front of her and began to prepare the tire for the plug. Okadiah returned and handed him the portable pump.

“Hang onto this one, Kanan,” he said, pointing a Hera. She acted like she hadn’t heard him, and Kanan wasn't inclined to give the suggestion much thought.

He turned to Okadiah and lowered his voice. "Look, I've got some money. Let me get the tow."

"No need. I'll take care of it in the morning." Okadiah waved his hand to dismiss the idea, and Kanan groaned.

"Or whoever did this comes back and finishes the job. I owe you, anyway. I'm calling." Kanan made the arrangements without further protest. It wouldn't be cheap, but he got most of his drinks for free.

"If it's just battery cables, that's not a bad fix," Hera said, looking up at them. The smudge of dirt on her nose reawakened Kanan’s frustrations, but he pushed those thoughts aside. "All done. Pump?"

Kanan ran the pump from his car and started inflating the plugged tire.

"Don't worry, my dear," Okadiah assured her as they waited. "I'll get the cables taken care of."

"Does this happen often?" Hera pursed her lips. "This seems-"

"Personal." Kanan finished her sentence but avoided her gaze.

"Oh, I doubt that. I'll just put those security cameras I've been meaning to install."

"I'll bring Skelly and we'll do it tomorrow morning," said Kanan, detaching the pump. He lifted the tire and began to reattach it to the car.

Okadiah let out a pointed cough and tilted his head toward Hera. "Afternoon's fine. I'm not open until 4, and I'm sure you'll want to sleep in."

Hera didn't say anything, but Kanan caught her smile out of the corner of his eye. She was shoulder to shoulder with him, watching him tighten bolts.

"I’ll do that.” That charming lilt was back, but she nudged him out of the way with surprising force.

“Be my guest.” He relinquished the wrench with a chuckle and watched her tighten the bolts in a star pattern. _Come to think of it, that is the right way to do it_ , he thought.

Okadiah's elbow found its way into Kanan's ribs. "Have I mentioned I like her?"

“I gathered.” Kanan kept his eyes on Hera’s back.

“Haven’t seen you smile this much in a while.”

Kanan didn’t know what to think of that, so he gathered his tools and put them back in his trunk.

Once Hera had finished, she checked the tire again and sure enough, the leak was plugged. They lowered the car and put the jack and wrench away.

“Easy,” said Hera, brushing off her hands.

Kanan stood back to admire her handiwork. “What did I tell you? Winging it works just fine.”

“So does knowing what you’re doing.”

He shrugged. “Semantics.” He wrung out the rag and dumped the bucket, and Hera followed him back into the bar to finish cleaning up.

By the time Kanan locked up the bar, the tow truck driver had arrived.

Okadiah ended up riding with the tow truck driver to his preferred shop of ill repute, with Kanan and Hera following behind. Kanan was relieved to find his car smelled normal again. Once the van and key were dropped off, Okadiah got into the backseat.

“I still don’t like this,” Kanan said. “We’re installing those cameras tomorrow. I’ll pick you up at one o’clock even if I have to drag Skelly."

“Make it two thirty.” Okadiah smiled. “I’ve got plenty to do around the apartment.”

“And you're sure nothing strange has happened recently?" He hoped one more try would jog Okadiah's memory.

“So thoughtful,” Okadiah mused. He leaned forward, turning to Hera. “You could do worse than Kanan. He’s gotten me out of more than a few jams these past couple years.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Though Kanan was watching the road, he could feel Hera’s eyes on him.

“He speaks the truth,” Kanan said, glanced at Okadiah in the rear view mirror.  “But he didn’t answer my question.”

Okadiah shrugged. “Business as usual.”

It would have to be enough for the night. Kanan sighed. Maybe it was just a random incident.

Okadiah’s apartment wasn’t far, and they bid him goodnight with only minor winking and nudging on his part.

Once they were alone again, Kanan turned to Hera, hand on the gear shifter. "So, where to now?"

Despite their back and forth throughout the night, he half expected to take her home. It was nearing three in the morning.

“I think we were in the middle of something,” she replied. That alluring tone was back, and Kanan flashed her a smile. He supposed she was used to late nights of studying.

"I take it I’m still more enticing than homework?"

Hera tried to look patronizing, but there was fire behind her eyes. "You just want me to say it again."

"Hey, I want what you want," he replied, lowering his gaze to match her look.

"Then let's go finish what we started." She covered his hand with hers, skin soft and warm against his. The intimacy of the gesture startled him. Hera's eyes were wide, but she didn't move.

If she could follow her gut, so could he. He turned his hand over beneath hers and entwined their fingers.

“My thoughts exactly,” he said, running his thumb across the back of her hand. Transfixed, she stared at their clasped hands a moment longer, then looked up at him. The smirk was back, and Kanan almost let out a sigh of relief.

“Okay then, Heartbreaker, start driving or move over.”

He laughed and released her to grip the steering wheel. “You got it, Captain.”

Her smile lit up the night sky.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just smack me if that's not how you plug a tire. I read up on it so much that I think I could do it myself now.


	4. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera and Kanan play house before getting back to reality.

The room was still dark when Hera opened her eyes, but she didn’t need to see to know where she was. A smile spread across her face as she realized it was too early to get up. Kanan’s form was warm and solid against her back, and his slow, steady breaths kissed her neck. Careful not to disturb him, she adjusted her grip on the arm that he had draped over her and rolled back a fraction, letting his body support some of her weight. Kanan drew her into him but did not wake. _If I can just have a little longer like this..._ But the faithful rhythm of Kanan’s breathing was too strong, and she drifted off again.

The smell of bacon coaxed Hera out of her comfortable sleep. Stretching, she rolled over in the bed. Kanan's bed. She remembered falling asleep next to him-- _spooning_ , really--last night. Now, blank walls and clean sheets greeted her, but no Kanan.

 _Right. Bacon._ Her stomach let out a growl as she sat up. So Kanan could cook? At least, she hoped it was just him. It wasn't that she minded Skelly (from what little she knew about him), but if he came home, she'd have to go home, and it would be back to reality and all the homework that came with it. She wanted a little more time here first.

From the bright light peeking through the small gaps in his blinds, she gathered that the morning was already slipping away.

She retrieved her phone from where it was charging, surprised to find that was already after ten. This was early for a Saturday for most of her peers, but Hera hadn’t slept in since leaving Ryloth.

Most days, sleeping in felt like wasting time--there was always something else she could have been doing--but Kanan’s bed (his arms, if she was being honest with herself) had been so cozy. The rest was well-earned. Her shift at the library started at two o’clock, but she wasn't going to think about that now. It was hard to feel guilty about shirking her responsibilities with loose muscles and a light heart.

There was a mirror on the back of his door, the only modification to the room, and Hera took a quick peek.

 _Oh, Kanan is not getting this shirt back._ It was soft, comfortable, and it didn’t look half bad. His shoulders were broader than hers, but the fabric was cut to hug his lithe physique.

The athletic shorts he could keep. She cinched the drawstring so as not to expose herself at breakfast and made her way through the hallway.

After a quick stop in the bathroom, she found Kanan in the kitchen holding a carafe. Bacon sizzled in a skillet on the stove, and the sweet scent of waffles mingled with the bacon.

"Thought I heard you get up." The smile on his face was somewhere between cocky and smitten. "Caf?"

"Yes, please," she replied, approaching the counter. Kanan poured her a mug, and she added a touch of milk. "It smells amazing. I can't remember the last time I ate something other than a protein bar in the morning."

He wrinkled his nose. "I can't remember the last time I ate a protein bar. Are waffles and bacon okay? I can do omelettes if you prefer.”

Options for breakfast were like a foreign language to Hera, and she shook her head. “Oh no, this is wonderful.”

The coffee was bliss, though anything would have tasted better than the instant swill she normally drank. Inhaling the toasty aroma once more, she closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened her eyes, Kanan was smiling at her, but he turned back to the stove as soon as she caught him. Her heart pounded a little harder and she downed a scalding gulp, trying not to notice how good his shoulders looked in his undershirt.

“Slept well?” His voice was cool and even, as if he had been flipping bacon the whole time.

"Very," she said, matching his tone. "Your bed is much more comfortable than those ancient mattresses in the dorms."

Kanan sent her a look over his shoulder, one eyebrow arched. "I did my time in the dorms. My couch is more comfortable than those mattresses."

"Come on, I’m setting you up here." A smirk played on her lips and Kanan perked up.

He sauntered towards her, bacon captured in his tongs, and leaned over the counter. That practiced smouldering gaze, the one that was bound to visit her dreams in the nights to come, was fixed on her. "In that case, what I meant was you're welcome to share my bed any time you want."

The playful glint in his eyes said he was only joking, but she was game. She licked her lips and watched with gratification as his eyes followed her tongue.

"Keep making me breakfast and I'll move in with you."

Eyes flicking back up to hers, he set a plate in front of her without looking down. "I'll break the news to Skelly this morning."

"He can stay until he finds a new place," she went on. She leaned in closer, coffee breath be damned.

"You're so charitable." He spoke in little more than a whisper now. The position was familiar, though far more amicable than at the party last night.

"And you're stingy.” She snatched the bacon from his tongs and took a bite right in front of his face.

Kanan laughed, and the waffle iron beeped. He turned to remove the waffle and start another, speaking over his shoulder. "I'm onto you, Captain."

With a triumphant smile, she polished off the bacon strip. Crispy but not too dark, with just a hint of pepper. Fantasy life with Kanan definitely had its perks, and it was so ridiculous that she couldn't help but indulge it.

A waffle landed on her plate, along with more bacon. Kanan set out an array of condiments and topped off her coffee before piling bacon on his own plate.

Once she had the butter and syrup to her liking, she carried her plate to the table. Kanan refilled his own caf and followed. Without the cover of the counter, she noted that his loose lounge pants rode low on his hips, revealing a strip of tan flesh. She tore her eyes back up to his face too late. He didn't say anything, but with that little smirk, he didn't need to.

 _Might not hurt to take a good, long look, because you’re never going to see him again._ The fleeting thought stung more than it should have. It was one thing to joke about living together, but neither had broached the subject of exchanging contact information. That was a good thing.

Hera didn’t want to have to tell him that it was a one-time thing, that she was done with boyfriends and drama for the near future. She probably wouldn’t have to; Kanan didn’t seem like the boyfriend type. Bringing it up would have killed the mood, but stashing contraceptives in the glove compartment was a good indication that last night was not the first time his car had seen some action. That didn’t bother her--it was convenient.

It was better this way. If they ended this on a high note, it could be a perfect memory, something to smile back on when school seemed like too much.

And he had more hobbies than he first let on. Kanan got up to retrieve a waffle for himself.

"Where'd you learn to cook?" she asked, once he sat back down.

He chewed for a moment, swallowing before he spoke. "Did some short order cooking a couple years back. It’s not a big deal." But Hera could hardly boil water.

"Jack of all trades," she said. "Just not changing tires."

"Hey, one of my talents just happens to be deferring to experts when the situation calls for it." He grinned, and she’d have to commit that to memory, too.

“That's not really a talent."

"But you know what they say: it's not what you know, it's who,” he said, as if that explained everything. “See, it’s a good thing we met.”

“Still not a talent.” She pointed her fork at him. “That’s luck.”

He sat back in his chair, stretching his arms out. “We’ve been over this: luck _is_ one of my talents.”

A comfortable silence fell over the room as they finished eating, as if they did this every morning. Hera set down her utensils and downed the last sip of her coffee.

Kanan gathered their dishes and took them to the kitchen. The clock in her head ticked louder and she ignored it.

“Breakfast was delicious.”

“Any time.” With a scoff, he added, “Protein bars.” He started filling the sink with water and added a squirt of dish soap. “There are towels in the bathroom closet in case you’d like to take a shower without flip-flops. Though you’re more than welcome to watch me wash do the dishes.”

Ogling his back for a few minutes was tempting, but so was a shower. She wasn’t squeamish, but the shower floors in her dorm were questionable. Skelly may have cluttered the apartment, but Kanan kept it clean, and she had a hunch the shower would be pristine.

“Actually, that does sound pretty good.”

“It’s all yours,” he replied, dunking their plates and utensils into the soapy water. “Tap’s self-explanatory, but holler if you need anything.”

On her way back to his room, she realized he said it without a trace of innuendo. She retrieved her clothes from Kanan’s floor and headed to the bathroom.

She took a towel from the neat stack in the closet, set it on the counter, and started the shower. She had forgotten how nice it felt like to bathe without the water temperature fluctuating between scalding and ice cold.

_Calm down, Hera. Enjoy it while it lasts, but don’t make it more than it is._

Hera was in, out, and dried in four minutes. Clean underwear would have been nice, but she’d get by until she got back to her room. She slipped Kanan’s shirt over her dress, knotting it at one side, and draped his shorts and towel over her arm.

“Where should I put this stuff?” she asked, walking back into the kitchen. Kanan looked up from the pan he was drying and gave her outfit a once-over. If his smile was any indication, he didn’t object to her claiming his shirt.

“You can hang the towel up on the hook on the bathroom door,” he said, setting his pan and towel in the dish strainer. “And I’ll take these.” He pulled the shorts from her arm and led her back through the hall. After hanging the towel to dry, she met him in his room.

He dropped the shorts into a laundry basket in his tidy, mostly empty closet, then grabbed some clean clothes from his dresser.

“Since you’re done, do you mind if I shower, too? I can take you back first if--”

“It’s fine,” Hera said, cutting him off. “I mean, I’ve got time if you do.”

Kanan smiled, calling over his shoulder as he left, “Make yourself at home, I’ll just be a minute.”

Taking a cue from him, she remade his bed. Her own bed was a jumble of blankets she more or less napped on, but she took care to pull his blankets flat, even retucking his sheets. Then, she sat on the bed and played with her phone, fighting the urge to check her email and her schedule. It was almost eleven thirty.

Kanan's shower wasn't as quick as hers. Hera was only vaguely familiar with human hair care rituals, but she did know that they took time. The water stopped after her third game of mobile sabacc (she'd have to thank Chopper for putting the app on her phone later). It was good timing on his part, because she was running out of freeplay tokens and she wasn’t about to shell out real credits.

A few bad hands later, he reappeared in the doorway, wearing jeans and a fresh shirt. But it wasn’t his clothes that caught Hera’s eye, it was his hair. Both times she had untied his ponytail the night before, he had fixed it immediately after they finished. He even slept with his hair tied back. Now, it hung damp and loose around his face, and there was a flutter in her chest.

“You left me hot water **and** you made my bed?” He tossed his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and turned back to her with a grin. “That’s it. Skelly’s out, you’re in.”

“Don’t get used to it. I’m just being a good guest.” An image of the dirty cups lining her desk popped up in her mind and she shook her head. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew how messy I really am.

“I’d be willing to test that theory.” For the first time, she got the feeling he wasn’t joking. Silence hung in the air between them until he covered up with a laugh, and Hera let out the breath she had been holding.

Taking a comb from his dresser, Kanan fixed his hair in the mirror while Hera rose to her feet. She balled up her phone charger and stood. They both knew what was coming next; it was just a matter of admitting it.

“I should be getting back,” she said once he finished. Kanan nodded.

“Right. And I’ve got cameras to install.”

“Of course. Say hello to Okadiah for me.” She tried not to imagine the disappointed look on the older man’s face when he learned that she and Kanan would not be eloping.

“I will.”

He followed her out to the main room, and they put their shoes on in silence. If she got back to her dorm by noon, she could get a little reading done for her Materials class before work.

Every time Hera thought of small talk, she stopped herself, and Kanan let out a couple half-sighs he probably thought she couldn’t hear.

Once she had everything, she faced him at the door.

 _What do I even say to him, and why is this so hard?_ “Goodbye” wasn’t appropriate because they still had a quick car ride back to her place. “Thanks” just seemed too transactional.

The answer was, of course, right in front of her. Surging forward, she grabbed either side of his face and kissed him.

Despite the force of her kiss, he met her eagerly, pulling her close as if he had been waiting for this all morning. His fingertips traced tender lines on her back, and her hands moved to his neck, tempted to free his hair once more.

It was all too brief. She drew back to breathe in the soft skin where his neck met his shoulder; she smelled a bit like that, too, now.

 _Stop making this out to be some great love affair when all you did was blow off some steam,_ she chided herself as they broke apart. Half a day was enough of a vacation, and it was time to step back into her comfort zone.

Kanan led the way to his car, and she tried not to think about the night before. Along with her reading, she had a few long problems for Calc II and a page of Physics exercises. That was a hard enough punch of reality to shatter the illusion.

Neither spoke until they were close to campus.

“So, which building is yours?” Kanan asked.

“Oh.” She forgot that she hadn’t told him. “Jhothal.”

Kanan nodded and turned down one of the streets that led to the university. He pulled into a metered spot and turned off his car. She wasn’t sure whether to invite him in or just say goodbye, but her eyes bugged when he pulled out his phone. Was he going to ask for her number? And would she be able to resist giving it to him?

She rehearsed a gentle rejection in her head, but the question never came. He was texting away, unperturbed.

“Might as well see if Skelly’s up, since I’m here. Maybe I can catch him before he tries to walk home,” he said to himself. He set his phone down on the center console and turned to her. “Well, Hera, it has been a true pleasure.”

Clearly, he wasn’t going to lose sleep over it. She offered him a warm smile and got out of the car. “Maybe I’ll see you around.”

“I hope so.” He winked and she shook her head in bemusement, shutting the door behind her. Empty words on both sides.

 _It really couldn’t have gone any better_ , she told herself as she made her way up to her dorm. _The perfect mid-semester break._

She nearly collided with her roommate in the hallway outside their room.

“Hi, Rae,” said Hera, fishing around in her bag for her keys. Rae’s dark hair was tucked into a pageboy cap, and she had her school bag.

“Oh, you’re back.” Her eyes flicked down to take in Hera’s outfit. “I was just leaving.”

“See you later, then.” But Rae stood and watched as Hera searched.

“Physics grades went up this morning.” Rae’s voice was casual, but Hera stifled a sigh.

“Did they?” The keys were definitely in there somewhere--there!

“I figured you would have already checked.”

She pulled out her keychain and smiled at her roommate. “No, but I’ll definitely have a look.”

Rae waited a moment longer, as if Hera was going to check then and here, before humoring her with a half-smile. She hitched up her bag on her shoulder and continued walking. “Well, I’m going to meet my study group. We’ll catch up later.”

“Sure,” Hera replied, pushing the door open.

As roommates went, Rae wasn’t bad, even if all she meant by _catch up_ was _compare grades._ They weren’t exactly friends, but Hera didn’t mind the friendly competition. It was good for both of their GPAs.

The row of dirty cups still lined her desk, just like she pictured. Rae might have declared Hera her academic rival, but between the two of them, Hera was the worse roommate. Maybe some of the occasional animosity was justified. A pang of guilt hit her stomach as she stacked the cups and dropped them in the trash.

She dug through her drawers for some acceptable work clothes. It was laundry time _again._ After changing, she scooped up the dirty clothes from the floor and heaved them into her overflowing basket. Kanan’s shirt she reserved, untying it and folding it neatly on the bed. It stood out against the backdrop of tangled covers and mismatched socks--she made a mental note to wash those later, too.

Hera repacked her bag and left for the library to study before her shift, just like she did every Saturday afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Kanan being neat as a pin in contrast to his messy life, whereas Hera has her life together but thrives in organized chaos.
> 
> Shout out to space waffles! Waffles > toast.


	5. Overthinking It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan is not good at coping.

Kanan couldn't remember a better evening. He was so busy replaying conversations from last night, he didn't even mind Skelly’s hungover groans as they waited at the auto shop with Okadiah. Of course, there were steamier things to recall, but it wasn’t the time nor the place. Besides, Kanan wasn’t used to having so much other material to work with. He had never spent so much time talking to a date, if he could call Hera that. 

He followed Skelly’s mumbled instructions with a smile on his face as he installed the new security cams, and he even stopped whistling when Skelly told him to knock it off.

How was her day going? Was it right back to homework, or would she make time to fly?

Was she thinking of him at all?

Concerns about Okadiah hung in the back of his mind, but it was hard to be worried when he was walking on air.

His good mood lasted right on through Sunday, even motivating him to write a paper for his Ethics class a full week ahead of the deadline.

_Hera would be so proud. I should tell her._

But his smile faded as he realized he couldn’t tell her. No number, no email, just a last name and an amazing night. Maybe he could find her online.

He stopped himself from reaching for his datapad. It seemed like a violation of her privacy, not to mention their implied agreement. Besides, what was the point? They had both gotten what they wanted from each other, and that was all there was to it.

Yes, talking to Hera all night had been great, but that was just because his last couple girlfriends had been annoying. It was only one night, anyway. Given enough time, everyone wore out their welcome, and he would undoubtedly get sick of Hera, too. Besides, he and Hera hadn't gotten together to  talk . He was thinking about the night all wrong. 

And yet, when he tried to think of her as just a good lay, a sick feeling stopped him like a punch in the gut. It wasn’t that she was bad; she was amazing. He could still picture her above him in the backseat with her dress hiked up around her hips. The thought sent shivers up his back, and no one had made that much of an impression on him in a long time.

He was sure she would be done with him after that, and it had taken every drop of his self-control to contain his excitement when she said she still wanted to go home with him. He couldn’t believe his luck; a brilliant, gorgeous woman who liked to relieve stress the same way he did? 

But once the stress was released (and it took a couple of runs to get it all out, but by the Force, they got there), he should have started the mental countdown. 

The truth was that they were incompatible. Kanan could see it from her point of view. He was fine for a one-night stand, but he just wasn't Hera's type. She needed some intellectual--a future leader, or at least someone who could keep up with her. 

And Kanan? He didn't have a type. That wasn’t about to change. 

She didn’t seem all that concerned with finding someone, anyway. Now there was some common ground.

He shook his head. None of this was worth thinking about.

At least getting his homework done early left plenty of time for drinking.

*

“Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t get her number,” Kanan mumbled, cheek to the bartop. “Because I am dying to text her right now and make an ass out of myself.”

Skelly shook his head. “Even I know better than to drunk text, man.”

“Wait.” Kanan’s voice was heavy as he peeled his face from the bar, but his brilliant idea was worth the effort. “You know her friend. You can give her my number!”

“No, I don’t know her friend,” Skelly replied, frowning. “Nothing happened, remember?"

"To be honest with you, Skel, I barely remember my own name right now, but I remember you got a number!" It was the first time in 3 years, after all.

Skelly’s eyes widened. "You're going to ask me to call him so he can give his friend your number? That makes us both sound like idiots."

"I'm desperate!” Kanan cried, smacking the bartop.

“Gently, now!” came Okadiah’s cheerful voice from across the bar.

“Sorry,” mumbled Kanan.

“Besides, desperate is  my  thing,” Skelly protested. “You can’t take my thing.” 

That knocked some sense into him.

“Oh, shit, you’re right. What is happening to me?” He pushed himself off of the stool and trudged around the bar. Standing over the sink, he turned the cold on full blast and splashed water on his face. He let out a shuddering yell; the water was so cold it almost hurt, but on the bright side, texting Hera didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

“Better?” Skelly asked. 

Kanan nodded and headed back into the kitchen. Food would help, too. With only a few missteps, he managed to make passable tacos for himself, Okadiah, and Skelly. 

“Dinner’s on!” he called, feeling less groggy. There were no customers to ignore, and the three of them polished off the plate.

“Have you cooked for your lady friend yet?” asked Okadiah. 

"Who, Hera?" Kanan asked, as if he hadn't spent the whole weekend thinking about her.

Okadiah saw right through him. “You might catch her eye with sweet talk and good looks, but if you cook for her, now she's got a reason to stay." He grinned. “Food is the key to eternal happiness.”

Kanan shook his head. "Sometimes waffles are just waffles. It's over and done." He tried to look proud, but Okadiah just shook his head. 

"Shame. I've never seen you look at anyone quite like you looked at her." He looked wistful for a moment and Kanan's face faltered. Was he that transparent? Okadiah rubbed his hands together. "Well, I'm sure it's not too late! You have to go bigger than waffles for a girl like that."

"I'm not worried about it.” Kanan stretched his arms high over his head, then linked his hands behind his neck. “Waffles have served me pretty well in the past.”

Okadiah eyed him skeptically, but he didn’t press the issue. He glanced around the empty bar. “Well, I think I’m going to pack it up for tonight. How about I drop you both off?”

It was probably for the best. It was almost midnight, so Kanan still had a chance to sleep it off for an eleven o’clock class. He washed and dried the dishes, then wiped down the bar. Leaving his car in the lot overnight didn’t thrill him, but at least it would be a chance to test the new lights and cameras. 

Once they got home, Skelly set about tinkering with another computer, but Kanan just brushed his teeth, chugged some water, and changed for bed.

After what seemed like hours, he was still staring at the ceiling, thinking about a girl. What had the world come to?

But maybe it was a sign that he had Hera on the brain, and maybe Okadiah had a point.

Then again, what did Okadiah know about  eternal happiness? Okay, he  _was_ always happy…

Kanan would give it a week. If he was still stewing, he’d convince Skelly to get his number to Hera’s friend. More likely than not, he’d be over it. 

Kanan let out a grunt, ripped the elastic out of his hair, and rolled over onto his stomach. Something he drank must not have agreed with him. 

Maybe the real lesson here was that he needed to cut back on drinking, stop chasing girls, and start focusing on school. Graduation didn’t seem so far away anymore, and once the scholarships ran out, he wouldn’t be able to stay.

Not that he wanted to. It was time to move on.

In desperation, he dusted off his long-dormant focus and cleared his mind of all thoughts. Even Hera was easy to push out. Meditation used to bring him peace, but now he only used it to forget, like a sleeping pill to get him through the night. 

He fell into a hollow, dreamless sleep, and when his alarm beeped in the morning, nothing had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I've had Dragon Age on the brain. Another chapter coming very soon.


	6. Scheduled Downtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera gets her priorities in order.

“Hey, Hera! Mind some company?” A youthful voice broke Hera’s concentration, and she looked up to see the vivid head of her friend Sabine poking out over a stack of ancient books.

“Of course not,” Hera said with a smile. “I’ve only got a couple minutes before work, though.”

“That’s okay. I’m just glad I caught you.” Sabine grinned back and lowered the pile of books to the table before taking the seat across from Hera.

“Some light reading today?”

“Translating, actually. My linguistics professor just acquired these Hapan historical treatises and she knew just who to call.” Sabine eyed the books hungrily. She may not have looked a day older than her 16 years, but she attacked her schoolwork with a ferocious delight that Hera didn’t even see from most graduate students, and Sabine was technically still in high school.

“That’s exciting!” Hera offered an encouraging nod.

“I can’t wait to get started. What are you working on?”

“Oh, just some calculus before my shift starts. No groundbreaking research here,” Hera replied, looking down at her half-finished work. She was grateful for the interruption. Hera switched off the screen and put her datapad away. It was time for work, anyhow.

“But you like math.” Sabine frowned. “Something wrong?”

Hera shook her head quickly. Sabine didn’t have to know why she was distracted. She thought to mention spring break to change the subject, but Sabine’s home life didn’t make long breaks something to look forward to.

“It’s been a long semester, that’s all. Too much to do,” Hera said. “Speaking of, how did your painting turn out?”

Sabine brightened, sitting up just a little straighter. “Great! Thanks for asking. I think I really captured the mood I was going for. It’s hanging in the gallery, if you’d like to see the finished product some time.”

“Sabine, that’s fantastic! I’ll swing by and see it after I get off of work at 6. Will you be around? Maybe we can get dinner after.”

Sabine smiled. “Sounds good. And then I’ll let you get back to your, you know, math problems.”

“Ha.” Hera humored her friend’s bad joke, then stood up. “Well, duty calls. Good luck with translating.”

“Don’t need it,” Sabine replied, cracking open one of the giant books.

Hera grinned back, but the grin was gone once she trudged off to the back room and stashed her things in her locker.

It was ridiculous. Focusing was never a problem for her—and it wasn’t going to become one—but even after a week, Kanan kept creeping into her thoughts. It happened at weird, trivial times; when she ate her morning protein bar, she could picture him cringing. When she slipped on her shower flip flops, she recalled his clean bathroom.

The one that shook her happened on Monday, when she finally got a chance to fly again. The rush of endorphins always cleared her head, but this time, that exhilarating rush also brought about the fleeting urge to tell him about it.

 _He would be so excited for me_ , she had thought. Maybe it was true, maybe it wasn’t, but the notion would not leave her.

 _Give it more time. It’ll pass._ And it didn’t interfere with her school work. She was still just behind Rae in Physics and Calculus, she still didn’t have much time to see her friends, and she still hadn’t gotten a chance to do laundry.

But this meant she was still wearing his shirt to sleep. She didn’t think too hard about that one.

And that was to say nothing of the dreams. She had expected the salacious dreams, but some of them were downright tame, even domestic. Studying while Kanan cooked dinner, or laughing at a movie from his couch. Getting new tires for Okadiah in Kanan’s car.

_I wonder who’s keeping Kanan’s backseat warm this weekend…_

That thought she shot down immediately. Maybe all it meant was that she was lonelier than she thought.

Vowing to spend more time with her friends, she pinned on her nametag and headed out to the floor. She hadn’t been a good friend to Chopper lately. The few texts she had exchanged with him had been about assignments, and even the conversation with Sabine hadn’t broken her streak of scholastic conversation.

What she needed right now was some good old-fashioned book sorting, and she headed to the circulation cart. Despite her job, Hera rarely cracked open an actual book, but ancient, obscure texts were always popping in and out on loan from other libraries. Even though she didn’t delight in them like Sabine, she did like seeing them.

Shelving books was the perfect chance to zone out, and Hera lost herself in the process until a head of fiery red hair popped up in biographies.

"Don't you know better than to avoid me? It doesn’t work."

The voice startled her, but she didn’t let it show.

"Chop, I'm on the clock. And I'm not avoiding you," Hera said, not looking up from the book she held. Chopper rounded the corner.

"I know, but as hard as you are to track down, you might as well be." He snatched the book from her hands and filed in in the proper place.

Hera looked up at him and crossed her arms. “All right, you found me. What is it?”

Chopper heaved a sigh, drawing a piece of paper from his pocket. “I’m supposed to ask you if you want Kanan Jarrus’s number.”

Her eyes went wide, and though she made to grab another book, her hand found only air. She tried to regain her cool. “You must be joking. Does this mean that thing with Skelly is still going on?”

“You mean that thing where we both passed out drunk in my dorm? Nothing happened. Dodged a bullet, too, because he’s a few bricks shy of a load, you know?” Hera frowned at his unkind words, but Chopper was undeterred. “We’re hanging out on Monday.”

“Huh?” Hera’s brow shot up in confusion.

Chopper shrugged. “Figured he was good to have around. You never know. And you’re not off the hook. Do you want this or not?” Her eyes followed as he waved the strip of paper in the air.

The warm feeling that bubbled up in her stomach was just flattery. _So I’m the only one thinking about that weekend_. Of course it felt good to know that. It didn’t mean anything. “Nope.”

“Oh, good.” Chopper snorted a laugh, crumpling the paper and chucking it across the library. It landed on a student’s open book, and the student frowned. Hera and Chopper ducked behind a shelf as the student glanced around. When the student shrugged and threw the paper in the trash, Hera sighed in relief and Chopper cackled.

Hera narrowed her eyes at Chopper. “What was that for?” she hissed.

“What, did you want it?”

 _Maybe a little_. “No, but you’re going to get me in trouble.”

“Whatever, they love you here.” Chopper’s eyes glinted and he grinned in that evil way that made Hera nervous. “I’ll break the news to Kanan myself.”

She sent him a stern look. “Just tell him I’m flattered but not interested.”

“Oh, he can take it. From what I heard, he’ll be back to his old habits in no time.”

Hera didn’t want to know what those old habits were, but she had some good guesses. He could do what he wanted with whomever he wanted, and she would put him out of her mind.

“Are you free on Sunday?” asked Hera, beyond ready for a new topic. “I’ve got a few hours if you want to go get lunch.”

“Why, you need a wingman again?”

“Funny,” she muttered, putting away another book. “I’d like a friend, Chop. Sorry I haven’t been a good one lately.”

He elbowed her arm, a playful smirk on his face. “Oh, you’re forgiven. I’ll meet you at your dorm on Sunday. Like 12:30?”

Hera nodded, and bid Chopper goodbye. She was feeling better already.

She got back in the zone and spent the rest of her shift shelving. After dinner with Sabine, she finished her homework at the laundromat, and then she had new clothes to sleep in.

That week, she spent more time with her friends more than she had all year. She and Rae set a new record, eating breakfast together every day without one word about school. When spring break rolled around, Hera almost felt like a normal college student (even if she had to schedule her downtime).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enter Sabine, and the return of human!Chopper! I wanted to highlight the differences between Hera and Kanan's life skills.


	7. Going Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A human and a twi'lek walk into a club...

This spring break would go down as Kanan’s driest to date. It was probably Skelly’s wildest; he had tagged along with the Geology Club to the ocean and he still wasn’t back. Kanan was tempted to go along if only to mind Skelly, but he figured the Geology Club couldn’t get into that much trouble.

Instead, he spent his nights tending Okadiah’s bar and looking for internships. _Internships_.

The Lothal Environmental Action Committee was looking for volunteers for water studies, but that left him with no money. Tons of local firms were looking for data entry interns, but numbers put him to sleep. There were opportunities outside the area, too. Legal work in Alderaan sounded easy, but looking wasn’t the same as applying.

School was easy. Maybe he could even convince someone somewhere to pay him to get a master’s degree. The thought made him chuckle.

Aside from Okadiah, Kanan had no ties to sever, no friends to leave behind. Three years in one place had him itching to get out, see new things, and more importantly, meet new people. Maybe he just wanted to leave everyone behind.

But who would change Okadiah’s kegs? Who would lock up when he forgot? Who would drop everything to pick him up in the middle of the night?

Okadiah was a grown man. He could take care of himself just as well as Kanan. Which, these days, was not very well. Kanan had eaten cereal and beans all week. At least he’d been too busy to get drunk.

But once his scholarship ran out, he’d have to make some sort of a living, and it seemed like a waste to go underground again with a degree.

One thing was certain: the future gave him a headache.

 _Is this Hera’s doing_?

He tried so hard not to think about her, but he had never struck out quite so spectacularly. If he had, it had never bothered him so much before.

Was she the reason he was even considering non-profits? Investigating _graduate schools_? Because he thought it would impress her?

That was ridiculous. She may have planted the seed (he snickered at the expression; really, it was closer to the other way around) but he didn’t care what she thought.

He raked a hand through his hair. _No_. He didn’t care at all. And that was enough job hunting.

Kanan was going out.

Showered, hair pulled back, and clothes changed, Kanan sat at the bar, beer in hand. This bar was trendier than Okadiah’s—packed with fellow students looking for one last hurrah before classes resumed.

There were plenty of cute girls, but no one stood out.

Not that he was looking for anything in particular.

He sighed. The blonde making eyes at him from the corner wasn’t a bad choice. He met her eyes and flashed a smile. She came in for the kill.

“All by yourself?” she crooned, taking the seat next to him.

“Not anymore.” He forced a wink.

“Don’t mind the company? I’ve been watching you, and you look a little...unfriendly.”

Kanan put a hand to his chest. “Me? I’m _very_ friendly.” He set down his beer and widened his smile. “Just waiting for the right friend.” _Still waiting_.

“I’m flattered.” She sipped her cocktail and sighed. “You’re the only interesting guy here.”

 _Because I’m the only guy who isn’t making a complete drunken ass of himself?_ “Interesting? I thought I was unfriendly.” It was an easy game to play. The blonde put a finger to her lips.

“Mysterious, then,” she said with a smirk. “So, mystery man, what say we get out of here?” Kanan played it cool, leaning back against the bar. He wasn’t in the mood for such a quick exchange, but before he could back out, she went on. “My girls are at the club across the street. Wanna come?”

 _Can’t be worse than here_. “Lead the way.”

She polished off her martini and Kanan left his half-empty beer at the bar.

\---

Going out with Chopper and the rest of her lab team had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that Hera was at the dark, grungy club, she felt out of place.

It wasn’t Ahsoka’s scene, either, but Ahsoka could blend in anywhere. Hera could if she had to, but the pounding music was hard to tune out.

Maybe the fact that everyone else was drinking was the problem.

Hera had declined Chopper’s offer to get her a fake ID, even though it meant she’d have to spend extra time in the shower the next morning scrubbing the thick, black Xs off of her hands.

Now Chop was off dancing with some guy, beer in hand.

Ahsoka, Zeb, and the rest of the team were dancing in a circle away from the speakers. Ahsoka caught Hera’s eye and smiled, waving her over.

It did look more welcoming than the corner. With an inward sigh, Hera nodded and headed over to the circle. She shouldn’t have come out at all, but since she was already here, she could try to have fun.

“What were you hiding over there for?” asked Zeb.

“I don’t go out much. I’m not really much of a dancer.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place,” said Ahsoka with a laugh.

They danced to a few songs, though Hera was sure she looked ridiculous. Her friends didn’t seem to care, so neither did she. Even songs she hated seemed all right when she had friends to dance with.

“Over here, Kanan! These are my friends.”

Hera whipped around at the sound, lekku going rigid. A blonde girl was dragging Kanan behind her, but his shoulders were slumped and his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

She almost laughed. This was his scene, not hers, and yet she was the one having fun while he looked miserable. But part of her felt bad for him.

Ahsoka frowned when Hera ducked behind her. “Everything okay?” she asked, glancing at Kanan and his company. Ahsoka’s eyes lingered on Kanan, but Hera didn’t want to give her the wrong idea. He hadn’t done anything, and she was starting to blush. Too much dancing.

“Just fine. I’m going to get some soda,” she said, waving Ahsoka off with an easy smile.

When she got to the bar, Chopper pulled up beside her. “Running away from Kanan? Thought you were past all that.”

“I am,” she replied, signaling the bartender. She ordered her soda and looked straight ahead. Kanan’s bad mood was none of her business. She didn’t want it to be her business.

So why was she hiding at the bar, fighting the urge to go cheer him up?

“Yeah, could have fooled me,” said Chopper, setting his empty bottle on the bar. “You’re not actually jealous, are you?”

“Definitely not.” And that wasn’t a lie.

Maybe if he was actually enjoying his dance, she’d feel a little jealous. Even then, she would have just dismissed it. But after weeks of barely giving Kanan a second thought, all that was stirring was an all too pleasant fondness in her chest.

That was why she had retreated to the bar. She didn’t want anyone, especially not him, seeing the way he affected her. Not after she had essentially rejected him.

Chopper had said something about Kanan being thrown off his game, but here he was, surrounded by girls. Still, she had a hunch that if she were the one dancing with Kanan, there wouldn’t be so much space between them. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

Except Kanan would never be able to keep those steady hands to himself. His bright blue eyes would be focused on her, not determinedly on the ceiling. His mouth wouldn't be set in a thin line, either. It would be open and hot on her neck…

No. She wasn't going to let this get out of hand again. Maybe it was the adrenaline of dancing with her friends, the lull in homework, or the knowledge that classes would consume her life again soon, but she wasn't thinking clearly.

“Hey, we’re thinking of heading next door for drinks,” said Ahsoka, shaking Hera out of her haze. “Want me to call you a ride home first?”

Hera blinked a few times, then shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’ll hang out here a bit longer.”

“You sure?” asked Zeb.

Hera was about to protest when Chopper cut in. “That guy owes me a dance,” he said, pointing at someone on the floor. “So I’m not leaving yet. I’ll hang with Hera.” He finished with an obnoxious wink and Hera shook her head in bemusement.

“Thanks for inviting us out,” she said to Ahsoka. “See you on Tuesday.”

“Have fun,” Ahsoka replied. “You’ve worked hard. I think you’ve both earned a little break.”

They bid the rest of the group farewell. Chopper turned to Hera, looking so pleased with himself he might burst. “You’re welcome.”

“Oh, go dance,” she muttered. With a salute, he headed back out to the floor.

Hera took a long drink of cola and snuck a glance at Kanan. His frown was deep set and his eyes were narrowed, barely going through the motions with the girl dancing in front of him. If he had noticed Hera, he either didn’t care or he was good at hiding it.

Maybe she could help him with his current predicament, and maybe she could figure some things out.

She downed the rest of her cola and stood, ignoring Chopper’s smug look from across the room. Kanan’s eyes went wide when she strode up to him.

Hera folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Am I interrupting something?” On the off chance that he didn’t want to be saved, she kept her words vague. The ball was in his court.

“Hera!” His eyes lit up with gratitude and he took a step toward her. “I was just thinking about you.”

_Interesting._

The blonde turned around, her lip curled in annoyance. “You could have just said you had a girlfriend,” she said. She rolled her eyes and sauntered off with her friends. It didn’t take them long to find open arms.

Kanan watched them leave, smiling for the first time since he walked in. “So, what brings you here? Just in the mood for a daring rescue?”

“Celebrating our research project getting approved.” She started to gesture to the rest of the club before she remembered that it was just her and Chopper now. “The grad students just took off for drinks.”

“Oh, you mentioned a project before.” His smile didn’t fade. “Congratulations! Though I can’t say I’m surprised.”

He really had been listening to her that night, and even after the phone number fiasco, he seemed genuinely happy for her. Maybe what happened between them wasn’t that big of a deal. And now that he was so close, she couldn’t resist leaning in.

“Care to join me in a celebratory dance?”

His eyes went wide, but he played it off with a smirk. “And here I didn’t think—”

“Don’t think. Not right now.” She held out her hand, pulling him toward her when he took it.

“Aye, Captain,” he said, taking her by the waist. “Missed me bad, huh?”

“You'd like that, wouldn't you?” She wrapped an arm around his lower back. “I’ve been too busy.” But she couldn't stop herself from smiling when he drew her closer, his lips hovering over her ear.

“You wouldn't believe what I've been up to.”

“Trying to convince yourself that you’ve still got it?” she countered, fighting off the pleasant shivers with a deep breath. “How's that working out for you?”

“I'll just leave it up to your imagination.” He winked at her, squashing her attempt at a power play. “Let your jealous mind run wild.”

Dejected “dancing” with random girls didn't send her mind reeling at all. She wouldn't have cared if he _had_ spent his spring break getting drunk and getting laid, but she had a feeling he was putting on a show.

“Let’s see. I'm picturing you at home, alone, cleaning…”

He raised an eyebrow. “Interesting. And what am I wearing in this little fantasy of yours?” he asked, one hand shifting to grasp her hip. It didn’t remind her of anything, and that tingle was completely unrelated to his movements.

She pretended to give it some thought. “Something you don’t mind getting dirty.”

“I’m _always_ ready to get dirty, Hera.”

It was too easy, but the joke, his smirk, her name, his voice… She laughed, leaning in so her face brushed his. Maybe she had missed him a little.

“Touché.” She twisted a lock from his ponytail around her finger. “Enlighten me, then. What were you really doing all week?”

“Didn’t think you were interested,” he said. His shrug was a little reminder that she probably had hurt his feelings. He could play it off, but she had rejected his gesture. An unpleasant knot began to twist in her stomach, and she pulled him flush against her to stifle it.

“I’m interested,” she said. “I may be busy, but you made an impression.” She punctuated her words with a roll of her hips.

He caught her rhythm instantly, giving her yet another flashback. Whatever he wanted to say died on his lips, losing out to the music and the heat building between them.

It didn't matter, not with his fingers pressed into her hips and his chest rising and falling against hers. They could talk later, without the distractions of sweet friction and a pounding beat. They _would_ talk later.

Gentle fingertips at the back of his neck softened the uncertainty in his hazy, heavy-lidded eyes. It was almost too much, looking at him like that, but if she tore her eyes away they would surely land on his lips.

The idea merited exploration, just not in the middle of a club. But the longer they danced, the more salacious (and tempting) her ideas became. She ran a finger down the skin behind his ear, nudging his head to the side.

“Want to take this somewhere quieter?”

Kanan’s lips brushed her cheek as he spoke. “Got some more frustration to work out? Because I’m game.”

She frowned. He wanted more than that, but he was going to pretend like he didn’t care. That made it harder to figure out what she wanted from their relationship, whatever it was. Guilt was not what she wanted to feel right now.

“I thought we could talk.” She pulled back and he was quiet. Whether he was keeping up appearances or being avoidant, she couldn’t be sure. “Among other things.”

“All right. I’m in,” he said. “Where’s this quiet place?”

She hadn’t thought it out that far yet. Last time, she had commandeered his apartment, so it was her turn to host. Luckily, Rae wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. “Feel like a walk?”

He eyed her skeptically before easing into a smile. “You know I'll follow you anywhere.”

That line sent her heart fluttering, even if she couldn’t be sure how sincere it was. Club be damned, she pulled him in for a slow, deep kiss. Right away, he matched her pace, remembering what she liked as if it were second nature. It had to be a coincidence, or his experience.

She broke off the kiss before she lost her breath, feeling a burst of satisfaction when Kanan leaned in after her. A slow smile spread on his face and her cheeks were warm—it was hot in the club. “Let me just tell Chopper we’re heading out.”

“No need,” said Kanan, nodding to someone behind her. Hera turned around to see Chopper waving and wearing a smug smirk. She shook her head but waved back. Chopper was going to lord this over her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me in Kanera hell. Next time: the return of Sabine, and the plot.


	8. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera and Kanan catch up, and it's just like old times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to play loose and fast with canon, so please accept this PG13 shower scene to make up for it.

The day had taken him from deliberately not thinking about Hera to dancing with her to kissing her and now, he was walking with her.

Hera was smiling, head high and cheeks slightly flushed. Kanan almost stopped mid-step at the sight. No wonder he couldn’t manage to feign interest in anyone else tonight (or for the past few weeks, if he was being honest).

“How’s your break going?” he asked.

“Oh, all right. Most of my friends went home for the week, and so did my roommate. But I got some cleaning done.”

She sounded very proud of this and he smirked. Hera seemed so organized; he could hardly imagine her keeping a messy room. He didn’t mind either way, but the prospect of finding out had his heart beating faster.

“And what were _you_ wearing when you were all alone, cleaning your dorm?” He could barely get the line out with a straight face.

Hera laughed, wrinkling her nose. “Do you have a cleaning fetish or something?”

“No, I just like flirting with you.” And that was the truth. Hera had no response, but she didn’t stop smiling. He smoothed a hand over the top of his head. “Been going out much?”

“Just tonight. It’s not really my thing, but the rest of the group wanted to celebrate.” She shrugged. “It was fun.”

“I’m not dragging you away, am I?” he asked, suddenly feeling guilty at separating her from her friends.

She shook her head. “We already had dinner before the club. They were just going drinking for the rest of the night.” Her phone buzzed and she took a peek. “Chop’s already met up with them, so he’ll be fine.”

 _Thank goodness for that,_ he thought with a silent laugh. Just so long as Hera wasn't missing out. “So, tell me more about this project. It’s you two and a bunch of graduate students? Impressive.”

Hera smiled. “Not just us. My friend Sabine does our designs, and she’s only 16—she left after dinner. But we’re working on improving drone technology to deploy medical supplies to remote areas. Chopper does the robotics, and I’m in charge of electronics.”

He whistled. “Extremely impressive. How'd you get involved in this?”

“That'd be Ahsoka. She leads the project, but she was my TA in physics last semester and she asked me to join the team.”

“Ahsoka Tano?” _She was at the club tonight?_ Her name came up from time to time but Kanan had managed to avoid her so far. If Ahsoka knew about him, she didn't seek him out. Like him, she didn't seem to want to be found.

Hera smiled. “That’s the one. Do you know her?”

“Not really.” Kanan scratched his chin. “Skelly had a class with her a couple years ago.” Hera didn’t seem to notice the lie, and he brushed aside the guilt. Hera was special, but she didn't need to know everything about his past.

“So, are you going to enlighten me on your mysterious spring break activities?” she asked.

Kanan smirked and rubbed at the back of his neck. “You’re going to laugh at me, but I’m looking into internships.” For once, the future was a safer topic.

Hera’s eyes went wide but she didn’t laugh. “Really? That’s a great idea.”

“Hey!” he said in feigned protest. “No need to sound so surprised.”

“Well, you’re the one who said you were just going to wing it.” She bumped her shoulder against his.

He smiled at her. “That’s still my long term plan. Maybe I just want to expand my options.”

“Smart,” she said with a nod. “What kind of internships?”

He scratched his chin. That was the question. “I don’t know. I just need to get out, you know? Can’t hang around here forever.”

It was almost like a test, he was ashamed to admit, and Hera’s smile twitched. Did she _want_ him to hang around?

“Of course. I’m sure you’ll find something.” Her eyes lit up again and he felt a little better. “You could try the career center! My roommate Rae works there, and she says the counselors are very thorough. They have a 96% placement rate.”

“I’ll check it out,” Kanan said. His voice sounded distant to his own ears. It didn’t matter if he stayed or not; he wasn’t leaving tonight. They had made it all the way to campus, and he followed Hera across the street to the Jhothal dormitory. “Do I finally get to see your room? I never got to see it last time.”

“It’s better you didn’t. Rae was home and it was a wreck—not that those things are related.” She nodded toward the deserted parking area. “It should be nice and quiet tonight.”

“Great for talking,” Kanan replied.

Hera hummed in agreement, letting her fingers brush his side. His skin still tingled as she led him through the passage. “Did you ever live in the dorms?”

“Freshman year. Not this one. Slept in it a few times before, though.”

She raised a brow; it was exactly how it sounded, but he didn’t elaborate. He followed her to what must have been her door, and Hera spent the next full minute fishing around in her bag for her keys. The state of her purse should have been his first clue.

If this was clean, Kanan hated to think what her room looked like messy. He couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t _dirty_ , just cluttered. There was no need to ask which side was Hera’s. The wall on that side was coated with notes, sketches, and photographs. Technical diagrams and checklists littered her desk, and the bed was only half-heartedly made.

His freshman roommate had left empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, and dirty underwear everywhere, so this was nothing.

Some of the photographs must have been from high school; young Hera with friends, suited up for flight, and with a beautiful woman who must have been her mother. His own bare walls came to mind, but he couldn’t think of a single memory he wanted to admire (except maybe his night with Hera).

“So you hang your homework?” he asked, pointing at a cluster of half-finished schematics.

“I have a system. Believe me, everything gets finished and turned in on time. Those are just for fun.” She took her shoes off and placed her bag on her desk chair. Kanan removed his shoes as she sat down on her bed.

“Maybe I should try your system. I usually end up finishing my assignments the night before.” _Or 10 minutes before class_.

“You couldn’t handle my system. I saw your closet, Kanan. Everything in neat little rows.” She gave an exaggerated shudder.

“I didn’t hear any complaints about my pristine shower,” he replied. She closed her eyes and sighed, as if remembering it fondly. Now it was his turn to shiver.

Hera looked at the spot next to her on the bed and then up to him, eyes bright and inviting. Kanan strode over without a second thought and sat next to her. She slid closer, close enough that her hip was warm against his.

“So why were you out tonight?” she asked. “You looked miserable.”

“Am I that transparent?” He chuckled as Hera smirked at him. “Just felt cooped up at home, I guess. Thought some fresh air might help.” Or fresh company.

“Skelly getting on your nerves?”

Kanan shook his head. “Gone for break. No explosions for days. The silence was getting creepy.”

“What about Okadiah? No more incidents?”

Did she still worry about him? “Nothing major,” he said. Hera knitted her brows at this, and he decided not to mention that it seemed like someone was casing the bar. _Probably shouldn't mention the outside security I hired, either._ Kanan touched her hand. “The cameras seem to be doing the trick.”

Hera raised an eyebrow, but all she said was, “Glad to hear it.”

She was onto him, but she still linked a few fingers through his.

“I’ve been tending the bar, keeping an eye on things. Okadiah’s fine.”

She leaned her head against him. “I'm sure you'll let me know if there's anything I can do.” He wove their hands together and nodded, running his thumb over her skin.

Kanan couldn't remember sitting with anyone like this, ever. It should have scared him more than it did, but her hand fit so well in his and the bend of his neck was made for her head. She wasn't prying with Okadiah—that was genuine concern. And she saw right through his cover up with Ahsoka, but she didn't push. Maybe she thought they dated. Nothing could be further from the truth, but Hera didn't even seem to care about the scandalous parts of his past.

It should have been terrifying, but just when his thoughts were spiraling out of control, Hera was tilting her chin, he was looking down into her eyes, and they were kissing again.

These were innocent and sweet like first kisses, and it took Hera’s free hand grasping at his chest to snap him out of the butterflies. She urged him onto his back, falling with him as he pulled her closer, desperate not to break contact.

Eventually, they had to part so he could get his legs on the bed and she could stretch out on top of him. He shoved a pillow out of the way and tasted her neck because he still remembered the noise she made last time, and her her sigh now was even better.

Kanan ran his hands down her back, fingers brushing the skin at her sides just under the hem of her shirt. She dragged her body down his and her shirt rode up a little higher. It would slip off easily, but he stopped moving when her hands covered his.

“I have a better idea,” she said in a thick voice. When she drew back, she was flushed and breathless. “If you're interested.”

He could listen to that voice forever. “That's a safe bet.”

She propped herself up and showed him the back of one of her hands, bearing the telltale “X” of an underage clubgoer. “Know any tricks for getting these off?”

Was that really what she was thinking about _now_? He tried not to let his disappointment show. Whatever she wanted was fine with him. “Rubbing alcohol?” he offered. Hera laughed, still huskier than normal.

“Not quite what I had in mind.” She ran the back of her hand over his face, over his chin, to his neck. “I was just going to scrub them off in the shower tomorrow, but seeing as the dorm’s deserted, I thought you might want to join me tonight.”

Oh _. Oh_. A slow smile spread on his face. “I think I know just the thing.”

She pulled him out of bed and gathered her key, towels, and a bottle of soap. “You have protection?”

“I like to be prepared.” He followed her in a daze, both of them glancing over their shoulders for RAs or busybodies. The coast was clear in the bathroom, and Kanan laughed. “Been a while since I've been in the girls’ showers.”

Hera draped her towels over the rack in one of the stalls. “Mm, Kanan, you say the most romantic things.”

“Right. Sorry.” He almost added that he didn't remember the girl’s name but thought better of it.

She shook her head and laughed, beckoning him into the stall. He pulled the curtain behind him and they undressed, too giddy to be self-conscious.

They had seen everything before but not under bright lights, and once they were done, the bathroom was oppressively silent. He had spent plenty of time naked with strangers but this was _Hera_. The Force only knew how badly he wanted her to like what she saw—not that his physique had ever gotten a negative response before.

Kanan made a point of keeping his eyes on her face. She looked him up and down and he flexed under her gaze. Hera grinned, tracing the line down the center of his abdomen before slipping into the stall.

“I'm going to turn on the water. You can look, too, you know.”

“Didn't want to assume,” he said.

She fussed with the knob to try and regulate the temperature—another point in favor of his shower. “And I didn't realize you could show restraint.”

Warm water hit his shoulders when he stepped in after her, and he looked.

Looking was even better than he remembered, too. Hera gazed back at him for a few dizzying moments before pulling him to her to pick up where they left off.

It was bliss, the two of them and all the water and soap and heat. Even the occasional blasts of cold water were easy to ignore with Hera in his arms. Nothing could have torn him away except for a loud creak from the bathroom door. Hera froze but Kanan reacted.

Her jaw dropped—maybe he shouldn't have scaled the stall.

A voice shifted the tension away from them. “Everything okay in here?”

He didn't remember being loud, but he was so distracted that nothing would have surprised him.

“Just fine,” called Hera, sounding surprisingly put together. She mouthed the letters _RA_ to him.

“All right…” said the intruder. After what felt like minutes of Kanan bracing the walls and trying not to slip or breathe, the door creaked again and Hera checked for feet.

“She's gone.”

Kanan let out his breath and dropped down.

One of Hera's eyebrows was arched high. “Guess you have done this before.”

“Uh...yeah.” Better to let her think this was old hat than tell her the truth about his reflexes.

She continued to stare up at him, looking more skeptical by the second, and he feigned innocence. There was no way even razor-sharp Hera could have figured out the truth behind his reflexes.

Was there?

But he never found out what she was going to say because when she opened her mouth to speak, the water went ice cold. Both of them jumped back with stifled swears. It didn't seem like it going to get warm again. Next time (and he so hoped there would be a next time), it would have to be Kanan’s shower.

They both started to laugh and Hera turned off the water. “Why don't we go back to my room?”

“Deal.” Kanan handed her the first towel. “Did you at least have fun?” he asked.

She winked at him as he began to dry himself off. “I'm still having fun.”

It was never really about the ink on her hands, anyhow.

They made it back to Hera's room without detection, and once they finally managed to finish what they started, they were half-dressed and lying side by side in her bed.

Hera twirled her fingers in Kanan’s damp hair; it was going to dry wavy, but he found it hard to care.

“Why did you rescue me tonight? This can't be the whole reason.” He kept his voice low and soft. Both of them were almost too tall for the bed, but he didn't mind the close quarters.

She turned toward him. “Someone had to save you from yourself, and it certainly wasn't going to be Chopper.”

Not really an answer, but he laughed. “He was enjoying my suffering, wasn't he?”

“No.” Her reply was too quick and Kanan shot her an expectant look. “Maybe a little. But I felt bad for you. And,” she took a deep breath, “maybe I wanted to see you again.”

He covered his relief with a smirk. “I knew you couldn't stay away.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don't let it go to your head.”

“I wouldn't dream of it.” He stretched his arms out and folded them behind his head—a bit of a feat in the small bed. It was too late for modesty, but he could try honesty. He met her eyes, bright green even in the dark. “I missed you, too.”

Hera shifted her lekku out and laid her head on his chest. “Well, everyone already knew that.” She poked his ribs with a gentle finger and he laughed at the sensation.

“Now who's got a big head?”

“I'm just stating facts here,” she said, stifling a yawn.

He wrapped an arm around her back and planted a kiss against her forehead. Would she reject him again after this? Schoolwork was looming and she'd be busy, and she could do so much better. But she nuzzled against his side and it was enough for tonight. “Good night, Hera.”

“Sweet dreams.”

At this point, sweet dreams were guaranteed.

Before he could close his eyes, Hera's phone started to vibrate on her nightstand.

 _Deja vu,_ thought Kanan. When the phone didn't stop, Hera turned in his arms to check it.

She stiffened as she read, and Kanan moved his arm out of the way. “Is something wrong?”

“Maybe. I…I need to make a call.”

Kanan had never heard fear in her voice before. He sat up and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I can step out if you want.”

But Hera was already calling. She sat up and shook her head at Kanan, which he took as a cue to stay. “Sabine? What's going on?”

“Hera. Thanks for answering. I wouldn’t bother you this late if it wasn’t important.” Sabine’s voice was loud enough for Kanan to hear but so fast he could hardly understand her. “It's this kid from the academy. An annoying kid, really, but he never came home, and I think something happened to him.”

“Wait, who?” Hera pushed back the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

“Ezra. I think someone took him. He's…” The line went silent for a moment. “Can you meet me at my studio? I’ll explain there.”

“Of course.” Hera unplugged her phone and slid out of bed. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine. Thanks, Hera.”

“I'll see you soon.” She fished her shirt off of the floor and threw it on over her tank top. Kanan was already dressed by the time she was buttoning her jeans. She looked at him, but her mind was already running scenarios miles from her bedroom. “You coming?”

“Might be able to help,” he said. Hera nodded.

“It sounds like Sabine needs all the help she can get.” She grabbed her purse and stepped into her shoes. Kanan followed her out the door.

The stakes were higher than they had been with Okadiah. Whoever this Ezra was, he could be in real trouble, and Kanan couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to be involved.

“Thank goodness she didn't text sooner,” Hera said grimly. “I'm not sure I would have answered.”

“Please. I'm good, but I'm not _that_ good.”

As he followed her determined footsteps to her car, Kanan knew without a doubt that she would have picked up her phone. He knew it as sure as he knew he would follow Hera anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once when I was taking a shower in college, I dropped my shampoo and saw two pairs of feet in the next stall over, so that was my inspiration. It also seemed like a goofy way to do a nice Force tease for Kanan. This thing finally found its plot...20,000 words later.


	9. Under Her Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sabine asks Hera and Kanan for help, but Kanan's not talking. Well, he's not talking much.

Hera barely spoke on the way to Sabine’s studio. Nothing ever rattled Sabine, and hearing her sound so shaken had Hera’s heart racing. Sabine had mentioned Ezra maybe once or twice, but only that he was a new kid in the boarding school who bothered her whenever she wasn't at the university.

At least Sabine was safe, comfortable in her studio. Hera had found her asleep on a worn armchair in the bowels of the art building more than once. Next year, Sabine could move into campus housing and be out of the academy for good, but until she was a full time college student, a few nights a week was the best she could do.

Kanan was a calm presence at Hera’s side. He didn’t even know Sabine and he was ready to follow her at a moment’s notice. He didn't even look tired.

Maybe there were advantages to having him around. He made her laugh, he listened, and he was willing to drop everything to help people—help _her—_ just because. There had to be more to it than the obvious. Hera hadn't been with many others, but the look in his eyes when they were together told her it was new to him, too.

 _Focus, Hera._ She took a deep breath and adjusted her grip on the steering wheel. She was not about to lose herself in some guy and forget what really mattered. She _would_ have picked up the phone, even halfway through, but that didn’t mean Kanan was just a distraction. Besides, she was willing to wager that he could put his reflexes to better use than dodging nosy RAs.

Sabine's studio was deserted even during the busiest days of the school year, which was just how Sabine liked it. It was perfect for a secret meeting, though Hera wasn't sure what was so secret that it couldn't be discussed over the phone. If Kanan was curious, he didn't ask.

She stopped the car in the lot, almost forgetting to put it in park before she got out. Kanan followed her to the door and she knocked, pulse still racing. No answer. Just as she pulled her phone out to text Sabine, the door creaked open to reveal a sliver of Sabine.

“Thanks for—” Sabine's eyes landed on Kanan. “Who are you?”

Hera’s heart jumped. “I'm so sorry, Sabine, I should have told you. This is my…” What was the right word? “Kanan.”

Sabine raised an eyebrow. “Your Kanan?” Sabine could read between the lines, and on a normal day, she probably would have laughed her head off about this.  

Hera didn't have to look behind her to know Kanan was smirking. She resisted stomping on his foot to remind him of the gravity of the situation, but Kanan’s voice was serious when he spoke.

“I'm Hera’s friend. I want to help.”

A trace of guilt flashed across Sabine’s face. “Did I interrupt a date?”

“No.” There was no point in pretending he was her 1 AM study buddy, but hooking up at a bar definitely didn't count as a date. “Kanan owes me a favor and he's quick on his feet. He can wait outside if you’d prefer.”

Sabine’s shoulders relaxed a little. “I’ll take all the help I can get.” She beckoned them inside and shut the door behind them. “It’s Ezra. From school. I haven’t seen him since yesterday. No one at school has. I know it hasn’t been that long, but last week, he told me he thinks someone's watching him.”

Kanan twitched next to Hera. “Watching him?” she asked.

Sabine nodded. “Following him. At first, I thought he was just bragging—he does that all the time—but he seemed really shaken. And then one of his teachers told me he didn't show up at school today.”

“What about his friends, did they know anything?” Hera asked.

“He doesn't have any,” said Sabine. “When I got back to the dormitory, he wasn't there, and no one had seen him. His phone goes to voicemail and he won't answer texts. He _always_ answers texts.” Her voice got quiet. “I think they took him.”

Hera shook her head in confusion. “Who took him?”

“He didn’t tell me how he knew, but he did tell me who was following him.” Sabine’s eyes darted from Kanan back to Hera, and when she finally spoke, her voice was quiet. “It was the ISB.”

The Imperial Security Bureau. Hera’s father fought them off of the local council in Ryloth when she was little. She had heard about small ISB small cells in Lothal, even a headquarters downtown, but couldn't imagine what they would want with a teenager.

“Sabine, did Ezra ever do anything…” Kanan trailed off. His brows were low over focused eyes, as if he knew more about the ISB than Hera did.

Sabine nodded slowly, and Hera looked from one of them to the other. She was missing something. Kanan shot a nervous glance in her direction as Sabine spoke.

“Like I said, he bragged a lot. It got on my nerves, but I felt bad for him.” She swallowed. “Turns out he could do some pretty incredible things.”

Kanan sighed. “Things that definitely interested the ISB.”

Sabine nodded, but Hera was lost.

“Catch me up here,” said Hera. She didn't want to interrupt, but before tonight, she thought the ISB was only interested in political power. “What could he do?”

“He can make these ridiculous jumps like some kind of human Lothcat, and he's _fast_ ,” said Sabine. “I'm hoping he ran.”

Hera’s mind jumped back to Kanan’s maneuver in the shower, but she brushed it aside. “But why would the ISB be interested in some kid?”

“I don’t think he's just a kid, Hera.” Sabine let out a breath before going on. “I think he's a Jedi.”

Her words hung heavy in the room, but when Hera looked to Kanan, his face was unreadable. Whatever he was feeling, he wasn’t surprised.

Hera shook her head rapidly. She only knew the Jedi from the exciting bedtime stories her father used to tell. She never had any reason to doubt those tales, but they were in the distant past. Some people even thought the Jedi were just legends or exaggerated depictions of ancient war heroes. “But the Jedi were eliminated centuries ago.”

“And the ISB will do anything to keep it that way,” Kanan said. His eyes were dark.

What was he talking about? The ISB was out there, but even they couldn't be worried about ancient history.

Sabine nodded. “I've been researching it online all night. People report Jedi sightings all the time, and no one comes right out and says it, but the ISB is never far behind. I thought it was just coincidence, but the things I've seen Ezra do…” She let out a sigh. “The thing is, it's hard to find anything unofficial about the ISB. The moment someone tries to pin something on them, the case goes silent. I don’t know what to do.”

“You hope your friend is as good as you say he is and drop it,” said Kanan. Hera snapped her head to glare at him, but he just frowned back. “I know what happens to people who go digging into the ISB, and it’s not pretty.”

“So you’re suggesting we just give up?” Hera demanded. Her anger drowned or any nagging curiosity about how he knew so much. “There is a life at stake.”

“And if you go after this kid, you’ll risk all our lives. Take my advice and lay low.”

His voice was cold, and Hera narrowed her eyes. Of course her altruistic fantasy of Kanan was too good to be true. His motives were far more worldly. Then again, her own motives regarding Kanan weren’t exactly innocent. He didn't owe her anything, and she shouldn't have been so disappointed.

Sabine’s cool voice broke her thoughts. “Look, Kanan, I can’t blame you for not wanting to get involved. I asked for Hera’s help, not yours. But if you know something, anything about the ISB that could help us, please tell us.”

She had a good point. There was no reason to write Kanan off when he could at least be useful. And maybe he had a reason for not wanting to get involved. The way he talked, it was almost like he had been in Ezra’s position before.

“Sounds like a reasonable compromise,” she said, crossing her arms.

Kanan’s mouth dropped open. “What, so you two can go get yourselves killed?”

“But you do know something,” Hera said. She took a step toward him and tried to soften her tone. “Tell us, and you can go. You and I part ways, no hard feelings.”

He met her in the middle, chest to chest like the first time they met. “Or what? Do you really think you can keep me here?”

“No.” She straightened her back to come closer to his height and he pulled back a fraction. “You’re right. I can’t. Sabine and I are perfectly capable of chasing this up without you.”

Kanan squeezed his eyes shut and exhaled through his nose. “Listen to me. You can’t win this one.” He turned away from Hera. “I’m sorry about your friend, Sabine, but there’s no way this ends well.”

“Then walk away.” Hera waved a hand to the side. “We won’t tell anyone how much you know about the ISB,” and going out on a limb, she added, “and the Jedi.”

Something flickered in Kanan’s eyes, but it was gone before she could place it. He had nothing to say, but he didn’t move.

A deep buzz on the table by Sabine’s easel broke the silence, and all of them turned to Sabine’s phone.

The caller ID was blocked, and Sabine said what they were all thinking. “What if it’s Ezra?”

“Pick it up,” said Hera with a nod.

Sabine grabbed her phone and took a deep breath. “Hello?” Her feigned calm disappeared when the caller spoke. “Ezra! Are you okay? Where are you?”

Hera could barely make out Ezra’s voice, and she and Kanan both leaned closer to Sabine.

“I’m fine, for now,” said Ezra. “I’m with an old friend. But I was right. I don’t know why, but they're after me.”

Some of the color drained from Kanan’s face.

“I know. Is there anything I can do to help?” asked Sabine.

“Why, do you miss me?” Ezra sounded so much like Kanan that Hera almost rolled her eyes. Sabine didn’t respond, and he seemed to take the hint. “Right. Tell Trayvis my great aunt died and I’m staying with my great uncle or something.”

Sabine winced. It was a weak cover, but it was something. “Okay, then what’s your plan?”

“Lay low as long as I can and hope they stop sniffing around?” He was trying to sound tough, but Hera could hear a quiver in his voice.

“They won’t,” muttered Kanan.

“I don’t think that’s going to work. And how do I know someone’s not holding a gun to your head?” asked Sabine. It was a fair question—not that Ezra could give a straight answer if there was.

“Come on, Sabine. It’s _me_. Do you think I’d let that happen?”

Hera rubbed her forehead. Even Kanan didn’t try that hard.

“Fine, fine, I’m convinced.” Sabine shook her head. “Just keep in touch if you can, and don’t do anything stupid while we come up with a better plan.”

“Me? Do something stupid? Please,” said Ezra with a laugh that was almost convincing. Sabine closed her eyes in exasperation. “Hello? Sabine? You still there?”

Now that she knew he was safe, her patience had run out. “Yeah.”

“I promise I’ll be careful.” He hung up and Sabine sighed.

“Well, I guess he’s okay for now,” she said. “Sorry to call you out for nothing.”

Hera frowned. “This isn’t nothing. He’s still in danger, and it sounds like he has no clue what he’s gotten himself into.” She stood in front of Sabine to push Kanan out of the loop, but she spoke softly. “Are you sure that he’s a Jedi, and that’s why the ISB wants him? You have to admit it's hard to believe.”

“I know what I saw,” Sabine said, leaving no room for argument. “It makes just as much sense as any other ridiculous theory I’ve come up with.”

Kanan grunted and Hera glanced at him over her shoulder. “I thought you didn’t want to get involved,” she said.

He shrugged. “I don't.”

But he hadn’t left yet. Why did this seem so personal to him? What did he know? Her head was starting to spin and she couldn’t suppress a yawn. She turned back to Sabine. “Look, I think we all need some sleep. Are you going to be okay? Because you’re free to stay in my dorm if you want.”

Sabine shook her head. “No, I'm going to do a little painting to unwind. I'll just sleep here.”

“Well, call me if you change your mind.”

“I'll be fine. I've got a comfy couch.” Sabine snickered and added, “Now take your Kanan and go back to bed.”

Hera pursed her lips. “I was really hoping you forgot about that.” But seeing Sabine smile lifted her spirits.

“I certainly didn't,” Kanan put in. Hera glared at him but he just smirked. That smirk didn't seem so charming now.

“I'll call in the morning,” she promised Sabine. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure out how to help Ezra.”

She bid Sabine goodnight and headed out with Kanan, leaving more space between them on the way out than in the way in.

Hera got in her car right away, but Kanan stayed in the parking lot. He scratched his neck and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I'll get my own ride.”

She sighed, tapping on the armrest of the open car door. It was tempting, but she couldn’t justify wasting the fuel. “No, don't do that. I'll take you home.”

“You sure?” Kanan cocked one eyebrow. “Figured you wouldn't want me in your car.”

“I’m not angry with you, Kanan,” said Hera. The disappointment was implied, and Kanan climbed in with a sigh.

Driving had a way of clearing her head, especially with the windows open and the air rushing past her face. They were almost back to the bar when Kanan broke the silence.

“That kid’s in way over his head.”

She tightened her grip on the wheel. “But you don't care, right?”

“Look, it's not like I want the kid to get hurt,” he growled, “but you have to trust me on this one.”

Hera turned into the lot where Kanan’s car was parked. “I guess we’re going to have to agree to disagree,” she said, mustering a saccharine voice. She pulled into the spot next to his and parked, but Kanan just stared ahead. Hera cleared her throat. “This is your car, isn’t it?”

There was no mistaking it; the boot print was still on the window.

Kanan jerked upright and bolted out of her car like it was poisoned. “Thanks for the ride,” he said, not meeting her eyes. Without a glance back, he was in his car and driving away.

 _What is going on with him?_ But it was none of her business. Maybe he was just exhausted. She could help Sabine just as easily without him, and she was too tired to give much thought to where they stood after tonight. At least it was a short drive back to her dorm, and no one had snatched her parking spot.

When she got back to her room, the covers were still where she and Kanan had thrown them. The extra pillows they had kicked out to make room for two tall bodies were still on the ground.

Hera didn’t bother picking them up or changing into her pajamas. All she could do was slide off her jeans and crawl into bed. It still smelled like Kanan and sex.

As exhausted as she was, she didn't get much sleep. Thoughts of Sabine and Ezra and Jedi and crooked politicians raced through her head.

And then, there was Kanan. Hera couldn’t shake the feeling of déjà vu from Sabine’s account of Ezra’s behavior. Kanan could climb walls, and he was faster than anyone she had ever seen. He said he didn't want to help, but he had had no trouble believing Ezra was a Jedi and that the ISB was after him.

There was no way. It was hard enough to believe that Sabine’s friend could be a Jedi. Could there really be another one right under her nose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Star Wars Day, and happy birthday to this story! Wow, has it really been a year? I'm sorry I'm so slow.
> 
> For the longest time, I couldn't decide if I wanted to make Kanan a Jedi in this, but I knew I wanted to bring Ezra in. Next time, Kanan's got some soul-searching to do.


	10. Movin' Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan plays to his strengths.

The TV was on, but Kanan wasn't paying attention. He’d been staring at the wall, or maybe nothing, for an hour. Just sitting on the couch, wide awake and yet barely aware of anything outside his own head.

Insomnia hadn’t plagued him since he started college. The weak Imperial presence was the whole reason he came to Lothal, and sleep came easier when no one knew he was Caleb Dume.

Sometimes, getting blackout drunk helped, too.

But not tonight.

This Ezra kid had tried to keep his cool to impress Sabine, but he had to be scared. Maybe he didn't even know what he was, but at least he knew to run.

Kanan had been running his whole life. He ran from his past, from his training, and just because freedom felt good. Still, some things from the past were burned into his brain. Fear was dangerous for a Jedi. Fear would leave Ezra vulnerable, which was exactly how the ISB wanted him.

Kanan would never know a world where the Jedi flourished like they did centuries ago. They tried to rebuild every few decades, protecting the Force-sensitive children as best as they could. He was one of the “lucky” ones, lucky enough to have a master as a child.

The ISB had seen to that.

Did Ahsoka have a master once? He only knew her name from his childhood, but he had never sensed her in the Force. That was hardly a surprise. Like him, she probably went to great lengths to hide her identity. If she knew who he was, she never let on. That kind of control required training and discipline—things Ezra didn’t have.

But Kanan couldn't get involved. Not after what happened to Master Billaba. She was the one who told him to run, and he had never stopped. Just because he had laid low in one place for a few years didn't mean he wasn't running.

It was time to drop out, find a new place to hide, and start over. Again.

Not that he had built a life here. Maybe Okadiah would miss his company. Skelly would crash and burn, but that would happen with or without Kanan. Hera…

Hera wouldn't miss him. They hardly knew each other, and now that she knew what kind of person he really was, she’d be just as happy to never see him again.

Even if she knew the truth about his past, she wouldn't approve.

If he could help without revealing his past, without risking his life, he would. But he didn't have it in him to be that person.

Not even when he could almost see what he was looking for in Hera’s eyes.

It could have been something. In another life, he could imagine following her, supporting her, letting his guard down.

But he couldn't risk it. They'd kill him just like they murdered Billaba.

Best to just try and move on. Close off ties in Lothal, forget about his degree, and go back to living day by day. He was good at it, and his past was always going to catch up with him.

He'd leave Skelly a note and enough money to cover the rent for the rest of the year. Zeb would probably be willing to pick up more shifts at the bar. He got along well with Okadiah—maybe they'd end up friends. At the very least, Zeb could work while he finished his master’s degree and Okadiah got a Lasat bouncer with a good sense of humor.

Okadiah… Well, he knew Kanan wouldn't hang around forever. Kanan would say goodbye, maybe even leave the rest of his savings to get the bar through the next month easier.

As for Hera, they had said their goodbyes the night before.

Zeb was quick to respond to Kanan’s text. He said he was in the middle of material testing for his project, but Kanan offered to meet him in the lab. It wouldn't take long, and it would give him one last chance to stroll through campus. He'd be on the road by sundown.

And Hera and Sabine would be on their own with Ezra.

He let out a grunt. They would be fine. Hera could take care of herself and Sabine seemed like she could hold her own. Maybe Ezra would get away and the ISB would just move on.

Or maybe the ISB would torture Hera and Sabine for information.

Kanan squeezed his eyes shut to suppress the chill. He had warned them. That was all he could do.

Lothal’s campus was lush for a desert. He'd never given it much thought, but cacti came in all shades of green. Some even boasted plump, bright flowers to feed butterflies. The early spring sun was warm and comforting.

He wouldn't be lucky enough to live in a place like this again. He’d land in another grungy city like Kaller, running errands by night and staying out of sight.

School was a waste of his talents, so he might as well play to his strengths.

He wouldn't miss the hunt for parking spaces. Once he finally found one, it was a ten minute walk from the commuter lot to the Physical Sciences building.

Kanan stole casual glances over his shoulder as he walked. No one was following him but it was only a matter of time.

Almost there. He confirmed the room with Zeb, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious as he walked. He'd needs new phone and a new number, preferably one of those pay-by-the-month deals.

Something they couldn’t tie to him. Kanan fought a cringe. He really didn't want to take on a new name. Once was enough.

He followed the signs to the lab—he’d never had any classes in this building, but Hera probably lived there. Ahsoka probably did, too, and maybe even taught some of the classes.

Another pang of guilt hit his stomach but he steeled himself with a deep breath. Ahsoka could definitely take care of herself.

_But Ezra can't_ , he thought. That guilt would take more than a deep breath to kill.

He pushed open the door to find Zeb standing next to a huge piece of equipment, flanked by Hera Syndulla.

Eyes wide and lekku rigid, she looked just as shocked as he felt. Hera recovered first, turning to Zeb with a frown.

“Private security?” she said, putting a hand on her hip. “I knew your new job sounded shady, but I didn't know things were this bad.”

Kanan could have kicked himself for letting her get the first word in. “Shady? How could you say that about Okadiah’s fine establishment?”

Hera spat out a laugh. “Fine establishment? Okadiah would be the first to admit his bar is a hole in the wall, and that's being generous.”

“Wait. You two know each other?” asked Zeb. He looked from Hera to Kanan, his eyes wide. “I really don't want to know, do I?”

Kanan smirked, ready to explain _exactly_ how well they knew each other, but Hera cut in.

“There's nothing to know. What do you want, Kanan?” The question came out with an exasperated sigh.

Kanan took a step backwards, palms up in defense. “I just need a minute with Zeb, and then I'm all yours again.”

“No, thank you,” she said, using her mock sweet voice. “Just spit it out and get going. Zeb and I have work to do.”

Kanan tried not to let his heart sink. Maybe he wouldn't miss Hera’s voice so much if his last memory was of her snapping at him.

“Fine.” He turned to Zeb. “How would you feel about doubling your hours?”

Zeb scratched his chin. “I'm listening.”

Kanan tried not to look at Hera, but she was in his periphery. She seemed focused on the test rig, and he fixed his eyes on Zeb and lowered his voice.

“Look, the thing is, I'm moving. I was hoping you could keep an eye on things, maybe take on a little bar tending. Okadiah likes you and you'd make good tips.”

Zeb frowned in thought. “Well, I'd have to fit it in with my classes, but I could probably manage another 10 or 15 hours a week.” He folded his arms across his chest. “You transfering? Moving on to bigger and better things?”

Hera set down a pile of metal plaques with a clang. “Yes, Kanan, why _are_ you moving?” she asked, turning to him.

“Some people just get restless.”

“I see.” Her hands were back on her hips. “So that's it? You're just dropping out and running?”

“I can feel which way the wind’s blowing. It's time to move on,” he said with a shrug.

Hera’s eyes darted toward Zeb, then back to Kanan. “And what about your degree? Your plans? Your responsibilities?” Thankfully, she was vague about that last part. When Kanan said nothing, she shook her head. “Oh, right. You just told me what you thought I wanted to hear until things got too real.”

“Yep, that's me.” And it was stupid to think he could be anyone else.

“Only out to save your own neck.” She brushed past Zeb, who looked like he wanted to melt into the floor, to stand face to face with Kanan.

“That's right.” Kanan folded his arms across his chest to keep her back.

“So that's why you're making sure someone's going to look out for Okadiah. I bet you're leaving Skelly your half of the rent money, too.”

He didn't even blink.

“I'm gonna go get some food,” said Zeb, scratching his neck. “We can hash out the details when you two finish...this.”

Hera’s upper lip curled. “Oh, I think we're finished.”

They had come a long way from cuddling in her bed the night before, but Kanan had never been much of a cuddler. Maybe the ISB coming back was a good thing. He had gotten way too comfortable.

He forced a fond sigh. “Well, it was nice while it lasted. Try not to miss me too much.”

Hera turned her back to him and scooped up her samples. “Try not to let your conscience keep you up at night.”

“Oh, it won't be my conscience keeping me awake.” His wink was wasted on the back of her head but she still clicked her tongue.

There would be no shortage of quick lovers on the run. He could get laid and move on because the next person wouldn't be Hera. No attachment, no guilt. He wasn't going to make that mistake again.

And Hera could finish her schooling without distractions. Maybe someday, she'd meet someone worthy of her attention.

If she lived through finding Ezra. The thought hit him like a blow to the gut as he watched her work. Now that he was leaving, could he just tell her what he knew?

No. It would only make things worse, and she was ignoring him. All he could do was work out the details with Zeb and leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long. I want to thank everyone who read, left incredible comments, and encouraged me to update. Kanan and Hera's paths are going to diverge for a little while, but I don't think it'll be forever.


	11. They Always Collect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whether Hera likes it or not, she's assembling a team.

Chopper stood up from Hera’s desk and rubbed his hands together. “There you go. Proxy’s all set up. You'll be completely untraceable.”

“Thanks, Chopper. I owe you.”

“You _could_ just tell me what you're doing. I don't care if it's illegal.” With a wink, he added, “I'll help.”

Hera frowned. “I said no questions.”

“You know I can keep a secret! Do you need black market organs? Are you putting out a hit? There are easier ways to get drugs, you know.” Chopper jutted out his lower lip.

Any of those things seemed less dangerous than trying to investigate the demise of the Jedi Knights. Hera shook her head, but she caught the wrinkle of concern in Chopper’s brow.

“Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.”

“You always do. And you always take on everything yourself.” Chopper looked at her expectantly but she didn't break. “Okay,” he sighed. “Just let me know if you need me to knock some heads together. I'm always down for a rumble.”

It was sweet, in Chopper’s strange way, and that triggered a twinge of guilt. In the 16 years they had known each other, the only secret she had kept from him was what she was giving him for his birthday each year. But there was no reason to get him involved. It was bad enough that Sabine was caught up in it.

“I'll do that,” she said, forcing a smile.

“You're lucky I have class now or else I'd keep wearing you down.” Chopper picked up his backpack. He hesitated at the door. “Unless you're about to tell me, that is.”

“See you later, Chop.” She waited until she heard the door click shut before she looked up. He didn't sound too hurt, but it was hard to tell and she didn't want to see.

But she had to get to work. Rae would be in class for another hour, so she didn't have much time to poke around without detection.

Jedi sightings were all over conspiracy forums. Those sites were pretty innocent, and full of what had to be false reports or exaggerations.

 _Then again, any rumor would have seemed ridiculous a month ago_ , she thought.

But those sites weren't the ones she needed Chopper’s help to visit. Her father's tales were a bit hazy these days, but she always remembered the villain: Palpatine. Searching for his name led her out of her comfort zone quickly.

The guy had devotees, even centuries after he supposedly existed, like some sort of cult leader. According to them, the Jedi were responsible for wars, famines, and everything that had gone wrong over the last several centuries. His believers were sure that the Jedi were using mind tricks to manipulate world leaders. Only the “noble” ISB saw them for who they really were.

They went on about _restoring balance_ and often mentioned something called _Order 66_. Even though she had no idea what it meant, the words made Hera's stomach turn.

_It’s time to purge the world of these abominations for good. I can't sleep knowing they're out there, biding their time._

_They want society to fail so they can go back to the old ways. Get them before they get us._

_Need an Inquisitor in every province. Maybe 2._

Hera kept coming back to the word Inquisitor. What did it mean in this context?

A buzz from her desk made her jump. _Just my phone_ , she thought. She ignored it—she had found a list of doxxed suspected Jedi—but the texts kept rolling in. It was Zeb. Just as she was about to reply, he called.

“Hey, Zeb. Kind of busy, can this wait?” She kept scrolling through the boards, looking for Ezra’s name.

“Not really.” Zeb's voice had a raw edge that she had never heard before, not even when he missed his thesis review deadline. “I'm at Lothal General. Okadiah’s been shot in the leg.”

Her stomach flipped. “I'm on my way.” This couldn't be a coincidence. She grabbed her bag, slipped on her shoes, and headed for her car.

It had to be the ISB. Kanan was a Jedi. They knew he had skipped town, and they were hitting him where it hurt. There was no other explanation. But now wasn’t the time to bask in the moment of clarity. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Knocked the gun out of his hands but the bastard got away.”

“Just don't go anywhere. I'll be there soon.”

Thinking of Okadiah bleeding out in a hospital bed had her going as far over the limit as she could get away with. Kanan had to know this was a possibility, and yet he chose to save his own skin.

Going to Okadiah was probably a mistake. If the ISB was after people close to Kanan, it was a very short list, and just a few days of “association” (for lack of a better word) secured Hera a spot.

Had they already gotten to Skelly? Hera's heart pounded—did he have anyone to check in on him?

 _One thing at a time_ , she reminded herself. Kanan had mentioned something about Skelly being in some school club, but she would check with Chop later.

She took purposeful steps through the hospital parking garage, casually glancing around for followers. If anyone was watching her, they were well hidden, and she made it up to the patient  
rooms without attracting attention. The doctors must have already closed up the wound if he was in a recovery room. 

The door to Okadiah’s room was open, but she tapped on it before letting herself in. Zeb stood in the corner, glowering at his cell phone.

Okadiah was watching television from his bed. He had an IV, and from his dazed expression, Hera guessed he was on pretty strong painkillers. Under the blankets, his leg was in traction. Had they _operated_? How long had he been here?

Before she could ask, Okadiah grinned up at her. “Guess I must be worse off than I thought, because I see an angel before me.”

Hera shook her head, but he looked a bit pale so she pasted a big smile on her face. “How's your leg?”

“Better now that you're here. I’m sure you had better things to do than check up on an old geezer like me.”

“ _Karabast_ ,” growled Zeb. “Kanan’s phone is still going straight to voicemail.”

Okadiah let out an exaggerated sigh, but there was genuine concern in his eyes. “I hope that boy’s all right. I should have known something was up when he closed his tab.”

“Do you know where he is?” Zeb asked. Hera shook her head. Of course Kanan wasn't answering his phone—it was probably in a dumpster somewhere.

“I warned him to stay away from loan sharks,” Okadiah went on. “They always collect.”

So he thought this was just about money. Hera could work with that. “Whoever did this, did they say they were after Kanan?”

Okadiah nodded. “When you see him, tell him to keep his nose clean. He doesn't need their money.”

She folded her arms across her chest. Maybe Kanan had seen a loan shark at some point—she wouldn't put it past him—but it didn't matter now. “I would, but I don't think he's coming back.”

“Oh, he’ll be back. He's not going to let you be the one that got away.” Okadiah added a wink, just in case Hera didn't get it. “Kanan sure knows how to pick ‘em! You're the total package and this one,” he jerked a thumb at Zeb, “saved my life!”

“Did you get a look at the gunner?” she asked.

Okadiah shook his head. “He had a mask on. Maybe a head taller than me. That's all I remember before I went down. Pain was so sharp it was like I couldn't breathe, then nothing.”

Hera turned to Zeb, who looked just as confused. “The guy was strong. Skinny as a rail, moved like nothing I've ever seen. Skelly couldn't see him on the cameras, so he definitely knew the place, but I didn't recognize him.”

“Skelly’s okay?”

Zeb looked even more lost after Hera's interjection. “Yeah, he's reviewing the footage with the cops now.”

 _Great. The police are involved._ It took all her discipline not to smack her forehead. Why wouldn't they report it? “Ah. Good.”

Zeb's cocked a brow in confusion but brushed it aside. “And I've been trying to get a hold of Kanan but he won't answer his damn phone.”

“Boy’s lying low. He does this sometimes.” Okadiah looked over at Hera and waggled his eyebrows. “I'm telling you, he'll be back. Never seen him look at anybody the way he looks at you.”

Hera suppressed her groan. “Look. These people who were looking for Kanan might come back. Is there anyone you can stay with once your leg is healed?”

“Got a cousin a few towns away, haven't heard from him in years though. How long we talking? Doc says the bullet shattered my femur, so I'm in here for another 4 weeks at least.”

Hera gaped at him. “ _Shattered_?” She whirled around to face Zeb. “When exactly did this happen?”

“Two days ago,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck. Hera's eyes went even wider and Zeb put his hands up in defense. “I tried to text Kanan first, but he never got back to me.”

“I was in surgery for 12 hours!” Okadiah thumped his chest proudly. “Thought I was a goner for a minute there, but this old bones’ve got some fight left in ‘em. Now I've got pins in my thigh! I can't wait to go through a metal detector.”

Hera tried to shut out the rambling and kept glaring at Zeb. “Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“Why would I? Did you think he was gonna get shot?”

 _Crap_. Those were good questions, and she didn't have good answers. “No, but I could have tried to get a hold of Kanan.”

“But you just said you didn't know where he was. Besides, I figured you two were non-contact after,” he paused to wrinkle his nose, “whatever it was that happened back in the lab.”

Now Okadiah was listening. “Oh, what happened? Whatever Kanan said, I'm sure he didn't mean it.”

She summoned her fake smile and saccharine tone once more. “Of course he didn't. You just focus on getting better. I'll be back to check on you.”

“Well, that makes me feel better already, gorgeous,” slurred Okadiah. “If only I could get more of those little fruit cups, I'd swear I was in paradise.”

Hera hit his call button. “I'm sure your nurse can bring you all the snacks you want.”

“Don't know how I'm gonna pay for this. Hey, if you see the”—Okadiah made a gun shape with his fingers and made gunshot sounds—”guy again, ask him who he works for. I'm gonna need a loan.”

Zeb and Hera both let out heavy sighs. “We’ll figure that out later,” said Hera as the nurse walked in.

“What can I get you?” asked the nurse.

“Some of those jelly cups. The blue ones. And maybe another one of those magic pills.” Okadiah wiggles his fingers as if performing a magic spell.

“Let me check and see when you last got one.” The nurse logged into the computer in the corner and panic washed over Hera. She had left her dorm without shutting her computer down. What if Rae saw everything? What if she got suspicious? Hera had to get home.

She started scooting toward the door. “Well, I see you're in good hands. Try to get some rest.”

“Anything you say, gorgeous…”

As Okadiah drifted off to sleep, Hera and Zeb took their leave. Hera walked fast, hoping Zeb would turn a different way. How could she have been so careless? A nagging little voice in her head said, _Obviously you're worried about more than Ezra Bridger..._

“So, where do you think—”

“Later,” she snapped. They made their way to the elevators in silence. Anytime Zeb opened his mouth, Hera shook her head. Once they were close to the parking garage, Zeb finally spoke.

“Uh, Hera, can I get a ride?”

“I'm sorry, Zeb. Any other time…”

“But I took the bus here and that was all my cash.”

Hera groaned. His apartment was on the way to her dorm. She could let him off and then deal with her mistake. “Fine.”

There was no way Zeb would forget what had just happened, so she cut him off as soon as they were in the car.

“Look, I really don't know where Kanan went, and I don't think he wants to be found. I don't think this was about unpaid debts, but that's all I'm going to say. Thanks for taking care of Okadiah. We should check on him a few times a day.”

There was a beat of silence.

“That's it?” Zeb growled. “Something's going on, and whether you like it or not, I'm involved.”

Hera kept her voice calm but tightened her grip on the wheel. “And I regret that, but the less you know, the better.”

“Hera, a man shot at me two days ago! I think I deserve to know what this is all about!”

That was fair. And Zeb had probably saved Okadiah's life. Hera glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

Sabine was quick but young, and neither she nor Hera had the raw strength of a Lasat. Maybe he could be useful. But he didn't have to know everything.

“Fine. But I need to take care of something at my dorm first.”

“And then you'll tell me?”

Hera swallowed. “Yes.”

The rest of the trip was silent.

Hera swiped her ID to access her floor and no one barged their way in. Zeb was tight lipped on the ride up by Hera just shook her head.

The hallway was bustling like normal. _That's a good sign,_ she thought. _No police_. A few of her hallmates greeted her and she smiled back.

She fished for her key in her purse—she really did need to put it on a bigger keychain—but when she put it in the door, it was already unlocked. She took a deep breath.

“Rae?” she called, pushing the door open.

But it was Ashoka who she found inside, staring out the window. Had Hera missed a meeting? Had Ahsoka seen her computer?

There was no sign of Rae, but Sabine was sitting on Hera's bed, ashen faced. Her heart began to race—what had happened to Ezra?

As desperate as she was to know, she had to act normally with the others there. “What's going on?”

Ahsoka turned around, looking as grim as Hera had ever seen her.

“D-did we lose funding?” asked Zeb.

Without responding, Ahsoka walked to the door and shut it, making no noise at all. Every sound seemed too loud, so Hera held her breath. It felt like minutes before Ahsoka spoke. She looked from Zeb to Hera, her face still as stone.

“Hera, I need you to tell me everything you know about Kanan Jarrus and Ezra Bridger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this story has changed from how it started out. Next time, Kanan's not the only one on the run. 
> 
> Thanks for staying with me despite slow updates! <3


	12. Taste My Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you're on your own, and sometimes your car gets hotwired with you in it.

"Pure Sabacc." Slender fingers with long nails dug into Kanan’s shoulders. “You're on fire tonight! What did you say your name was again?”

He shrugged off the lady's hands. “I didn't.”

“That works for me,” she purred, her lips right next to his ear. Kanan jerked his head away.

“Not interested.” It came out rougher than he intended, but he couldn't find it in himself to be charming. Even if he had the time and inclination for a fling, this woman wasn't going to be so impressed when she found out he was living in his car. Maybe once he got further from Lothal he could consider nicer arrangements, but right now he needed cash.

Luck was on his side tonight. Maybe the Force was still with him, and maybe he had an inkling of what everyone else's hands looked like. _Master Billaba would be so proud_. 

He pushed the thought aside, but his past was getting harder and harder to ignore. The aimless driving left him with nothing but time to think.

He'd have to settle on a destination soon.

Really soon. By the look on the huge “undercover” bouncer’s face, Kanan was one win away from peeling his face off the back alley pavement.

_It's not too late to turn around._

“Deal me in,” he growled. He could afford to lose a little to shake off the bouncer. A bad bet and a thrown hand later, he was out with minimal suspicion.

Sticking to the shadows, he sulked back to his home (the nondescript neighborhood where his car was parked) for the night. A bottle of whiskey and a ratty blanket waited for him there. _Should have brought a book,_ he thought. But books reminded him of school and school reminded him of everything he didn't want to think about.

So alcohol it was. He kicked off his boots and drank.

In the morning (or maybe the afternoon), he'd move on, just like he always had. His first memories were of riding in vans and busses with the other younglings. The nomadic lifestyle was his normal.

Master Billaba had brought him a bit more stability, and a stint in public school. Some of the other Jedi Masters had questioned her judgement, and it had hurt to endure stares and barbs from other kids, but those days had probably saved his life. He could blend in anywhere now.

Even when he was lost, Kanan had at least kept his promise. _Pursue your education,_ Master Billaba had said. _We will always be peacekeepers, but we cannot pretend that the world around us is stagnant._

_How are we supposed to keep the peace when we have to hide who we are?_

She was always patient with his questions.

_We find ways. And so will you._

_But what if I don't?_

_All right, maybe you won't. But anything is possible. Perhaps the answer will come to you in another form._

He hadn't understood then, either, but he knew he hadn't found the answer yet.

Caleb Dume never got the chance to finish school, but Kanan Jarrus had earned a GED. He had made some terrible choices along the way, but he had cleaned up his act (mostly), and gotten into college. Just one more year and he could have graduated.

 _And then what?_ How was he supposed to make a difference with a philosophy degree? School was interesting enough, but Master Billaba never told him what he was supposed to _do_ with that education.

It didn't matter now. He had broken his promise, and all he had to show for it was a car full of empty liquor bottles. What was another one on the pile?

Hours—or maybe minutes—passed in darkness.

The hairs on the back of Kanan's neck prickled. Beneath his cheek, the seat back was damp with cold sweat. Had he even fallen asleep? Was he still sleeping now?

There was someone else in the car. He'd had this dream before, when he was a kid. Or was it a memory?

He hadn't sensed another Jedi in nearly a decade. Ashoka was a closed book, and Kanan understood why. All of his training went into masking his own presence, and if Ahsoka knew him by his new name, she didn't let on.

The goosebumps spread down his back to his arms. Was it a hallucination? A Force Ghost? He had heard dead Masters could become one with the Force and appear to the living.

 _No_. This was no Master. This presence was unfocused. Scared.

But it didn't matter because this had to be a dream, brought on by alcohol and guilt. All he needed to do was wake up, but he couldn't will himself to move.

Even in his dreams, he was stuck in his damn car.

Something sparked and the car was moving, or spinning. Those drinks came rushing back, and his head swam.

“No, no, no!” The presence was so  _loud_.

Before he could complain, the car jerked to a halt. Kanan's head collided with the back of the driver’s seat. “Shit!”

He wasn't dreaming. His head throbbed and the hangover kicked in.

When he dragged his head up, he was face to face with a kid—blue eyes, brown skin, blue hair, _Force-sensitive_. None of it was a dream.

In his shock, his stealth failed him. The kid yelped and sprung back.

“What was that?”

“Stop yelling,” Kanan croaked. He wouldn't have been able to explain their connection on a good day, and he definitely couldn't whike it felt like his head was in a vice.

“Y-you…”

The kid just gaped at him, wires and tools coming into focus in the periphery. Wires? He did a double take (which he regretted immediately); his steering column was dangling from the wheel and the wires were stripped and exposed. “What in the—”

“How did you do that?”

“Hey, you're the one trying to carjack me, so I'll be asking the questions.” Kanan tried to drag himself out of the trunk and the kid recoiled.

“I didn't think anyone was in here! But then you—” The kid grabbed a backpack with one hand and the door handle with the other.

“Wait,” Kanan groaned. The kid’s voice was familiar. He _could_ think of another Force user. It had been a couple months, but his name stuck out in Kanan’s memory like a beacon. “You're Ezra.”

The kid’s eyes went wide. “Never heard of him.”

Kanan didn't need the Force to see through that lie. _I can't deal with this right now_ , he thought, groping for his shoes on the floor. Bottles clinked together as he knocked them out of the way.

“Okay, you clearly have some issues, so I'll just be going.” Ezra opened the door and scrambled out.

Before Kanan could follow, Ezra was back inside. He slammed the door and dropped his bag. “Never mind, buckle up, let’s go!”

A threat snapped through Kanan’s mind fog, familiar and horrible. Engines roared in the distance. He tried to reach out, find the danger—now that the cat was out of the bag, he might as well put it to work—but he couldn't grasp anything other than Ezra's panic.

“There it is again! Stop doing that!” Ezra cried. He sparked the car again.

“Rev the engine so it doesn't stall out again,” said Kanan. _I can't believe I'm telling him how to do this_. Ezra complied, then floored the pedal before Kanan could extract his legs from the trunk. He slid backwards, bracing his feet on the rear wall of the trunk. The squealing tires masked the string of expletives Kanan unleashed.

So much for his reflexes.

He grabbed onto the driver’s seat and pulled himself out of the trunk. “Move over, this is my car!”

Ezra shot him a look as he sped down the street. “No way! Your breath could take down a rancor!”

It was a fair point, though he was sobering up fast. Kanan clambered over the armrests to the front passenger seat. “Slow down or you'll wake the whole neighborhood! Do you even know how to drive?”

“Yeah!” Ezra’s eyes were wild. He looked like he might bite Kanan if he made any sudden movements.

 _This kid's gonna kill us both,_ thought Kanan, buckling his seatbelt. He flipped down the visor and his stomach dropped. They were being followed.

He tried to focus. It wasn't the ISB, but it wasn't good, either.

Ezra tightened his death grip on the wheel and threw the car into a sharp turn. Kanan’s head smacked into the window.

“I said slow down!” Even if Ezra managed to avoid crashing the car, he was going to crack Kanan’s skull open.

But Ezra just pushed the tired car to go faster, weaving between parked cars and potholes as he flew. It would have been impressive if Kanan wasn't seconds away from throwing up. Even worse, the tank was running low, the brakes cried at every turn, and their pursuer’s car was at least 10 years newer.

Ezra white-knuckled the wheel. “They're right behind us!”

They were actually several blocks behind, but Ezra was in shock. Yelling wasn't working. Kanan pushed on his temples as if it would jumpstart his brain. There had to be something he could do.

There was always meditation. If he calmed down enough to meditate, maybe it would rub off on Ezra. And if that didn't work, maybe he could use the Force to drive the car. He hoped it didn't come to that, for both their sakes. He was bound to be rusty.

Kanan closed his eyes. _Inhale_. The Force was like air. Even if he ignored it or forgot about it, it was still there. _Exhale_. His throbbing head, Ezra’s panic, the adrenaline—it all faded away. _Inhale_. All that was left was the Force. _Exhale_. He found Ezra, then his own voice.

“Ezra. You have to calm down or we will get caught. Someone will call the police, and the ISB will find us.”

“How do you know about them?” Ezra screeched.

Kanan kept breathing. “We need stealth, not speed.”

“What? We have to get out of here now!”

 _Inhale. Exhale._ “We won't get very far on this tank, and they will follow us. It won't end well.”

“Why should I trust you?”

Kanan’s breathing faltered. He heard shades of himself. Kanan had been in his shoes many times—reckless and running on instinct.

“Because they're after me, too.”

He had no choice.

Using the Force was not like riding a bike, or maybe it was the alcohol. It took all of his concentration and then some, but he managed to push the brake.

“What are you doing?!” Ezra's voice was distant. Kanan listened to the tires on the road, slowing under his influence. At least he could still do something.

Other thoughts, strange and familiar, filled Kanan's mind. This wasn't home, but Ezra had spent some time here. He had the whole town mapped out. “You know these streets. Where do you go when you don't want to be found?”

“Huh?”

 _Hide_ , said Kanan. Or maybe he only thought it. Either way, Ezra heard. Kanan wasn't sure if Ezra was terrified, impressed, or both, but when Kanan let go, Ezra kept driving, slow and steady.

Kanan opened his eyes, and neither spoke for some time.

“So...you're like me,” said Ezra, his grip on the wheel much looser now.

“Yeah.”

Ezra took another turn, and a deep breath. “And that makes us…”

Kanan snorted. “We’re not long lost brothers, if that's where you're going.”

“I know that.” Ezra made a left and a quick right. “You're way too old, anyway.”

“Hold on. Just how old do you think I am?” Taking swipes at Kanan seemed to help keep him calm.

“I don't know, 37? 38?”

 _Ouch_. “Try 22.”

“Seriously?” Ezra glanced his way. “That is bleak.”

Kanan was regretting the conversation more and more, but now that he had a chance to look, a horrible reflection greeted him in the visor mirror: bags under bloodshot eyes, frizzy hair, and sunken cheeks. When was the last time he had shaved his neck, and had his skin always looked this gray?

“You caught me on a bad day,” he muttered.

“Whatever. I'll be out of your hair soon.” Ezra pulled into what looked like a junkyard. Anything of value had been picked over long ago and it smelled like Kanan looked, but it was far off the beaten trail. Ezra wove through the piles until the passages were almost too narrow to navigate. “We’ll hide out here for a while and I'll catch the next bus out of town or something.”

Kanan frowned. What was the next step? The ISB had eyes and ears everywhere, and if Ezra skipped town, who knew what would happen to him?

But what was the alternative? Ezra probably wanted to be stuck with Kanan about as much as Kanan wanted to be stuck with him. The idea of babysitting a teenager made his headache come back with a vengeance.

Ezra parked the car and looked around. “I think we lost them.”

The danger had faded to a dim roar in the back of his mind. “Yeah, we did.”

“Cool.” Ezra pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at Kanan expectantly. “I, uh, have to make a call.”

“What, do you want me to get out of _my_ car?” said Kanan. Ezra rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, fine.” He held his hand over the phone as if that would give him some privacy. Kanan shook his head and turned to forage in the back seat.

 _Thought I had some water in here. And a comb,_ he thought. His hand brushed against a protein bar—food was just starting to sound acceptable—when Ezra's voice made him freeze.

“Sabine?”

Sabine breathed a sigh of relief on the other end of the line. “What happened? We've been worried sick since you got cut off.”

The volume was much too loud for a private call, and Kanan turned to stare.

One corner of Ezra's mouth twitched. “You were worried about me?”

“Just tell us what happened.”

Kanan’s heart leapt at the second voice. _Hera_. He was sure he'd never have the pleasure of hearing her voice again, but the joy was short-lived. _Of course_ she couldn't just mind her own business and stay out of this mess.

 _Look who's talking_ , he chided himself.

“Tsoklo called the dock manager on me,” said Ezra, trying to sound casual. “Then he followed me when I tried to run away.”

“I told you he was up to no good!” Sabine said.

“Yeah, yeah, you were right, but I needed the money. Besides, I got away.”

Now it was Hera's turn to sigh. “But Lyste is onto you now, and it's only a matter of time before he calls the police. What's your new plan?”

Ezra glanced at Kanan. “Still working on that. I thought I had transportation figured out, but…”

“What did you do?” Sabine was perceptive as always.

Ezra chuckled nervously. “I, uh, borrowed a car. Don't worry! It's fine.”

Hera and Sabine groaned.

“You stole a car?” Hera demanded. “You're supposed to be keeping a low profile!”

“I know how it sounds, but the guy was okay with it! He's—” Before Ezra could finish his sentence, Kanan shook his head, making a slicing motion in front of his throat. Ezra furrowed his brow but played along. “He's dead.”

“What?” Sabine and Hera cried in unison.

Kanan slapped a hand to his forehead. He almost wished he could see Hera's face in person. If Hera knew Ezra was talking about him, he'd be better off dead. 

“I didn't kill him!”

“You can't be serious. What, did he leave it to you in his will or something?” Sabine asked, voice thick with sarcasm.

Ezra chewed his lip and Kanan stifled a laugh. It was his fault Ezra was in this mess, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it a little.

“Fine, he wasn't dead. I made that part up.” Ezra glared at Kanan. “He was drunk off his ass and I won it off of him. In a bet. I doubt the lush will even remember me when he wakes up. Probably too old to drive, too.”

Kanan frowned, even though he had it coming.

“Ezra.” Hera’s voice was grave. “You can't afford any attention. If Lyste reports your escape, Tua might call in an Inquisitor.”

Kanan’s blood ran cold. _Inquisitor_? He didn't like the sound of that.

Ezra swallowed hard and glanced at Kanan. “I thought they weren't real.”

“Chop’s been doing some digging online. It was definitely an Inquisitor who attacked Zeb.”

Kanan barely managed to contain his shock at Hera's announcement. Zeb had been attacked? Had something happened at Okadiah’s bar? Was Okaidiah okay? He squeezed his eyes shut. Instead of staying out of danger, Hera was bringing people in.

 _Except I started it,_ he told himself. _Whatever an Inquisitor is, they were looking for me_. The knot in his stomach tightened, and he realized he was crushing his protein bar in his fist. He had assumed (or hoped) the ISB would lose interest in Lothal once he was gone. Now everyone else was paying the price for his mistake.

Ezra was speechless, too.

“He seems to have left Lothal. Chop’s tracking his movements as best as he can,” said Hera. “Are you sure we shouldn't come find you? I don't like the idea of you out there alone.”

 _Is she serious?_ By Kanan’s estimates, finals were coming soon. Was Hera willing to fail just to help Ezra?

Either way, it wasn't a good idea. If Chopper could track this Inquisitor, the ISB could track them. It would be too suspicious if they left.

_Is Chopper tracking me?_

“I can take care of myself,” said Ezra, looking out the window.

Sabine snorted. “Says the car thief.”

“I'll give it back!”

“Of course, we’d risk leading them right to you,” said Hera, ignoring the bickering. She sighed again. “Just stay hidden for now, and don't do anything stupid. We’ll figure this out.” The concern in Hera's voice sent chills down Kanan's spine. There was no stopping her. “Call us if you need anything. And get a new phone as soon as you can.”

“Don't steal one,” Sabine put in.

“Yeah, yeah.” Ezra hung up. He tried to look calm but his hands were shaking. Kanan's own heart was beating so hard he could feel it in his eardrums.

“This Zeb,” Kanan began, “is he okay?”

“Yeah. I don't know exactly what happened, but somehow he got away. Might help that he's a 7 foot tall Lasat.”

Kanan tried not to act surprised or seem too relieved. But something struck him—despite talking to Hera and Sabine, Ezra had no clue who _he_ was. They hadn't mentioned him. Hera knew, on some level, what he was. She had to. But she must not have brought him up, not even to badmouth him. _Is that really a surprise?_ Kanan pushed the thought aside.

“What’s an Inquisitor?” he asked.

“I don't know everything, but Sabine thinks they have powers like me.” Ezra shrugged. He gestured to Kanan and himself. “Like us, I guess. Except they work for the ISB.”

Kanan’s heart stopped for a moment. It was worse than he imagined, but it made sense. He was well aware of the Dark Side of the Force, and if he was still around, some of them were bound to be around, too.

Even if Kanan didn't do good anymore, at least he didn't spread evil.

 _But really, what's the difference?_ The thought sounded like something his old Master would say.

“Why didn't you want me to tell them about you?” asked Ezra. “They’re a little overbearing, but they’re all right.”

“I'm sure they are,” Kanan said. _Much better than me_ , he added mentally. “But the less they know, the better. For all of us.” _Because Hera would probably kill me._

“But if I could just explain it to them,” Ezra began, raking a hand through his hair. “I don't want them coming out here, but now they think I'm some kind of car thief!”

Kanan narrowed his eyes. “You stole my car.”

“That's not what I…” Ezra sighed. “Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but somehow I knew that I had to break into _this_ car. I can't explain it.”

Kanan didn't believe in signs, not anymore. He had spent half his life keeping his head down, because no expectations meant no disappointment. He had never bothered to contact Ahsoka, and she hadn't said anything to him. He never gave it a second thought Live and let live, he had figured.

If the ISB hadn't chased Ezra, if Hera hadn't led him to Sabine’s studio, he'd probably still be living in willful ignorance.

But, as much as he hated to admit it, he hadn't followed Hera that night to impress her. He wanted to help. He wanted to do the right thing. Maybe that was why he ran away.

And now, here he was, carjacked by the very kid he was trying to avoid.

 _Shit_.

Ezra’s words came back to him. _And that makes us…_  He deserved the truth.

_I'm gonna regret this._

Kanan took a deep breath. Ezra looked up from his phone.

“These powers, Ezra...” Another deep breath. “They make us Jedi.”

The word felt foreign on his tongue. He didn't like to say it out loud. Ezra was silent but not stunned. He had probably known all along, or at least suspected it. Kanan’s head spun again—he chalked it up to the hangover. _Breathe_ , he reminded himself. They sat for a long time, Kanan steadying himself and Ezra deep in thought. 

“So if you're a Jedi,” Ezra's said, cutting through the moment. “Can you teach me to do those mind tricks?”

Kanan frowned at him. “No.”

“What about moving stuff with my mind? Can you teach me that?”

“No.”

Ezra clicked his tongue, looking dejected. “Well then what does a Jedi even do?”

“Beats me, kid,” he muttered. Kanan  _could_ do those things, or at least he used to do them, but he didn't know the first thing about teaching. "But I do know you need to fix my car.”

“Seriously?” Ezra’s mouth hung open. “You tell me we have Jedi powers and you want me to fix your car?”

Kanan shrugged. “You broke it.”

Ezra rolled his eyes, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I don't believe this.”

“Neither do I,” said Kanan under his breath. He pretended to close his eyes but peered at Ezra. This arrangement, whatever it was, was probably a bad idea. There was always the chance that Ezra would make a break for the bus station or run off with his car. Kanan definitely would have at that age.

But then again, anything was possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endless apologies for the delay and endless gratitude for sticking with me and this story. You have no idea how much it means to me.
> 
> Let me know if I typed "Erza" anywhere. I wrote this on my phone and autocorrect was being weird.


	13. Waking Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera's got too much on her plate, but there's always room for more.

“Hera, I need you to tell me everything you know about Kanan Jarrus and Ezra Bridger."

Ahsoka’s words hung heavy in the air, freezing Hera and Zeb in their tracks. Hera glanced at Sabine for a hint but saw nothing but unease.

Hera tried to match Ahsoka’s steady voice but failed. “I'm not sure what you mean.” At least Zeb was still in shock and couldn't blab.

Ahsoka’s calm, detached demeanor did nothing to ease the tension. “Did Kanan tell you where he was going?” 

It took Hera a moment to even summon a reply. How did she know he was gone? “I'm sorry?” 

Ahsoka turned to Zeb. “And Zeb, are you all right?” His eyes went wider and she frowned. “You've been to see Okadiah Garson. How is he?”

Words failed Hera as wild thoughts flew through her mind. _Is Ahsoka following me? Spying on me? Hacking my phone? She couldn't be with the ISB, could she?_

There was some connection between Kanan and Ahsoka. It seemed trivial before, maybe a botched pickup attempt or a bad date, but knowing what she knew now...

“How do you know Kanan?” Hera asked. 

Ahsoka’s expression softened. “I'm afraid that's not my story to tell.” But it was as good as admitting that Hera was right. 

There was no way Ahsoka was a Jedi, too. Three Jedi in one university was too much of a coincidence. 

Then again, maybe it _wasn't_.

“I have no idea where Kanan is,” Hera said. There was no harm in telling that truth. 

“I see.” Ahsoka sighed. She turned to Zeb. “I don't suppose he told you, either.”

Zeb frowned in confusion. “Sorry, I’m really lost here.”

Hera cleared her throat and stood up straighter. “We don't know what you're talking about.”

“You don't know anything about Ezra’s disappearance?” Ahsoka’s eyes seemed to see through her. “About the assassin Zeb encountered?”

Hera’s lekku went rigid. _Assassin?_ Zeb tried to stammer a reply but Hera cut him off. 

“I thought you wanted to know where Kanan went.” It came out like an accusation.

“Don't you see a connection?” Ahsoka didn't take the bait. They both knew it was a rhetorical question. When Hera didn't reply, Ahsoka continued. “It's as I told Sabine. I want to help Ezra Bridger.”

Sabine took a deep breath. “But why do you want to help him?” she asked. 

Ahsoka tilted her chin. “Why do any of you?”  

 _Because he's Sabine’s friend_ , Hera thought. _Because I remember when the ISB tried to intimidate my father. Because it's the right thing to do._

But it was a fair question. The Ahsoka she knew was a good person. She stayed late to help undergrads with their homework for other classes. She volunteered at the campus nursery. She used her engineering knowledge for charity projects and bought supplies with her own money. Hera looked up to her. Hera trusted her.

But now she was afraid to trust anyone.

Ahsoka continued. “Ezra is in grave danger, as is Kanan.”

“Are _you_ in grave danger?” asked Hera. But Ahsoka was too smart to fall for that. She didn't miss a beat.

“We’ll all be in danger if the ISB comes to power.” 

“The ISB?!” Zeb’s eyes went wide. 

“Not so loud!” Hera hissed.

“Is that who we’re dealing with? My people would be extinct if those bastards had their way.” Zeb shook his head in disbelief. “I haven't heard anything about them in years. Thought most of them were rotting in jail.” 

Ahsoka was inscrutable. 

“So did I,” Hera said. 

“So if this assassin was with the ISB, why didn't that bastard try to finish the job?” Zeb wondered aloud.

 _Great_ , Hera thought. _Way to show all your cards._ But it was a good question.

“I believe you caught them off guard. Perhaps they want to keep a low profile,” said Ahsoka. 

“Or maybe it was just some loan shark’s goon.” But Hera couldn't make it sound convincing.

Zeb shook his head and set his jaw in determination. “If we're taking on the ISB, count me in.”

This was exactly why Hera didn't want to involve Zeb.

“Me too,” said Sabine. Her back was straighter now and she looked just as determined. 

Hera sighed. It was risky, but Zeb was clearly familiar with the ISB, and he had escaped an encounter with an ISB agent unscathed. Turning down help and trying to go it alone was no better than running away. 

Hera turned to Ahsoka. “I need to know more before I agree to anything.”

Ahsoka nodded, lips curving in a small smile. “I've never known you to be reckless.” 

“But what does all this have to do with Kanan? And who's Ezra?” Zeb asked.

“He’s—” Sabine began. Ahsoka jerked her head toward the door and Sabine fell silent. 

Ahsoka dropped her voice to a whisper. “It's not safe to discuss this here.”

“Then where?” asked Sabine. But Ahsoka put up a finger. 

“I wanted to tell you in person,” she said. Her tone was suddenly happy and bright. “The university would like to extend our project for another semester and expand it to three more regions.”

Hera nodded and played along. “That's fantastic!” And then she heard the doorknob. Rae was back. Had Ahsoka heard her coming down the hall? Or was there another explanation?

“I'm really proud of all of you,” said Ahsoka, startling Hera from her thoughts. 

“We couldn't have done it without you,” Sabine put in. 

Rae opened the door, eyes going wide when she noticed everyone else. “Am I interrupting something?

“Oh, hey, Rae,” said Hera with a smile. “Sorry, we're almost done.”

“No worries,” said Rae, going straight for her desk. 

“I'll see all of you tomorrow to discuss the next step,” said Ahsoka. Hera, Zeb, and Sabine nodded.

“Oh, uh,” Zeb began. He scratched his neck and looked at Ahsoka. “Can I get a ride?” 

In all the confusion, Hera had forgotten why Zeb had come with her in the first place. Ahsoka smiled. “Of course. Sabine?”

Sabine shook her head. “Nah, Hera and I were gonna grab some food.” Hera nodded, as if they had actually planned it. 

“See you tomorrow, then.” Ahsoka and Zeb left. 

“Want to come with?” Hera asked Rae, knowing the answer. 

Rae didn't look up from her tablet. “No thanks, just ate. I have to finish some reading.”

“Okay. See you later.” Hera grabbed her laptop and put it in her bag. She and Sabine headed out, not speaking until they were out of the dorms. 

“How does she know everything?” asked Sabine. 

“She certainly seems to,” Hera sighed. “Did you tell her anything?”

“I didn't have to. She saw right through me.” 

“What do you want to do?” 

Sabine cracked her knuckles. “I think we need all the help we can get. And you guys are like my family,” she said. 

“But can we trust her?” Hera asked, more for her own benefit than Sabine’s. Sabine knew as well as Hera that family couldn't always be trusted.

“I don't know, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.” 

Sabine was probably right. Even with Chopper’s help, they were still going in blind. _Chopper,_ Hera thought with a sigh, remembering how hurt he was at being left out of her investigation. She would have to get him in on it, too. At least she could trust him without a doubt. 

“So he just took off?” Sabine wondered as they walked into the dining hall. Hera didn't need a name to know who Sabine was talking about. She glanced around, but the other students looked too busy to care about their ambiguous conversation.

“Yes.” 

“So he refuses to help us, then leaves? That's not suspicious or anything,” said Sabine. Hera nodded absently, hoping Sabine would drop it. There wasn't much she could say out in the open, and she didn't want to talk about him anyway. Sabine squinted at Hera. “And you _really_ don't know where he went?” 

“No, I don't,” Hera said. When Sabine raised an eyebrow, she added, “It's not like we were close.”

“Please.” Sabine rolled her eyes. “Stop pretending there was nothing going on there.”

Hera squeezed the sandwich she was holding so hard she left imprints in the bread. Embarrassed, she put it on her tray. Maybe she was more frustrated with Kanan than she realized, but it wasn't fair to snap at Sabine. She took a deep breath. “It wasn't anything serious. And he can take care of himself.”

“Yeah, I guess. But if she's telling the truth…” Sabine trailed off, and Hera remembered Ahsoka’s warning.

“Then we have bigger things to worry about.” Kanan was an adult, and he probably knew the risks better than they did. It was Ezra who needed help. 

Neither said much as they ate. Other parts of the conversation with Ahsoka replayed in Hera’s mind. How did she know so much about her life? Who else was watching her? And just how was Ahsoka connected to Kanan and Ezra?

As a TA and advisor, Ahsoka never just gave the answers away, and Hera had a feeling this situation was no different.

Meals finished, she and Sabine sat in silence for a long time before Sabine spoke.

“So what now?” 

Hera picked up her tray. “I think we should find Chopper. You said this was a family affair, so we might as well get the whole family on board.”

\---

Hera thought she knew stress before, but she was wrong. 

Life was simpler back when Jedi were the stuff of legend; when Ahsoka was just a graduate advisor and the team was just working on a school project. Now, she spent her waking hours worrying about her friends, watching her back, and waiting for the next call from Ezra or Sabine. 

On top of all that, exams had her replacing sleep with caffeine, and when she did get to bed, sleep did not come easily.

Hera shut her eyes tight, focusing on Rae’s not-quite-snores from the other side of the room. _Inhale. Exhale._ The pattern was predictable, unlike Hera’s life. She rolled onto her back. 

Ezra was doing exactly what she'd expect from a teenage boy on the run. Sighing inwardly, she recalled their last conversation. Hera couldn't decide which was worse: leaving Ezra on his own to fall in with the wrong people and steal cars, or taking the team to him and attracting more attention. Would the team even go with her? And if she met up with him, what could she really do? She didn't know how to help a Jedi.

At least Ezra kept in touch, but every time they spoke, she worried it might be the last. Chopper kept abreast of the ISB, but information on Inquisitors was scarce and Hera had no doubt that they could be untraceable. 

Even Ahsoka hadn't encountered one, but she suspected Inquisitors had powers like Jedi, as well as powers the Jedi dared not tap into. Ahsoka’s suspicions were usually right. 

If it _was_ an Inquisitor they met that night, it was a wonder Zeb and Okadiah had made it out alive. And if Inquisitors could use the Force, why did this one have a gun? Maybe it was luck, but Hera suspected the ISB was sending a targeted message. No one would bat an eye if the owner of a seedy bar and his bouncer got shot, but this was an attempt to lure Kanan out of hiding. Next time, they might be less reserved. 

 _I'm supposed to be sleeping,_ she reminded herself. _Think of flying. First, the inspection..._

But she couldn't even go through the steps. _Is Ezra using a fake name? Is Okadiah doing his physical therapy? Ahsoka has to be a Jedi, too. Are vector fields going to be on the multivar calc final?_

She was almost grateful when her phone vibrated under her pillow. Then the fear set in. Her heart started to pound as she pulled the blanket over her head to check her messages. 

It was Chopper. _U up?_

She let out her breath. _Very funny,_ she replied. 

_Wanna grab breakfast?_

It was 5:30. At this point, sleep wasn't going to happen. _Sure_.

She dressed as quietly as she could and left for the diner, sneaking glances over her shoulder on her way to the car. Everyone on the road behind her seemed to be following her until they turned, and when she finally arrived, she was wired. 

Chopper’s face went grim when Hera approached the table. Her heart pounded hard again. _He would have told me right away if someone died_ , she thought. 

“Already got your caf,” he said, pointing at the mug and pot across from him. Hera sat, poured herself a cup, and drained it without putting it down. It was almost too hot but she didn't care. The mug was just a formality.

Chopper’s frown deepened as she poured herself another. “You didn't sleep.” 

“Finals,” she said. 

Chopper hesitated. “Then maybe this should wait until next week.” 

Hera hadn't seen him nervous in ages, and her stomach turned. The coffee didn't help.

“No,” she said, adding cream to give her stomach something to do. “If you've found something, I need to know now.” 

“It's not exactly new information. Just something relevant to you, specifically.” 

 _Relevant to me?_ Hera frowned. What was that supposed to mean? If Chopper had intel on Ezra or the Inquisitors, he would have told everyone. 

A stray thought probed at her. _Something on Kanan’s whereabouts?_ But that wasn't relevant to her—Ahsoka was the one who wanted to find Kanan. _And that_ would _be new information, seeing as no one’s heard anything since he left._

Chopper grimaced and reached into his pocket. 

“Good morning! My name’s Angie and I'll be your server today. Do you know what you want or do you need another minute?” 

Hera nearly jumped out of her seat at the server’s perky voice.

Chopper pasted a grin on his face and slapped the table with both hands. “Good morning! I would like the bacon combo platter with extra hash browns.” 

He was being way too obvious. Hera didn't understand how he could even fake that level of energy. She couldn't muster his appetite, either.

“Oatmeal, please,” she said. “With a small fruit cup.” 

“Coming right up.” Their server pointed to the carafe. “How are you doing on caf?”

Hera drained the last of it into her mug. “A refill would be great.”

“Sure thing.” The server went off with the pot and Chopper raised his eyebrows. 

“You're going to give yourself a heart attack,” he said. 

Hera shook her head and took another sip. “I've built up a tolerance. Now what did you find?”

Chopper swallowed. “I'm deep into their records. Old stuff, stuff other people might overlook. You have no idea the patience and attention to detail it takes to find anything on their system.”

“Don't be so dramatic,” Hera said. But his quiet voice put her on edge even more than his words. 

He reached into his pocket once more, then looked at the kitchen. “Maybe you should eat something first.” 

“I'm fine.” But her stomach rumbled and Chopper gave her a look. The server came back before she could protest. 

“Here's your fruit and coffee. The rest of your food will be right up,” she said with a smile. 

The lack of sleep was making Hera grouchy, and food would probably help. She ate a piece of melon, pleased that it was fresh and juicy. Good meiloorun always cheered her up a little. 

The rest of their food came out, and Hera found her appetite. 

“So you were up all night studying?” Chopper asked. 

“Trying to.” Hera poured a little milk on her oatmeal. “Rae was kind enough to quiz me in Chemistry but I'm not sure I'm ready.”

“You are.” Chopper scarfed down his hash browns. “Wish I could help. You set one little fire and suddenly you're not welcome in the lab anymore.”

“Maybe because you weren't even taking a chemistry class,” Hera pointed out, finishing her fruit.

“Speaking of, did they ever replace that lab bench?” 

Hera tapped her spoon on her bowl. “You're stalling.”

Chopper grimaced and reached into his pocket again. “Guilty. Here.” He handed her a piece of paper. “I printed it local, totally secure. Burn after reading. Or something.”

Hera raised an eyebrow, unfolding the crinkled piece of paper. _“Strategic Victories”_ was printed at the top, followed by a list of names and places. The ones at the top didn't look familiar. She scanned the list until her own last name popped out at her.

_Syndulla’s wife - Ryloth_

Her blood pounded in her ears. That couldn't be a coincidence. The date of the last update was marked, and her body went cold. It was the year her mother died. 

It was the start of the monsoon season when the truck had collided with her parents’ car. Oil on the road, the police had determined. The truck driver—Edmund Darresh—didn't have time to react. Her mother didn't even make it to the hospital, and neither did Darresh. Her father had only minor injuries, but he was never the same. 

It was an accident. Everyone said it was an accident. 

“They didn't even use her first name.” 

“I know.” Chopper took a deep breath. “What do you think it means?”

Hera didn't have an answer. She looked up at Chopper, touched by the concern in his eyes.

Their server placed the bill on their table. “Don't study too hard,” she said. “You're both too young to look so serious.” 

Hera managed a smile, folding Chopper’s print out in her lap. “Thank you.”

“Go ahead and take that up whenever you're ready. Have a great day!” 

Hera reached for the bill but Chopper snatched it first. 

“My treat,” he said. He took it to the register, leaving Hera with her thoughts.

It had never occurred to her that her mother’s death could have been intentional. Her father was had spent years fending off political critique from the ISB, but to think that they would go that far…

Darresh’s family had come to her mother’s funeral. He had a wife and three small children—she could still see their faces. They had been sad and genuine, comforting Hera in their shared grief. Had he been some kind of secret martyr for the Empire? It didn't make sense. 

Chopper returned, his lips set in a thin line. He wasn't much of a nurturer, but just being there was enough. She recalled his question.

“I think it means I'll be making a trip home this summer.”

Chopper’s eyes went wide. “You mean—”

She nodded. “I need to talk to my father.”

Maybe he would have the answers she needed. She just hoped Ezra could keep himself safe until she had them. 


	14. Half A Million Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when a would-be Jedi with self-confidence issues tries to train a snarky Force-sensitive runaway?

Living out of his car was never going to be a permanent solution, but within a week of picking up Ezra, it had become unsustainable. Kanan hadn't had a decent night of sleep in days, but he couldn't blame that on Ezra. At least he could blame Ezra for his headache.

“You need to lay off the body spray,” Kanan groaned. He cracked a window.

Ezra snorted from the backseat. “Gotta do something to cover up your stench. Ever heard of deodorant? Laundry detergent? _Soap_?”

Ezra was right. Kanan couldn't stand his own smell, either. He had dumped his liquor, thrown out the bottles, and gathered his dirtiest clothes into a bag, but at this point the odor had permeated the car. There was only so much freshening up he could do in gas station bathrooms, and adding another body didn't help.

“I never said being a Jedi was glamorous.” 

“You haven't said much about being a Jedi, period,” grumbled Ezra. 

Another good point. It was getting easier to say the word _Jedi_ but Kanan was amazed Ezra was still with him. He would have killed for even a truck stop shower but he was afraid Ezra would take off if he left him alone for more than a couple of minutes.

Ezra hadn't run, so why _wasn't_ Kanan sharing anything?

 _Because I haven't opened up to anyone since Master Billaba died._ Those nights with Hera didn't count. 

He hadn't really spoken to anyone about the Force at all since his Master died. It wasn't for lack of opportunity. _I should have left the moment I saw Ahsoka_ , he thought. But even then, something had told him she wasn't a threat. 

He grimaced. Even when he was running from the Force, he couldn't escape it. 

“Hey, when I was your age, I spent two weeks on a cargo ship,” said Kanan. 

Ezra rolled his eyes in the rear view mirror. “And look how far you've come.” 

It was obnoxious how often Ezra was right. Kanan had been through worse, but the memory of the ship and his current dilemma had him longing for his tidy room and sparkling shower. 

“Give me a break. I taught you how to meditate,” said Kanan.

“Because I couldn't have learned _that_ from some self-help book in the library.”

Kanan exhaled hard through his nose. “I told you, that's different. Meditation has saved my life too many times to count. It's how I kept my hidden for so long.”

“I know, I know, but it still doesn't make sense. Using the Force to hide the Force?” Ezra groaned again. “My brain hurts.”

“Maybe you need to focus harder.”

Ezra wrinkled his nose. “And maybe I _could_ if it didn't smell like a locker room in here.”

“A Jedi can focus anywhere.” Even Kanan was surprised how easily he could regurgitate the vague platitudes the Jedi Masters spouted at the Academy.

“But I'm not a Jedi! I don't know anything about the Force.” Ezra paused, letting his words set in. “I'm beginning to think you don't, either.”

It was nothing worse than he had thought himself, but coming from someone else it was a blow. What _did_ he know about the Force? If he had ever learned anything useful, he'd spent the past 8 years forgetting it. 

Was Ezra really better off with him? Kanan had nothing to offer. Just broken promises and incomplete training. 

Then again, Ezra had tried to hold the wrong end of the soldering gun when he was working on Kanan’s car.

“Okay,” said Kanan. There was a forest near the off ramp ahead. That would work. He shifted lanes abruptly and took the exit.

“ _Okay_? What are you doing?”

“We’re going to go train.”

At this, Ezra sat up straight. “Finally! With lightsabers and everything?”

“I told you, those were just for ceremonies,” Kanan grumbled, tightening his grip on the wheel.

“Yeah, but you have one, don't you?” 

He had been avoiding answering these sorts of questions. If Ezra ran off—if he was captured—he could reveal secrets to the ISB. But Ezra deserved something. 

“Look, I never finished my training, okay? I'm not a Jedi Master, I'm not even a Knight. I was just an Apprentice.” He hoped that Ezra would drop the lightsaber question, at least for now. 

Ezra was silent for once. Maybe this was it and he was going to bail. Kanan wouldn't have blamed him. He had never said he was a Jedi Master, but if Ezra was expecting a real teacher, he'd be better off without Kanan.

“What happened?” Ezra asked, his voice quiet.

At least he wasn't angry. But it was a much longer story than Kanan was ready to tell. 

Kanan took a deep breath. “My Master was killed when I was about your age.” Just admitting it made him feel freer somehow. “I've been on the run ever since. So you should just lower your expectations right now."

Ezra let it sink in for a moment, then he shook his head. “Master, Apprentice, Knight…none of that means anything to me. All I know is I can use the Force, and so can you. You're all I've got, so whatever you can teach me, I want to learn.”

 _So the kid can be practical_ , he thought. “Then let's see if some fresh air helps you clear your mind.”

Within seconds of getting out of the car, Ezra was halfway up a tree. He scaled the trees with superhuman jumps, feet barely touching a branch before reaching the next. Kanan blinked in shock. _This kid’s faster than you ever were._ But that was good and bad. 

“Feels good to stretch my legs!” Ezra called, as if he was just going for a stroll.

Kanan smirked. “You've got raw power and speed, sure. But what you lack is—”

“Oh, crap!” As if on cue, Ezra miscalculated a step. He crashed through the lower brush, barely grabbing a branch in time to keep himself from landing face-first in the dirt. 

“—control,” Kanan finished. 

Ezra dropped to the ground. He panted until he caught his breath. “Okay, maybe you have a point.” 

“That flashy stuff might have worked last century, but the only thing that's kept me alive is stealth,” said Kanan. He knelt on the ground and let some dirt slip between his fingers. The ground hadn't been traveled in months, so it was as safe a place as anywhere.

“You said I was fast.” But despite his complaints, Ezra copied him, mirroring his stance.

“Speed is good, but it's not enough. You have to know the Force like you know you're breathing. You don't think about it; you just breathe.”

Ezra frowned, taking a deep breath in. He went still for several seconds, eyes darting around the forest until he let his breath out in a big puff. “Okay, I got it, don't think too hard about breathing. But how do I know something I can't see?"

Kanan wondered what his old Master would have said. He had no clue, but she always seemed to answer his questions with more questions. “How did you climb those trees earlier?”

“I dunno, I just jumped.”

Kanan shrugged. “There you go.”

Ezra blinked. “That doesn't make any sense.” 

It had sounded better in Kanan’s head. “What I'm trying to say is you're already doing it. You just aren't aware of it.”

Ezra’s frown deepened. “So you're saying I have to become _aware_ of The Force...so that I can use it _without_ thinking?” 

 _Shit. How did Master Billaba do this?_ He shook his head. “Something like that. Just close your eyes and focus on your breath.”

“I thought you said not to think about breathing.” 

“Don't _think_ about it,” Kanan snapped. “Listen to it. Feel it.”

Ezra grunted something unintelligible, but he obliged and closed his eyes. 

“Quiet your mind,” Kanan said, sensing Ezra’s nerves. 

“It was a lot easier when I was up in a tree.”

Kanan laughed. “I thought I was going easy on you. My Master made me do this stuff while balancing upside down on one finger.” But maybe Ezra was onto something. 

And that's how Kanan found himself perched on a thin tree branch facing Ezra on another, hoping that his hunch was right. 

“The Force flows through all living things,” he said. Mantras like that had been drilled into his head since before he learned the alphabet. “It connects us.” 

“Is it what's stopping me from falling right now?” asked Ezra. “Because this branch is not big enough to support me.” His voice was steadier now, but he gripped his branch with both hands and gritted his teeth. 

“You'll have to let go to find out.” 

Ezra opened his eyes to gape at Kanan. “No way.”

“My branch is smaller than yours and I weigh more,” Kanan pointed out, folding his arms across his chest.

Ezra pursed his lips and closed his eyes again. Slowly, he lifted one hand, then the other. Crouching on his toes, he relaxed his arms and breathed. Kanan couldn't stop himself from smiling. This was all Ezra. It probably had nothing to do with his attempt at teaching, but he was still a little proud.

“Crap!” 

He felt Ezra slip before the branch cracked. Kanan reached for him but only grabbed air as Ezra tumbled to the ground. 

 _That's what I get for getting cocky_ , thought Kanan. At least he had chosen a low branch. He jumped down, bending his knees with the landing. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Ezra croaked. He stood and dusted himself off. “Just fine.” 

Nothing looked broken. “If it makes you feel better, I broke my collarbone when I first tried it.”

“Sounds like a really great way to learn,” Ezra mumbled, rubbing his shoulder. 

Kanan frowned. Looking at the sky between the trees, he recalled something Master Billaba had told him. _When the Force is with you, you have no need for fear._

“Guess the Force isn't with either of us right now,” he said under his breath. He hoped Ezra didn't hear that. 

Leaves rustled, and he turned his head to find Ezra already halfway up another tree. 

“Okay,” said Ezra to himself. “Breathe. I am one with the Force.”

 _Or maybe it's just me who's afraid_. He pushed the thought aside _._ “Right. Feel it running through you.”

Ezra's mind was still. He balanced on his toes and breathed. _Maybe the kid’s a natural,_ Kanan thought.

Until Ezra's phone vibrated. Ezra yelped. He lost his balance, fingernails scraping at the branch as he fell. 

“Okay, new rule,” Kanan said. “Turn your phone off while you meditate.”

“But it's Sabine. What if she has important news? What if the ISB is right behind us?” Ezra dusted himself off once more and pulled out his phone, which still looked to be in one piece.”

“I'll feel them coming, and if you can manage to stand still for a couple minutes, then so will you.” 

“She wants to arrange a time to call,” said Ezra, ignoring him. 

“And that's another thing. It's great that your friends are trying to help us, but—”

Ezra kept pretending not to hear him. “She says sometime after Hera gets back.”

“What?” Kanan couldn't remember what he was going to say. “Where did Hera go?”

Ezra looked up from his phone. “She didn't say. Why do you care?”

 _Another good question._ He shook his head. “Because I don't want your friends getting dragged into this. If they get caught, we’ll have to bail them out and then we’ll all be screwed."

“They said they can take care of themselves. Besides, if they get into trouble they can just come find us.” 

“And lead the ISB straight to us? Bad idea,” Kanan muttered. The headache was back. He headed back to the car.

“Does this mean training is over for today?”

“You can keep practicing in the car.” He and Ezra climbed back in, the smell extra offensive compared to the forest air. 

Where _was_ Hera? She had told him she was staying on campus for the summer. Had something happened to her? 

 _She can take care of herself,_ he reminded himself. Sabine didn't seem worried, and it was none of his business anyway. He just had to keep Ezra away from the ISB.

The thought hit him in the gut. When had _that_ happened? 

It was just self-preservation. Ezra was a liability. They were all liabilities. He should have just—

“That tree was over 50 years old,” Ezra said. “I could feel it.”

Kanan raised his eyebrows. “Good. You're listening.” Maybe Ezra wouldn't need much help. He'd catch up quickly and they could part ways in good conscience. 

“Almost as old as you,” Ezra added.

Kanan rubbed his temples. He really wanted a drink. “You know I'm 22.”

“I know that's what you said, but that beard says otherwise.” Ezra said. “If I trust my feelings…”

“Look.” It came out louder than Kanan intended, and he winced as his head throbbed. “I think we've put enough distance between us and them to take a little break. There's a town not too far from here. I'll find a gym to shower—”

“About time,” Ezra cut in. Kanan rolled his eyes.

“—and we can do laundry.”

Ezra pointed at a stain on the backseat. “Do they make a car wash for the inside of a car, though?”

“You don't smell great, either, you know.”

But underneath his protests, Ezra already had a point. Either Kanan would have to become a much better teacher or they'd have to find a longer-term solution for life on the run. He had a sinking feeling that one way or another, they were running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I'd get a chapter out before the end of the year, and the year ends tomorrow, so...NAILED IT! Next time, Hera confronts her father, but I promise she and Kanan will reunite soon.
> 
> In the meantime, here's an incomplete list of songs that have inspired this story.
> 
> Half A Million - The Shins  
> Mind Over Matter - Young the Giant  
> Sugar - Maroon 5  
> Closer - Chainsmokers/Halsey  
> Style - Taylor Swift  
> Shut Up And Dance - Walk The Moon (unofficial Kanera theme song)  
> Starving - Hailee Steinfeld  
> Everyday - Magic Man  
> There's Nothin’ Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes  
> Lay It All On Me - Vance Joy  
> Something to Believe In - Young the Giant


	15. We'll Get Together Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera finally makes it home to Ryloth for some answers, but her father has questions of his own.

Ryloth hadn't changed much on the surface, but it wasn't all bad. Hera did miss the mountains. Despite spending her childhood there, it was still impressive to go from dust and rock to lush and green within an hour. 

She missed the warm nights in the heart of the city, too. Once the sun set in Lothal, she needed a jacket no matter the season. 

Hera did not miss the giant insects, nor did she miss the stress that came with visiting her father.

It wasn't always stressful. Back when she was a little girl and her father was on the city council, she and her mother met him for lunch once a week during the summer. Back then, they ate dinner as a family almost every night and went camping every few months. She doubted he had taken a vacation since she left.

Great Aunt Nowa hadn’t asked many questions when she took Hera in. Now, Hera wondered how much she had known, and how many secrets had died with her. Almost two years had passed since her funeral, and the last time Hera saw her father. They'd barely spoken. 

This was her chance. Even in the best of times, Hera and her father had never enjoyed the open communication she and her mother had shared, but the least he could do was tell her the truth about what happened. There was no way he believed the lie he had told her. 

It was well after quitting time, but if she knew her father, he would still be in his office. Even before he devoted himself to politics, he was a fleeting presence during campaign season. 

She parked near the courthouse—the meters went unchecked after 5 o’clock but there were only a couple of cars on the street. His new office was in the building next door.

His door was marked in simple lettering: _Cham Syndulla, Mayor_. She had sent him a congratulatory text when she'd heard the news. Hera had no doubt her father was a good mayor. 

The door was locked but the lights were on and she had a feeling someone (probably her father himself) was always there. No one sat at the tiny desk that she could see through the window, but there was a comm unit on the door. Hera pushed the button and heard a buzz. 

She waited for what felt like ages before a voice came over the comm. 

“State your business.” It was not her father. 

“I'm here to speak to Cham Syndulla,” said Hera. 

Another pause. “Please come back tomorrow at 8 o’clock and the Mayor will be happy to address your concerns.”

That didn't sound like her father’s policy at all. No concern was too small and he was always on duty. Was something wrong?

“Tell him it's his daughter and I can pick this lock, so I'm getting in one way or another,” Hera growled. 

“Hera?” The voice sounded surprised, but the lock clicked open. Hera pushed the door, glad she wouldn't need to resort to breaking and entering.

Who was the voice on the comm? Hera doubted her father talked about her to his staff. He wouldn't know what to say— _My daughter likes macaroni and cheese and pretends her dolls are rebel spies._

A female twi’lek, bluer than Hera, rushed down the hall to greet her. “Hera? The Mayor didn't say you were coming.”

“I didn't tell him,” Hera said. She tried to place the face. One of her former classmates, a bit younger... “Numa?”

Numa blinked. “You have a good memory. It's been almost a decade.”

“You work for my father now?”

Numa nodded. “It's a summer internship. Mayor Syndulla has his hands full with _this_ campaign.”

“ _This_ campaign?” Hera echoed. He always had his hands full—he wouldn't know what to do otherwise. 

She didn't miss Numa’s hesitation—something was going on. “It's been especially nasty, that's all.” Numa said. 

Hera let it slide for the moment. She’d grill her father about it later. “Where is his office?” She could find it herself but now that Numa had let her in, there was no need for hostility.

Numa nodded and led her down the hall to a meeting room. Half a dozen twi’leks stared as they passed, giving Hera the sense that she was interrupting something. She recognized most of the faces. Her father's people were loyal. 

They stopped at a small office in the corner. The door was closed but Hera could see (and hear) her father talking on the phone while hunched over a laptop. Hera knocked on the door.

Her father looked up, eyes widening when they met hers. Hera pushed open the door just as he said, “I'll call you back about that soon.” He hung up without any fanfare. “Hera. This is unexpected. Had I known you were coming, I would have met you at the door.”

Hera waved him off. “It's fine. Numa let me in.” 

She looked behind her, but Numa was already gone. The door closed, leaving them in tense silence. 

“It's been a long time. You look well,” he said. He stood and walked around to the front of his desk. “How is school going?”

“Fine,” Hera replied.

“I'm not surprised. You were always a good student.” He smiled. “I don't suppose you're here because you want to transfer to Ryloth.”

Hera sighed and shook her head. This discussion again. He had been so willing to ship her off and then he had been hurt when she didn't come back. What was she supposed to think?

“You know they don't have an engineering program,” she said. 

“And you still haven't considered changing majors,” her father replied.

Hera responded with a huff. For a moment, she thought of Numa. _Now he has the daughter he always wanted,_ she thought. 

Before she could say something she'd regret, her father went on. “Do they teach you how to pick locks in engineering school or did you pick that up on your own?”

So he _had_ heard her over the comm. She couldn't help but smirk. “No, Chopper taught me.” 

Her father groaned. “I should have known. Aunt Nowa told me he was a troublemaker. Do you still see him?”

“All the time.”

“You two aren't getting married, are you?” he asked carefully.

Hera's eyes went wide. “Of course not! What gave you that idea?”

Her father let out a sigh of relief. “Well, you haven't been home in five years and here you are, unannounced. A father does wonder.”

“I’m not getting married any time soon,” she said, folding her arms across her chest. It just showed how little he knew about her life. “Besides, I didn't come here to catch up.”

“All right.” If her father was hurt, he didn't show it. He mirrored her posture. “Business it is, then. Why _are_ you here?”

Hera took a deep breath. “I came to talk to you about Mom.”

Her father’s expression was unreadable. “I see.”

“Can we talk here?” Hera gestured to the window behind her and something seemed to register in her father’s eyes. Her heart sank. Even though she knew he had lied, the confirmation was still devastating. “I'm guessing they know more about her death than I do,” she muttered.

“Only two of them,” he said, as if his words didn't sting. “But we should talk at home.”

Hera glanced at a couch in the corner. A rumpled blanket was pushed against one side. “Seems like neither of us lives there anymore.”

Her father chuckled. “You have me there.” He walked back around to his laptop and checked the screen.

“I've waited this long. I can wait a little longer,” said Hera, sitting down on his couch. It sounded impatient and immature, so she added, “I know you have work to do.”

Her father frowned but kept working. Resisting the temptation to check her phone, she folded her hands in her lap and watched him type.

Minutes of muffled conversations and key tapping passed and guilt began to creep into her conscience. The tension seemed higher than normal. She felt like a petulant child, but he owed her an explanation and she’d wait all night or longer if she had to. Vague worries about Sabine’s safety nagged at her, but Ahsoka wouldn't let anything happen.

Hera hadn't agreed to anything Ahsoka seemed to have planned. Like her father, Ahsoka gave only bits and pieces of information, as if Hera didn't have the proper security clearance. All the questions and secrets left her brain full of static. 

“All right. I think I can call it a night.” 

Hera blinked. Her eyes had gone dry staring at her father. “But it's only 9 o’clock,” she said in mock surprise. 

“I know,” her father replied with a smile. “I'll just get up earlier tomorrow.”

How many times had she told Chopper the same thing? She brushed it aside and stood. “I'm parked right outside.”

“Give me a moment,” he said, closing his laptop and packing it up. Hera followed him to the door and watched as he addressed his people. “Thanks for all of your hard work tonight. Get some rest and we’ll regroup in the morning to discuss campaign strategy. I'll bring breakfast.”

He was being deliberately vague for Hera’s sake.

“All right, but we have just a bit more to do on the emergency preparedness plan,” said one of the older staffers.

“You're a good man, Kallon,” said her father. He turned to another staffer. Hera remembered him being close with both of her parents. “Glie, lock up when everyone is finished.”

Gobi Glie nodded and smiled at Hera, but went back to the schematics on the table in front of him. 

“Six o’clock, Mayor?” asked Numa. There was nothing insincere about her question.

Hera’s father smiled. “Bright and early.”

Hera and her father walked back down the dim hallway to the front door. “That's a dedicated group you have,” she said. 

“They're passionate about this city and our people’s rights,” he replied. 

 _Unlike my daughter._ Hera finished the sentence for him in her mind. “Do you still take the bus to work?” she asked. 

“Of course. How can I claim to support our local transit if I don't use it?”

“I just wanted to see if you needed a ride,” Hera muttered. 

“If you don't mind.” They got into Hera's car and he pointed ahead. “It's a left at the signal.”

“I remember.”

“I wasn't sure. It's been a very long time,” her father said. 

Hera had no reply. She had been too on edge to listen to the radio on the drive down, so they sat in silence. Hera made the turn, then followed the route to the highway. _Just like old times,_ she thought. _Except I was the one in the passenger seat._

“So,” her father began. “ _Are_ you seeing anyone?”

Hera groaned. “No.” More silence.

“But you have friends?”

“Yes.”

Her father made a grunt she guessed meant he approved. “Do you still fly?”

“Not often.”

“Pity.”

For someone who never checked in, he was awfully nosy. At least they were almost to the house. 

She wasn't prepared for the rush of emotion she felt pulling into the driveway. It felt like coming home after the funeral, coming home from school, coming to visit five years ago and dreading it. Her father had nothing else to say and she wondered what memories he was wrestling. 

She didn't ask.

Inside, the house was clean, but dust lined every surface. Her father switched on a light, and her parents and a younger version of herself stared her down from a picture on the wall.

It must have been painful for her father to come here, too. Had it felt so haunted last time she visited? Or was it just the truth haunting her?

They both stared at the picture, and they both spoke at the same moment.

“Why didn't you tell me what really happened?”

“How did you find out?”

Silence fell again, and her father sat down on the couch. “You were so young.”

“That was a long time ago. You've had lots of chances to tell me.”

“Have I?” He frowned. “I get a text from you once a year if I'm lucky, and a visit every few years.”

Hera crossed her arms. “You haven't exactly reached out to me, either.”

Her father sighed. “I wanted to tell you. The timing just never seemed right, and it was so long ago. I thought it would be better if you just moved on.”

“How can I move on from my own family?” she asked. Traces of her native dialect slipped back. She hadn't wanted to get off topic, but she couldn't resist. “You were so happy to ship me off to Aunt Nowa’s, I figured it was easier not to have me around.”

“It was for your protection!” her father protested, his voice rising. “It wasn't supposed to be forever.” 

“Protection from what?” Hera's question hung in the air and she took a deep, calming breath. “You were waiting for the right time to tell me. Tell me now.”

Her father nodded, and Hera took a seat in the chair across from him. His old chair. 

“You're right. I should have told you the truth to begin with. You were always mature for your age.” He sighed. “Tann’s death was not an accident. She was killed in a Separatist operation, targeting our family.”

Hera recoiled. “Separatists? But the ISB records said—”

“How did you get access to ISB records?” Now it was her father who looked shocked. “Don't tell me—Chopper?”

“Don't worry about it. Keep going.” 

Her father frowned again but continued. “ _Separatist_ was just what they called themselves in public. They were gathering power throughout the country, and they didn't like the idea of twi’lek representation on the Ryloth council. They didn’t like your mother speaking out against them, either.”

“I remember. They tried to smear you, make us into something to fear. But the Separatist party hasn't been around since…” _Since just after Mom died_. “What happened?”

“I begged for an official investigation, a trial, anything, but no one would listen. In the end, the only people who would help me were…” Her father trailed off and Hera’s mind was buzzing again. “I was sworn to secrecy, but no one would have believed me if I told.”

That wasn’t an excuse for not telling his daughter, but a wave of deja vu surrounded her. “Try me,” she said. “I've heard a lot of unbelievable things lately.”

He looked her right in the eyes. “It was the Jedi Order that helped me.”

The static cleared, replaced by a chill on her back.

Of course it was the Jedi. Hera sank into the chair and let her father’s words replay in her mind. 

“You don’t look all that surprised to hear that Jedi existed in your lifetime,” said her father, shaking her from her silence.

“I saw ISB records, remember?” It was the best cover she could come up with. “What did the Jedi do?”

“A man named Mace Windu investigated personally. He was high up in the Jedi organization, whatever their system was. He knew the ISB was controlling the Separatists, and he uncovered more plots to take out those who might stand in their way.” He took a deep breath. “He discovered that they used the driver—Darresh—to carry out their plan. They took over his mind, made him crash his truck.”

And that was it. Her mother had died in a plot to silence dissent. Innocents used in a cover up. And it meant there _were_ people within the ISB who could use the Force. Ahsoka was right. Ahsoka was always right.

“Who took over his mind?” 

Her father shook his head. “The Jedi were betrayed by one of their own. Maybe more than one. I don’t know all the details, but the ISB were pulling strings on both sides. People were jailed, some renounced their parties, and many just disappeared. When the dust settled, the ISB was pushed to the fringes, but the Separatists and the Jedi were gone. Ryloth was safe.”

It sounded like he had recounted this story before, maybe to his trusted associates. Hera shook her head. There were too many missing pieces.

“But what about Mace Windu? What about the Jedi?” she asked. 

“Master Windu was killed, along with the other Jedi I met,” her father said, looking away. “I don’t know what happened, but there were rumors that the rest of the Jedi met the same fate.”

Hera sucked in a deep breath. Even though the rumor couldn't be entirely true, it put Kanan’s behavior in a different light. It certainly put her mother’s death in a new light. Ryloth had gotten caught in the crossfire of a greater plot, and her mother and Darresh had been mere pawns. It was worse than senseless, but they weren't the only casualties. 

“There has to be more to it,” she said. “You know the ISB is still around.”

“They are,” her father replied. “But while the Jedi and the ISB were fighting amongst themselves, my people were working to keep the power on, and keep all our children safe. Ryloth mattered as little to the Jedi as it did to the Separatists. Just another piece of a strategy. Tann never mattered to any of them.”

There was truth to his words, but the pessimism stung. Maybe the Jedi (or what was left of them) were only out to survive, but there was always hope. 

Her father went on. “The people of Ryloth resist the Imperial Party because we value each other, not the Force or money or power.”

“But you said the Jedi helped you when no one else would,” Hera pointed out. “The Jedi have always helped people.”

“Don’t be swayed by the old stories. The Jedi thought they were infallible. They were doomed to fail, even I could see it. I accepted their help but I could never trust them.”

It almost sounded like he thought they deserved what they got, which left a sick feeling in Hera’s stomach. 

The Jedi she knew weren’t trustworthy either, but even though Kanan was cocky, he was all too aware of his faults. Ezra thought he was invincible, but so did every kid his age. Ahsoka—she had to be a Jedi, too—shrouded herself in mystery, but her intentions were good. 

One thing was certain. “You should have told me sooner,” she said.

Her father was silent for a long time. He looked from Hera to the family portrait on the wall. “You’re right, and I apologize. If there is anything I can do to begin to make it up to you, I would like to hear it.”

That was a first. Hera didn’t know where to start. Was that everything he knew? Did his staff know everything? Had Aunt Nowa known? But before she could ask, her father had a question of his own.

“But I must know, why now? Is everything all right in Lothal?” When Hera didn’t respond right away, added, “Why were you looking into ISB records?”

Hera remembered Numa’s worried expression when she’d mentioned this campaign. “Dad, why is this election worse than usual?”

Neither needed an answer, because the answers to all of their questions were the same: ISB activity was on the rise. But now, Hera had ideas instead of static. They were probably the same ideas Ahsoka had. It was time to tell Ahsoka she was in. It was time to go to Ezra. Toughest of all, it was time to try and find Kanan. 

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, Hera,” said her father. He looked at her backpack and smiled wistfully. “I could always use another sharp mind in the office. But I get the feeling that you won’t stay long.” 

Hera wasn't going to stay to be his political understudy. She might have considered staying just to be his daughter, if he only asked, but she had her own mission.

“Just the night,” she said. “But there _is_ something you can do for me.”

“Anything,” he said.

“Did you ever sell our old camper?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hera's mom does not have a name in canon. This is so upsetting to me. According to http://twileklore.nimanet.org/?page_id=20, Tann means "Hope" and it seemed fitting. 
> 
> So, how about that mid-season trailer?


	16. Two Steps Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Progress is slow for Kanan and Ezra, but the Force has a way of pushing things along.

Ezra couldn't seem to focus. The sun had set hours ago and they were the only people around for miles, but his mind was still elsewhere. He'd been like that for days. Kanan wasn't sure if Ezra was frustrated or just nervous, but nothing he did seemed to help.

“Try it again,” Kanan said. Cool breeze and the sunset had tempered the summer heat. He'd hoped that would make it easier for Ezra to focus, but it didn't seem to make a difference. He threw out one of the old platitudes. “Let the Force flow through you.” 

“I thought I was,” mumbled Ezra. “You make it sound so simple but you don't really explain it.”

“Maybe you're making it harder than it needs to be.” Kanan let the Force envelope him, then release him again. Ezra was probably right. He couldn't remember when he'd mastered hiding his presence. It probably wasn't until after the Jedi purge. Necessity was a cruel but effective teacher.

“Okay.” Ezra perched himself on a large rock and closed his eyes. He breathed in and out as his mind quieted. It was progress, but Kanan could still sense him as plainly as he saw him.

It had been so long since he tried to sense another person that Kanan could hardly distinguish Ezra’s feelings from his own. Doubt, guilt, anxiety...he would have to get his issues under control if he wanted to help Ezra.

“What do you feel?” Kanan asked. 

Ezra took a deep breath and gave it some thought. “A sharp rock under my butt.”

Kanan groaned. “Use the Force.” This time, Ezra reached out further. 

“The wind is coming from the east,” he said after a moment. “It’s salty, and cool. Like it's come all the way from the ocean.”

“Good.” Kanan closed his eyes. “Keep going.”

Ezra’s mind clouded and he faltered. “How do I know I won't connect to something bad?” 

It sounded like something Kanan had asked Master Billaba. She had said she’d chosen him because of his inquisitive nature, but if she could see him now, she'd probably have a good laugh. 

“You might,” Kanan admitted. “It's up to you to recognize it and resist it.”

“But how will I know? You haven't talked much about the Dark Side,” Ezra said. 

Right again. Kanan’s own training had been lacking in that regard. If only he'd had more time. “Every Jedi has to face the Dark Side eventually, in their own way. Some move past it and some fall.”

“Have you faced it?”

That was a tough question. Numbing his mind with alcohol, suppressing his emotions, running away from his problems—all of that could have easily led him down a dark path. But he had never experienced the traditional trials his Master had described. He hadn't gotten the chance. 

“You haven't,” Ezra finished. Kanan blinked in surprise. Ezra had never sensed his thoughts before. More progress, but Kanan felt exposed. 

He closed himself off. “No, I haven't. But I’ve seen what it can do and I don’t want any part of it. Besides, I made it this far, didn't I?”

“You sound sure of yourself,” Ezra said. For once, that wasn’t Kanan’s intention.

“Anything could happen. But,” he sighed and tried to find the words, “using the Force doesn't mean you have no free will. You can steer.” It wasn't a lesson he'd learned at the Academy—this was his from his own experience. Maybe it wasn't what the Old Masters intended but it worked for him. Then again, he had tried to avoid his past for so long and here he was, trying to explain concepts he barely understood. 

“I don't understand.”

Kanan took a deep breath and tried again. “Not everything is so simple as Light and Dark. Everyone makes mistakes and bad calls, but that doesn't mean you're going to fall to the Dark Side.”

“Guess you're living proof of that,” Ezra snorted.

He hadn't told Ezra why there were so few Jedi left yet, but he was going to have to sooner or later. “Quiet your mind and try again.”

Ezra nodded, and he closed his eyes. Kanan followed and let himself slip into meditation. The ground was still and easy, peaceful and calm beneath him, and rattling—

Kanan’s eyes shot open. Someone was coming. Ezra hadn't caught it yet.

“Ezra,” he said. “We need to move.” How did anyone find them? Was it an accident or was this an attack?

Ezra slipped off the rock. “Why? I was getting it.”

“We’re not alone.” He closed his eyes again and reached out beyond the vibrations in the ground. Not hostile. This presence—multiple people—didn’t feel like a threat. A lost family? He couldn't sense anyone strong with the Force, but there was something familiar about them. Almost warm. 

“Already?!” Ezra’s ears were turning red.

Ezra’s guilt crashed into Kanan’s mind again. It had been guilt all along. He was hiding something. “Ezra, what did you do?”

Ezra scratched the back of his neck. “Did I mention we’re having company?” 

“No. You didn't.” Kanan slapped a hand to his forehead. _Hera_. He had never sensed her through the Force before (at least not consciously) but he knew it was her, just as sure as he knew she was going to kill him.

“I didn’t _want_ them to come, but they still think I’m alone out here. Sabine and Hera insisted.” 

Kanan and Ezra had only spent a few hours apart but it must have been enough time to make arrangements. He could only imagine how little convincing it took given the way Ezra acted on the phone with Sabine. 

Then again, Hera could convince Kanan to do just about anything. 

“You didn’t mention me?” asked Kanan. Ezra shook his head in response and Kanan groaned. _That’s going to make it so much worse_. But the worst part was that it wasn’t Ezra’s fault. Kanan only had himself to blame. 

Running was tempting, but Hera, Sabine, and whoever else they brought were getting close and he couldn’t abandon Ezra now. 

“Look,” said Kanan, rubbing at his brow again. “There’s something you should know. There’s a reason I didn’t want your friends knowing about me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Kanan sighed. “I know them. I was in Lothal, too.”

“What?” Ezra’s eyes went wide and his heart sank, taking Kanan’s with it. Kanan couldn’t afford to damage the fragile alliance they had formed in their short time together. He had already burned all his bridges in Lothal, and losing Ezra could be far worse. 

“I went to school with Hera,” he began. Ezra didn’t need the details. “And Sabine, too, I guess, but I only met her once. She asked us for help finding you, and I…”

Ezra looked like he already knew the answer. “You bailed, didn’t you?”

Kanan hung his head. “I bailed.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Ezra tried to blow it off, but he was still hurt. Kanan owed him an apology, an explanation, or even an excuse, but a rumbling in the distance distracted both of them.

A large van was heading their way. Kanan squinted. Was it a camper? _Where did Hera get a camper? How many people did she bring?_

“Did you send them the GPS coordinates or something?” he asked. “Do you have any idea how risky that was?”

“Chopper said it was untraceable,” Ezra said. 

 _Just who we need. Chopper._ “Have you been broadcasting our location this whole time?” 

“Hey, don't change the subject,” yelled Ezra. “You refused to help them and then you lied to me!”

“That was before you found me.” It sounded weak, but he didn't have time to explain it now. It wasn't like he was a different person—it had only been a couple weeks—but Kanan would have been a fool to miss such a clear sign.

The camper came to a stop, headlights shining on them like criminals. The hairs spiked on the back of Kanan’s neck and he didn’t even have to look to know that Hera had seen him. He turned to accept his punishment.

Hera charged at him, lekku rigid and eyes livid. 

Kanan couldn’t help himself. He dug deeper. “Look who just can’t stay away.”

“What are you doing here?” Hera didn’t even play along. “You run off, we hear nothing for over a month, and you’re just here, with Ezra?”

He opened his mouth to explain but Hera cut him off.

“Are you all right, Ezra?” she asked, voice still but noticeably lighter. 

“Fine,” Ezra said, watching the interaction with wide eyes. Kanan made sure he was closed off in case Ezra wanted to flex his empathy again.

“See, he's—” 

Hera cut him off again.

“How long?” she demanded, punctuating each word with a jab to his sternum. 

“Two weeks,” he coughed out. _At this rate, the kid won't need the Force to figure out what's going on_. 

Hera’s eyes went wide. “ _Two weeks_ and it never occurred to you to say something? I know you were listening to those calls.”

“I didn't want—”

She prodded him again, so hard he stumbled back. “And it never occurred to tell me you're a _—”_

“Don't say it!” Kanan had to cut her off. Sabine, Chopper, and Zeb had gathered around them. _She brought the whole family_ , he thought with a groan. They probably all knew, but that didn’t mean she needed to say it out loud. Lowering his voice, he added, “Do we have to do this in front of everyone?” 

“Fine. You can explain yourself in the RV,” Hera said, pointing at the open door.

Chopper shook his head. “Oh, no. You can't leave these two alone for even a second. They can't keep—”

Hera silenced Chopper with a look as Ezra watched with interest. Kanan boarded the van, and Hera slammed the door behind them.

“Did you really think the ISB would just leave us alone if you left?”

This stopped him cold. He turned to look at her. “What happened?”

“Okadiah’s fine now, but—”

“ _What happened_?” he repeated, heart pounding. 

“He got shot, Kanan.” 

The news knocked the wind out of him. He stumbled back into a seat. Okadiah had never hurt anyone. This was all Kanan’s fault. He looked up at Hera again. “Is he okay?”

“You should thank Zeb for getting him out alive. Okadiah was in the hospital for three weeks,” Hera said. Kanan’s eyes went wide. “He's out now but he can't afford physical therapy, let alone the medical bills.”

“Then I'll send him the money,” he said, rolling up his sleeves. 

Hera threw her hands up in the air. “Where do you keep getting this money? Okadiah thinks some loan shark is after you, and now I'm beginning to wonder.”

“It's not like that. I just need to fix this.” The pieces began to fall together. An Inquisitor had tried to take out Zeb to get to Okadiah, all to get to Kanan. It was such a mess. “So if Zeb is with you, where is Okadiah? You didn't leave him alone, did you?”

“Of course not,” Hera scoffed. “He's with his nephew in Gorse, recovering.”

Kanan had never met Okadiah’s nephew, but from what he had heard, he and his wife were good people. Still, if the ISB found them...

“Someone raided your apartment,” Hera went on. “Skelly took off and no one’s seen him since.”

“Shit,” Kanan growled. He had just left Skelly behind with no one to look out for him. When would he learn that running away from his problems always created more? He hoped Skelly was okay.

“Sabine can't get her diploma because there's an agent stationed at the boarding school. Do you know how badly she wants to be rid of that place?” 

Kanan looked up at Hera, heart heavy with guilt. “Did anything happen to you?”

Hera turned away. “I can take care of myself. I _choose_ to take care of other people.” 

Kanan looked down at his lap. “I thought leaving would be better for all of us.”

“Don't pretend this was some noble move,” said Hera. “You were looking out for number one.”

He couldn't argue that. Kanan had left to protect himself, but he thought the ISB would pursue him.  He didn't expect everything to crash and burn in Lothal. “You're right.”

Hera huffed, but followed it with a sigh. She sat down in the seat across from him and he looked up right into her eyes. _Damn, I missed that sight._

“I _know_ , Kanan.” She didn't need to elaborate. For a moment, her glare softened and his breath caught. But it couldn't last forever.  

“So you can see why I ran,” he said.

Hera sighed again and shook her head, breaking eye contact. “I can see why you were scared. But I don't see why you thought running away would help.”

 _It seemed like a good idea at the time._ He wanted to tell her it was how he was raised. He was always looking for an escape; it was in his blood. But all he could offer was, “I found Ezra.”

“Luck,” Hera said. “I’m a little surprised you didn't throw him to the wolves.”

“Hey, give me some credit here.” Not that he deserved any, but he couldn't believe Hera thought he would just leave Ezra to die. Then again, his last days in Lothal weren't his finest. 

“You want me to give you credit for a coincidence?”

“I don't think it was.” He clenched his jaw, running a hand over his mouth. How much could he tell her? “You don't understand.”

Hera sighed. “Of course I don't. You didn't tell me anything—you just disappeared.”

She had him there. He forgot how easy it was to drop his guard around Hera. “Fine. I'm sorry I ran.”

“You're sorry?” Hera frowned. Not the reaction he was hoping for. She turned up her palms. “You're just going to apologize? No explanation?”

Only Hera would fight him on an apology. Kanan couldn't hold himself back. “Sorry, I forgot that it's completely normal to tell your entire life story to someone you hooked up with.” 

It was uncalled for, but Hera just shook her head in exasperation. “We all have secrets. I get that. But this is bigger than you. Ezra was in danger and you just walked away when you could have helped us.”

But she really didn't understand. Kanan’s secret was his life, and it was bigger than Hera could possibly know. 

“I thought I _was_ helping you. I _told_ you not to get involved. And I found Ezra, didn't I?” he said.

Hera snorted in response.

“It _wasn't_ a coincidence,” Kanan growled. He rubbed his forehead hard, pulling at his hairline. 

“Enlighten me, then, Kanan.” She pointed out the window. “This was your plan all along?”

“No.” He let out a loud sigh. “I can't explain it.” 

“You won't even try.”

“There is no try!” he snapped. _Where did that come from?_

Hera sat back, one eyebrow cocked. “What?” 

She had him again. Master Yoda never made sense to him. But Master Billaba did. 

He took a deep breath, preparing to say something crazy. Something he hadn't fully admitted to himself. “I left for a reason. I ran into Ezra for a reason.” _You came here for a reason._

“And what reason is that?” 

 _The Force brought us all together._ He couldn't say it out loud. He kept Hera’s gaze and took a deep breath as she held hers. The least he could do was explain.

“Ezra found me.” Hera raised her eyebrows, and Kanan went on. “In my car. When he tried to steal it.”

“That was you? I knew he stole that car!” Hera said. Kanan couldn't help but smirk. She arched an eyebrow, adding, “Wait. He stole it while you were in it?”

“I was, uh, sleeping,” he explained. _Close enough_. She eyed him with skepticism and he cleared his throat. “Okay, by _sleeping_ , I mean _passed out drunk_.”

Hera sighed. “That figures.”

“Sometimes that was what it took to get any sleep at all. The car’s not exactly comfortable.”

“I’m sure it had nothing at all to do with the guilt.”

For as little time as they had spent together, she knew him awfully well. But maybe the story would explain what he couldn't spit out. “I think I had to run away to find Ezra.”

Hera thought about it for a long time. She stood. “I still think that's awfully convenient for you, but thanks for telling me.”

Kanan stood to follow her, but she didn't move for the door. He leaned against the wall of the RV. “So what are you going to do now?” 

“I'm going to help Ezra,” she said, as if it were simple.

“You can't be serious.” Kanan shook his head in disbelief. “You don't realize what we're up against.”

“Do you?” she asked. “What's your endgame? Keep running? Drag Ezra around the country until he ends up like _you_?”

“What's that supposed to mean?” But it was an empty retort. He’d teach Ezra to hide his Force presence and then what? The world didn't need another Kanan. He couldn't take Ezra to sleazy casinos and bars—Ezra needed to be in school. It might have been too late for Kanan, but it wasn't too late for Ezra. Hera didn't respond, so Kanan filled the silence. “Fine. You want to help him. How are you going to do it?”

She folded her arms across her chest. “Don't take this the wrong way, Kanan, but I'm not sure I can trust you with that information.”

He couldn't believe his ears. “Come on. You need my help. I'm the one who found Ezra.”

“I thought he found you,” she retorted. 

“That’s beside the point,” he said, waving his hand. “If you have a plan, I think I should know about it.”

Hera narrowed her eyes. “Do you really want to help?” 

“Of course I do. I'm not camping out here with Ezra for my health,” he said. She widened her eyes, as if urging him to continue. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "The truth is, I don't know what to do. If you've got ideas, I'd welcome them.”

She pursed her lips in thought. “Well, you _are_ useful.”

“I'm _very_ useful.” He took a chance and stepped closer to her.

Hera shook her head but didn't step back. “The problem is that I can't rely on you. What's going to stop you from running off again?”

 _Fair point_. “Ezra, for starters. Someone has to keep him out of trouble.”

Hera cocked her head to the side. “And that's you?”

“Hey, I do have some idea what he's going through.” The words came out before he could stop them.

Hera’s lips parted and her arms dropped to her sides as she took his meaning. He forced himself to look away before things got out of hand. 

“What's _your_ endgame? What about school?” he asked, trying to fill the silence. Kanan would probably never finish, but school was too important to Hera.

Hera was unfazed. “I want to help people. What's the point of waiting three more years if I can do it now?”

“But what about your internships?” He turned back toward her. Had they been standing this close before? “What about your plan?” 

“Sometimes plans need to change,” Hera replied. “I'll get back to school.”

Kanan shook his head. They were closer, and speaking softer now. “People always say that and then suddenly, they're 50 years old with 4 kids and no degree.”

“Are we talking about you or me here?” Hera pressed a finger to her chin and his gaze fell back to her lips.

“You and I both know I'm not making it to 50,” he said, voice low. 

“Kanan...” She stepped closer, eyes shining with concern. It had only been a joke. Mostly.

He leaned down, she rose up, close enough now to—

The door flew open, startling them apart.

“Are you freaking kidding me?” It was Chopper. “I can't leave you guys alone for five minutes.”

“Just a talk. We’re done,” Hera said. She folded her arms and stepped over to the other side of the RV.

 _Done for now, at least,_ Kanan thought. He kept his eyes on Hera as if he might be able to figure out her plan, but she had gone unreadable again. She didn’t trust him, but she was still attracted to him. He could live with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels...?


	17. Midnight Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hera's crew begins to come together, and but trust takes time, and more than a little give and take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to JD for building me up when I knock myself down.

For better or worse, Chopper’s timing was impeccable. _One pout and you're all over him_ , she thought. _Don't get distracted._

Hera let her brain catch up with the rest of her body as Ezra, Zeb, and Sabine climbed in behind Chopper. 

Ezra looked around the RV, eyes wide. 

“It's a little dated, but it still runs well,” she said, gesturing to the old RV. Years of careful control allowed Hera to change her demeanor like flipping a switch, at least on the outside. 

Ezra ran a finger along one of the wood-paneled cabinets. “It's even older than Kanan’s car.”

“And much less economical,” Sabine added.

Ezra smirked. “Smells better, though.”

Sabine snickered, then looked up at Kanan. “Hey. Remember me?” 

“Of course. Hi, Sabine.”

“Guess you decided to help Ezra after all. I'd thank you, but you were kind of a jerk about it,” she said, crossing her arms.

Ezra snorted. “Yeah, that sounds like Kanan.”

“You left us in a tight spot,” Zeb grumbled. “Got the scrapes to prove it.”

Kanan turned to Zeb, his face solemn. “Zeb. You saved Okadiah’s life. I don't know how I can repay you for that, but thank you.” He extended a hand for Zeb to shake, but Zeb just stretched out his own arms and cracked his knuckles.

“It's what you paid me for, isn't it?” 

“Guess so,” Kanan said, pulling back his outstretched hand and rubbing his neck. 

Hera almost felt sorry for Kanan, but everyone was just being honest. With the exception of Ezra and herself, he was basically in a room full of strangers, and he had earned some hostility.

“What have you been doing out here?” Sabine asked Ezra. 

Hera had been wondering this, too, but hadn't gotten a chance to ask before Chopper came bursting in. 

 _And it was a good thing he did_ , she reminded herself. She liked to think they would have just kept on talking, but given their history...

“We’ve been on the run,” said Ezra, sidestepping the details. “It's been rough. Kanan’s car is—”

“We get it,” Kanan snapped. 

Ezra smirked, but then looked thoughtful. “But seriously, what are we gonna do with Kanan’s car?”

“We?” Kanan retorted. He looked around the camper, then to Hera. “Wait, is _this_ your plan? I'm not running a summer camp.”

Hera had been afraid of this. The plan has been to pick up Ezra and then find Kanan, but now she had to improvise. “We’re not leaving without you two,” she said.

Sabine crossed her arms. “Or at least not without Ezra.” Hera shot her a disapproving look, and Sabine said, “Hey, just because _you_ like Kanan doesn't mean we all have to.”

Now everyone was just piling on. Kanan didn't need Hera to defend him, but she wasn’t about to encourage him to leave. He was right; Ezra needed a mentor and right now, Kanan was the closest they could get. 

“I towed my car behind me when I brought this back to Lothal,” Hera said, sidestepping Sabine’s comment. “Yours won't be a problem.”

“That's not the issue here,” he said through gritted teeth. He threw her a significant look. 

She tried to talk with her eyes—maybe the Force would help him understand—and tell him, _Later_. Kanan raised his eyebrows. 

Chopper watched Kanan with narrowed eyes and Hera fought back a groan. She knew what she was doing, especially when it came to Kanan.

 _Don’t I?_ Knowing what she knew now (and having him all but confirm it) made his inexcusable actions at least understandable, but she was more sympathetic than she'd realized. 

 _Keep it together_ , she told herself. 

Kanan’s words echoed in her mind, intertwining with bits and pieces of the conversation with her father. She could read between the lines. Was it _really_ a coincidence, or had the Force led them down to this path? 

They were both being cagey, but Hera hoped Kanan was training Ezra. Sabine didn't get it. Personal feelings aside, they needed both of them. _For the plan_ , Hera thought, _whatever it is._

They had to do something. Hera had only been gone a few days for her visit to Ryloth, but when she returned, Skelly had disappeared, Sabine was holed up in Hera’s dorm room, and Ahsoka was gone without an explanation. Chopper’s intel said the ISB were popping up in all sorts of new places. All she had from Ahsoka was a note that confirmed the next step: _Find them._  

She hadn’t gotten her chance to confront Ahsoka about her being a Jedi, why they had all converged in Lothal, or what to do once she found Ezra and Kanan.

It was Zeb who’d suggested taking Okadiah to his nephew’s house. Luckily, she had her father’s camper. 

“Now this is nice,” Okadiah had said. “You sure know how to make a guy feel special. I hope you're not off the market when Kanan finally comes to his senses.” 

She didn’t bother protesting. It was sweet that he thought of Kanan like a son, and the look on Kanan’s face when he found out Okadiah had been attacked spoke volumes. _I hope they see each other again someday._

Zeb probably had a different opinion, but so far, they had been lucky. Too lucky. Either the ISB was biding their time to gage the Jedi threat or the organization was still gathering strength. Neither option was reassuring.

Hera snuck a glance at Kanan, who was staring at the wall, apparently as deep in thought as she was. He was going to see right through her lack of a plan, and he was still a flight risk.

Ezra talked a good game about being alone, but watching him catch up with Sabine and tentatively introduce himself to Zeb and Chopper, it was plain that companionship was exactly what he craved. 

She yawned. The full day of driving was wearing on her and she didn't realize how late it had gotten. 

“No one has to make up their mind right now,” Hera said. “But we should get some rest.”

“Are we really all going to fit in here?” Ezra asked. 

Sabine climbed the ladder to the bunk over the cab. “I’m keeping the overhead bed.” She didn't wait for a response before pulling the cover shut, but Hera doubted anyone would complain. 

Chopper stretched out on the back row of seats. “I'm fine back here.”

Zeb, who was already nodding off, unfolded the pull-out couch he was sitting on. “Works for me.”

“Guess I’m fine with a couch,” said Ezra with a yawn. He was the shortest of the bunch, and he fit on the bench easily. 

That left the bed. Hera and Kanan both looked at it. 

Chopper piped up from the back of the RV. “Don't even think about it.” 

Hera rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to shut him up, but Kanan spoke first. “I'll take the floor.”

She frowned. “You can't be serious.”

“I've been sleeping in my car for the past month,” he said with a shrug. “For the last two weeks, I've been upright in the front seat. As long as I can stretch my legs out, I'm good. You take the bed.”

Hera would have been happy to give up the bed, but she knew it would be a losing battle. Instead, she took a pillow off and passed it to Kanan. “At least take this.”

“Thanks.” Kanan looked away quickly. “I've got a blanket in my car.” 

He passed Zeb, now snoring, and Ezra, who was curled into a ball, on the way out. 

Hera followed him.

“Not thinking of sneaking off again, are you?” she asked, closing the door behind her once they were outside.  

Kanan turned around, brows knitted. “Come on, aren't we past that?” 

Hera crossed her arms. “It hasn't been that long.”

“If Ezra wants to go with you, then I'm coming, too,” he said. He stroked his chin. “Where, exactly, are we going? Or is that a secret?” 

 _Caught_ , she thought. She had to change tactics. “I'll tell you when we get there. But since I've got you alone again, can we talk?”

Kanan tilted his head and smirked. “Talk about what? How you tried to kiss me back there?”

She mirrored his expression. “You mean how you tried to kiss me?” 

“It looked pretty mutual from where I was standing,” he conceded. “But we could try again if you want to make sure.”

“Don't get excited.” She brushed her lekku behind her shoulders, summoning her business face and hoping he wouldn't call her out on not following through.

He shook his head bemusedly. “You don't have to manipulate me, you know. I'll do anything you ask.”

“We both know that's not true.” But if she wanted him to open up to her, she'd have to keep working their chemistry. “I've been thinking, and you're right. There are some things about your past that I can't understand. I meant everything I said earlier, but I didn't have to come down on you so hard, so I'm sorry for that.”

“Okay.” He opened his car door slowly. “But you don't have to apologize. We both know I deserved it. And for the record, you can come down on me as hard as you want, I can take it.”

Hera sighed, relieved he took the bait. “Is _everything_ sexual with you?” 

“Hey, I didn't say anything about sex. That was all you.” He reached into the backseat to grab his blanket.

She just knew he was smirking in there. She leaned against his car as he straightened.  “Please. You're not that hard to figure out, Kanan.” 

He draped the blanket over his shoulder and shut the door. “You think you're an expert on me just because you figured out _one_ thing?”

Hera snorted. “One major thing.”

“You said it yourself—there’s still a lot you don't know,” said Kanan. He leaned against the car beside her. “And there’s a lot I don't know about you.”

The words came too easily. “Well, it looks like we're about to be spending a lot of time together. Maybe we can work on that.” She nudged his shoulder with her own. 

“I’d like that,” he replied. “Why don't we start right now?” 

Every time she thought she had the upper hand, he’d use that low voice and have her scrambling. But she could get to him, too.

She looked up at him, standing on her toes to get closer. Almost nose to nose. She lowered her eyes, looking up at him through her lashes. “I was thinking we could,” she paused to flash a smile, “ _talk_.”

“We _are_ talking, Hera.” If he said her name like that again, they would not just be talking much longer. 

“You didn't left me finish,” she said, tapping his collarbone as she held his gaze. He raised his eyebrows, hanging on her every word. “I want to talk,” she slid her finger down his chest, “about you training Ezra to use the Force.”  

Kanan’s parted lips curled into something between a smirk and a scowl, and he drew back. She let her arm fall to her side but didn't break eye contact. Even guarded, he couldn't hide his disappointment, and she couldn't pretend she didn't miss the heat.

With an exaggerated yawn, he pushed off the car and said, “You know, I'm actually pretty tired tonight. Can we do this another time?”

“But I thought you wanted to get to know each other better,” she said, putting a hand on her hip. 

“And you know one of my secrets,” Kanan pointed out. “A big one. I think it's your turn now.”

Of course she wasn't the only one playing games, and tonight was a stalemate. “What are you saying, _I'll show you mine if you show me yours?_ ”

“Mind out of the gutter, Syndulla.” With a grin, he brushed past her and headed back to the RV. Looking over his shoulder, he winked and added, “Goodnight. Can't wait to see where you're taking us in the morning, Captain.” 

Hera rolled her eyes in bemusement. “Goodnight, Kanan.”

She watched him board and sighed. They did need a destination, but unless Ahsoka contacted her out of the blue, she was going to need more information from Kanan first. Then, they could just move from place to place, gathering intel, helping where they could, and keeping Kanan and Ezra hidden. It wasn't much of a plan.

They'd need money to keep gas in the RV, too, and Kanan hadn't shed any light on how he was funding his travels. _Probably cheating at cards_ , she thought. _I hope he didn't take Ezra anywhere dangerous._

She and Kanan were never going to get anywhere at this rate. She wasn't above a little flirting to get his guard down, but he was a master at that game. She was not going to sleep with him to get information, and she figured Kanan wouldn't be receptive to that, either.

 _Not that there aren't plenty of_ legitimate _reasons to sleep with him…_

Hera sighed. Maybe that was the problem—this undefined _thing_ that was still going on between them. If that was off the table, would they be able to communicate like adults? 

It was easy to resist Kanan in theory, but when they were alone together, all bets were off. Thankfully, with an RV full of people, they weren't going to be getting much time alone anytime soon. That was more effective than any cold shower. 

Plus, the RV had a tiny water heater so showers were _always_ cold.

Hera climbed back into the RV and closed the door as quietly as she could. It was quiet except for Zeb’s soft snores. The bed was waiting for her, but she wasn't tired.

 _Someone should keep watch anyway_ , she thought. So instead of the bed, she curled up in the driver’s seat and looked out the windshield.

Bathed in moonlight, the overlook was a pretty spot. Remote, too. The roads weren’t well marked and it didn’t seem like anyone had been there in a long time. Staring at it made life feel a bit simpler. Hera wasn’t sure how long she stared, half-cooked ideas passing in and out of her mind, when she heard a whisper.

“Thought you were going to get some sleep.”

It was Kanan. 

“I could say the same to you. Floor not as comfy as you thought it’d be?” she asked, looking up. His hair hung loose around his face—was he still toying with her? 

“I slept,” he said with a shrug. It couldn’t have been more than an hour or two, but from what he had told her, she doubted he ever slept well. He rested his hand on the back of the passenger seat. “I can keep watch for a while if you want a break.”

Hera stifled a yawn. “That’s okay.” 

“I get it,” he said. “I haven’t earned your trust. But you know I don’t want to get caught out here, either.”

She looked out the window again. “And your car’s sitting right outside, full tank of gas, waiting to take you to safety.”

Kanan didn’t say anything.

She gestured to the passenger seat. “You're welcome to join me if you want.”

He sat down. No innuendos, no winks, and for a while, no words at all. Hera watched him through the corner of her eye as he pulled his hair back. He took a deep breath.

“I’ve been trying to teach Ezra to hide his presence,” he said, voice even quieter than before. “Kind of hard when you have to start from scratch.”

Her eyes went wide, amazed he’d admitted anything. She wasn’t sure if he meant he was starting from scratch with Ezra or himself, and she had no idea what he meant by _hiding_ _his presence_. Did he use the Force to hide the fact that he was a Jedi? Did Ahsoka do that, too?

“Is that how you hid for so long?” she asked. 

“It’s about the only thing I’m good at,” he said. One corner of his mouth crept up, and he hesitated before adding, “When it comes to the Force, that is.”

Hearing him say the word almost took her breath away. He cloaked his doubts in bravado, but he was trying. 

“I’m well aware of your other skills,” she said with a knowing smile. Kanan grinned back, probably out of appreciation for the change in subject. She wanted to ask him if he planned to teach Ezra anything else, but his smile softened, bringing back that little ache that pushed her to name whatever was going on between them.

 _No_. Naming it, pursuing it, would only make things more complicated. Part of her wanted to pick up where they left off, but it was just another way to avoid letting her guard down. If she wanted mature communication, then she had to put the work in, too. 

“I visited my father,” she offered. 

“Is that where you were last week?” Kanan asked. “Ezra said you were gone.”

He had definitely listened to Ezra’s calls. “Were you worried?”

“Just curious. I know you can handle yourself,” he said with a smile. “So, how was Ryloth?”

She was almost surprised he remembered, but Ryloth was just a sensible guess. “Warm.”

“And your father?” 

“Busy,” Hera said. “He’s the mayor.”

Kanan’s eyebrows went up. “So leadership runs in your family.” 

Hera frowned at him. She wanted to protest, but the visit had shown her that she and her father were much more alike than she wanted to admit. “He wouldn’t tell me much, but the ISB are picking up support there, too.”

“Secrecy runs in the family too, then?”

Hera sighed. “You have no idea.” 

He didn’t push her for more. If he stuck around, someday she’d tell him more. Her father had inadvertently spilled more of Kanan’s secrets, but she’d wait to hear them him. If he ever wanted to share.

For now, a little progress was enough. 

Hera started awake, hours later from the look of the sky. If she had dreamed, she couldn’t remember anything. When she glanced to her right, Kanan was still there, staring off into the distance. He must have heard her stir (or perhaps sensed her—another question for another time), because he looked over to her and smiled. 

That smile was genuine, she was sure of it. If anyone asked, she’d blame a lack of sleep, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling in return.

Dawn began to cast bronze and blue tones across the sky. Planets and stars glimmered in the distance, fading as a sliver of sun broke free from the hill peaks in the distance. Hera and Kanan watched in easy silence, side by side. The quiet wouldn’t keep much longer and the plan was a mess, but in that moment, it felt like anything was possible.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This seemed like a good place to tie things up. I've been working on a sequel but I need time, especially after the series finale inevitably wrecks me. Thanks so much for reading, and for sticking with me as this story transformed. Your comments, kudos, and views have meant the world to me, and I can't wait so share more if you'll have me.


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